How do you catch a runaway laptop?

**With an internet.**

I heard on the news that the police were looking for a runaway octopus

They said he was armed and dangerous

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man with a corkscrew dick

This is the story of runaway Rick,

The only man with a corkscrew dick,

He searched the world from pole to pole,

To find a woman with a corkscrew hole,

The day he found her he nearly dropped dead,

The woman he found had a left hand thread.

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do policemen aim at the tires of runaway cars?

Because it is fundamental in bringing the vehicle to a complete halt.

Not because they are black. You racist fuck.

If i was stranded on an island with a fully functioning plane and a runaway,,

I'd still be stranded on an island.

Alabama Pastor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand...

What’s the best way to stop a runaway horse?

Bet on it.

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The blind pilots

Passengers of a 747 begin settling in for their scheduled takeoff when two men in pilot uniforms stumble into the plane, one with a seeing eye dog and the other with a walking stick. The passengers think it's some sort of joke and think nothing of it, but the men carefully and methodically make the...

I visited an old, abandoned fairground yesterday...

My whole family advised me not to.


"Don't go near the rollercoaster", said my mum.

"Why?" I asked.

"Remember... the story of how it is haunted by Runaway Tom... a ghost that is said to tie his victims to the track and have the rollercoaster run over them."


"Don't ...

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A Frenchman, Spaniard and Indian are sitting on the deck of a ship...

awaiting their punishments by the British Captain. The Captain approaches and says,"I have been given strict orders by the Commodore that the punishment shall fit the crime".

"You shall list the crime you have been convicted of, and I shall determine the appropriate punishment, which shall th...

Did you hear about the tunnel the escaped prisoners dug under the jail?

It was a runaway success.

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