The 5+ Best Empties Jokes

What did the homeless man say to the musician?

"You poor man. Here."

*empties his change cup*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man hears a voice inside his head that tells him " quit your job, sell your car, empty your bank account, go to a casino and put everything on number 7."

The man ignores the voice, and go back to his normal life. After 7 days he hears the same voice telling him " quit your job, sell your car, empty your bank account, go to a casino and put everything on number 7." he ignores it again and 7 days later he hears the same voice saying the same thing....

The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A door to door vacuum salesman visits a house. When he proposes a deal the woman tells him to take a hike. Without giving her a second chance the man empties a bucket of cow dung onto to carpet and says "If the vacuum cleaner doesn't suck all of this up then I will eat the rest myself" The woman goe...

Xhyr'noth the defiler, an ancient cosmic horror, decides to visit earth to go pub crawling through the US.

In the first state everyone at the pub runs off in terror. As the humanoid looking abomination filled with eyes and tentacles warps in and orders a beer. The police and military is informed but doesn't know what to do yet. The bartender doesn't care because he has suicidal depression and rather stri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were in a hotel for a convention.

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were in a hotel for a convention. Then, in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, a fire breaks out in the engineer's wastebasket. The engineer rushes over to the bathroom, empties out the ice bucket, fills it with water and pours it into the ...

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