Wife is tired of me using trite, meaningless expressions and overusing contractions. Oh well...

It's what it's.

life without love is meaningless..

Love without life is necrophilia.

If you ever feel like your life is meaningless

Just remember that someone out there provides Donald Trump with face masks.

If you ever feel your job is meaningless...

Just remember that it's somebody's job to install turn signals to BMW's

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

I hate how people meaninglessly joke about 9/11, my grandpa died then.

He was such a great pilot.

What do you call an Egyptian that believes life is meaningless?

A nileist

The Pope opens up the newspaper, and finds the headline says he has been accused of Matchfixing!

The Pope opens up the newspaper, and finds the headline says he has been accused of Matchfixing!

Although he doesn't have to, he decides to go to court to clear his name of this slander.

At the courtroom, the prosocuter asks him, "Is is true that you sent Juventus your thoughts and pra...

You think YOU have a meaningless job?

Think about the guy who makes turn signals at the BMW factory.

I used to believe that my stencil drawings served a purpose, but now I know they're meaningless

I'm an ex-stencilist

My friends like meaningless, depressing, and sad jokes.

That's why they like me

A renowned scientist is frustrated with the popularity of misinformation. In an interview, he tells the press “my research is meaningless if taken out of context!”

The next day, the public is taken by storm as headlines spread that “Renowned Scientist Claims That His Research is Meaningless!”

If you think your job is meaningless

remember that in the BMW factory, there are people whose job is to install turning lights

I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold.

I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

Once upon a time, a Reddit lurker clicked on a joke in /r/jokes.

They weren't expecting to read that ultimately, their life is meaningless and that nothing they do matters in the grand scheme of things.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Understanding BF

My girlfriend always complaints that she hates have meaningless sex.

So now when I hump her I read out all the synonyms of love making from Oxford dictionary.

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis...

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two alcoholics are drinking at a bar

It's Tuesday, and they've been there the day before as well.

One of them asks

"George, what are we doing here?"

"I don't know Robert, maybe it's because we made the wrong choice when we were young, maybe we got too involved in drinking and not enough in studying, and know it's t...

I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events

Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wedding night

Billy was a rich prince who had had many women before, but he wanted the perfect one for marriage, to extend his dynasty and satisfy his old grandma queen. He thought his future wife should be a perfect virgin of rare innocence, so he started an ''audition'', picking up girls in his Rolls Royce and ...

Moth Joke

A moth goes into a dietitian's office looking very unwell.


The dietitian goes, "What seems to be the problem?"


The moth replies, "Where to start, doc? Each day I wake up at 6:00 a.m. next to a moth wife I once loved, who I have slowly drifted away from over the days. Her once...

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness.

How did the birthday child respond?

You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift.

To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What a Man means when he says...

I’m hungry – I’m hungry.

I’m tired – I’m tired.

Do you want to go to see a film? – I would like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? – I would like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? – I would like to have sex with you.

Would you like to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Don't knock masturbation..."

"It's sex with someone you love."... Woody Allen.

Moar...

'Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good.'

And lastly...

'My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.'

I hate Nihilism ...

It's meaningless!

Nihilistic Kindergartners

David Bloom gained notoriety for his book “Piscus Terminus: How to tell your five year old you flushed his fish down the toilet.” Noted for its brute realism, the book’s message led many kindergartners to spiral into a nihilistic despair, which contributed to the phenomenon of so called “Kierkegaard...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock and Watson go camping... (reposted from the intelligent jokes thread)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping in the woods one night during an investigation. As they lay out under the stars, Holmes asks Dr. Watson a question...

"Watson!" Holmes said imperiously. "Look at the stars and tell me what you can deduce." Watson sighed, recognizing one of Holmes' fr...

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