"Do Lemons Whistle?"

A drunk goes up to his host at a party and says with that terrible seriousness of totally plastered adults and very small children, "Excuse Me."

The host turns around and there is the drunk, just plastered and glassy eyed, completely out of it. The host thinking there is something wrong says,...

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Spicy relationship

gf is prego

we like to get kinky anyways

one night things get particularly saucy

i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights

wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period

i look up at her, she...

A grumpy, drunken, old cowboy was riding his horse near the Mexican border when he noticed it chewing on a strange, stout cactus.

Before long, the pony started behaving strangely, walking slowly and irregularly and not responding to the cowboys commands.
The cowboy became progressively more frustrated, as well as more drunk and more mean as he continued to glug himself into the depths of his whiskey bottle.
The horse ev...

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The Godfather’s relaxing at his social club...

...with his crew. The usual gaggle of young Turks waits in the wings, hoping to get noticed, hoping to move up.

The Godfather calls one of them over.

“Jimmy, I hear good things about you. They tell me you’re serious, that you can be trusted.”

Jimmy swells with pride.

“I ...

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A man meets a strange woman on a train in a sleeping coupe.

After a few awkward moments they make an arrangement that the woman will sleep on the top bunk and the man will sleep on the bottom bunk.

In the middle of the night, the woman gets up and prods the man to wake him up.

"Please, sir, I'm sorry for bothering you, but could you ask the con...

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A horse walks into a bar...

A horse walks into a bar and rests his head on the counter. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the long face?" The horse stares at the bartender with big glassy eyes and replies "I've got cancer". The bartender's jaw falls open as he stares in disbelief. "Holy shit! A talkin' horse!" A...

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