Elements Jokes - 35 Hilarious Elements Jokes

Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements?

If you can't curium or helium, you barium!

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What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?

Nitrogen, sulfur, fluorine, and tungsten…because they are NSFW.

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Of all the elements, carbon is kind of a tramp

it dates everything

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What sets carbon apart from the other elements?

It’s the only element with based life forms.

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What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

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What do you do with dead elements?

You barium

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Elements of the periodic table are being interviewed

The interviewer asks Oxygen what they are. Oxygen says "I'm a gas."

The interviewer asks Copper what they are. Copper says "I'm a solid."

The interviewer asks Bromine what they are. Bromine says "I'm a liquid."

The interviewer asks Roentgenium what they are. Roentgen...

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How often do scientists like to joke about elements?

Periodically

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If fire and water are both elements, what is steam?

Better than Epic.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

Where do elements work out?

The oxygym

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I want to start a restaurant for separated elements

I'll call it "I-O-Dine". I think it'll help the divorced find a solution.

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What are the Avatar elements?

Water, Earth, Fire and Lays chips

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Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'barium'!

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What two secret organizations rule the world through control of important metallic elements?

The Aluminati and the Tinplars.

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What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

The atoms family.

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What elements are a banana made out of?

BaNa₂

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Why are elements so important?

Because they matter

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TIL a Goose's beak is composed of 4 elements: Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Potassium.

HONK

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When people scare me, I throw metallic elements at them.

Call that a defense magnesium

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What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?

Silly-con!

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How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light?

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

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A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

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A Helium enters to a bar of elements...

The bartender just kicks him out saying he's too noble to be there.

But he didn't react.

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Silver walked up to elements in a bar that was on fire. Silver said "Get out!"

Gold said "Aukay"

Potassium said "K"

Sodium said "Na"

Argon didn't react.

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I asked my science teacher if she has a favorite element

She said No

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There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc...

... because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron.

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Some elements walk into a bar...

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium, and phosphorus all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "OH SNaP!"

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The confused radioactive element

So there was a radioactive element who was perpetually confused.
One fine day, he was asked, "what do you do?".

"IDK".

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Why can't any of the others elements ever get in touch with Sodium?

Because it's always NA.

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In my efforts to come up with a unique style of music, I tried to mesh together the elements of Jazz and Funk.

But it just sounded like junk.

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A redhead, brunette and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about thier opinions on elements.

The redhead says,"I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it."

The brunette says,"I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars."

The blonde...

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The elements decided to make a band. They called themselves "Earth, Fire and Ice"

"What happened to Air?"

"He kept blowing them off"

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Did you hear about the hipster youth pastor creating a new Christian sect combining elements of Protestant and Baptist beliefs?

He's a Pabst-ist.

Edited to help /u/visualshocker get the joke

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements...

So far you could say Bismuth is booming.

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