What do you call a child with Iodine deficiency?

Chld.

What did chlorine say to iodine when they were playing minecraft?

Bromine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How chemist came out of the closet?

Iodine Americium Bismuth!

I tried to give iodine a full electron shell...

...but iodide.

I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'


I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

What did iodine say to Xenon when caesium died?

Well, I guess we better Barium.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This should be a standard response to chemistry jokes

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium

Yttrium Oxygen Uranium

Arsenic Sulphur Tungsten Iodine Phosphorus Einsteinium

:)

How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light?

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

Inspector in a hospital is interviewing a room full of patients

He asks the first one

- What are you in here with?
- Gonorrhea
- How are they treating you?
- Swab it with iodine
- Any questions or complaints?
- No

So he moves to the next one

- What are you in here with?
- Hemorhoids
- How are they treating you?
- Swab...

Nerdy pickup line.

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

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