This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One day, the teacher enters the classroom...

As she walks in, she spots a message written on the board: “Johnny has a huge penis”, she erases the board, and proceeds with class.

In the next day as she walk in, the message is written again in the board: “Johnny has a huge penis”, she them looks at the class and asks who wrote that, but...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher would always enter the classroom with a vulgar joke

The girls decided that next time he does it they would all leave the room. Now the teacher caught wind of this plot and when the day came, he said: “it turns out that there is a boatload of whores that are going to Africa” at this all the girls start to leave the teacher stops them by saying “hey, h...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Seven year old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.

"What's your name," asked the teacher. "Mohammad," he replied. "You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike.” Mohammad returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohammad," his mother asked? "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mi...

What is a sea lion's favorite classroom subject?

ART! ART! ART!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A scientist goes into a kindergarten classroom...

A scientist goes into a kindergarten classroom to conduct an experiment. The experiment involves the kids eating gummy bears and judging by the color and taste, the kids will shout out the flavor.

The scientist gives them a red gummy bear and the kids can instantly tell that it’s strawberry....

When I was in school every classroom had a chalkboard. Now every classroom has a whiteboard.

They are remarkable.

Why did the Muslim boy ask to leave the classroom?

He had to take a Shiite.

A teacher does a classroom experiment

The teacher has three jars, one filled with alcohol, one filled with cigarette smoke, and one filled with soil.
The teacher puts a few worms in each jar and says to the students “we’ll see which jar is thriving tomorrow.”
The next day the worms in the jars with the alcohol and cigarette smoke ...

What's the difference between r/jokes and a classroom?

Copying isn't allowed in a classroom.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

They say in a classroom of 30, one out of the 30 is going to be gay...

I really hope it's Johnny because damn is he cute

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?'

He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'

As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one ra...

My classroom teacher made me stand up in front of the class for being a nuisance during the lesson.

She held her pointer stick towards me and said,

"At the end of this stick, there is an idiot!"

I got detention after asking which end.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

Little Peter was on his classroom

his the teacher asks, if I have five birds on a branch and I throw a stone to one of them, how many I have left ...
None teacher ... ..

Why not Peter? ....

no teacher because the others fly away from the fright ....

That's wrong Peter but I like your way of thinking .........

Little Johnny and classmates are asked to bring an edible item to the classroom...

"So, Mary, what did you bring today?", the teacher asks.

"An apple. We love apples at home."

"Great, what about you, Annie?"

"I brought a PB & Jelly sandwich. It's so yummy!"

"Everybody loves those... and you, what did you bring today?"

Little Johnny opens his ...

A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.

She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.

Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!

Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!

Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?

Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word "penis"

The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word "penis" chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn't say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class.

But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - "penis", this time wri...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A classroom full of freshman medical students is anxiously awaiting their first human anatomy lesson..

when the door opens and the professor rolls in a naked dead body of an old man lying face down. He places it in the center of lecture hall and in a stiff voice says

"Before learning human anatomy there are only two important things you need to remember"

"First is you should be fearless...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A teacher walks into a classroom...

She gets up to the chalkboard and tells the kids to shut up and they will be learning a new word today. "The word is definitely, now may I hear it used correctly in a sentence?"
A little boy raises his hand. "Yes bobby?"
"The sky is definitely blue!" The boy says.
"No, that is wrong, the s...

Billy and Tommy are in a classroom

Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.


Billy: What are you going up to ask?


Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.


Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3rd Grade Classroom in a Chicken Farming Community

Miss Coral is a 3rd grade teacher in a rural community where almost all of the residents are chicken farmers. She decides to do a lesson with her students on stories with morals, and gives her students the homework of finding a story from their families that have morals.
The next day she asks ...

A teacher is going over vocabulary in a single classroom school in rural Ireland.

A teacher is going over vocabulary words in a rural town in Ireland.
She asks the class if they have any big words to share, and little Mary-Anne raises her hand.

"Yes Mary-Anne, what's you vocabulary word?" Asks the teacher.

"Contagious" says little Mary-Anne.

"Thank you, ...

Little Johnny in the classroom..

One day, a teacher asked her students, "if you think you are stupid, please stand up." No one thought they were stupid, so they remained sitting. She asked again, "if you think you are stupid, please stand up." Little Johnny stood up, and everyone around him started laughing. The teacher asked "now ...

A Bitter Army Veteran storms into a classroom and shouts "If it weren't for me you'd all be speaking German!"

"That's right" replies the German teacher.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A sexy teacher enters a classroom with 20 boys......

All 40 get up.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom...

She announces to the class that on Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who gives the right answer can skip school on Monday.

So, on the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are at the beach?" Well, the kids looked at one another, but no one had the answ...

What did the blonde say when the classroom bully stole her pencil?

I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN WRITE NOW

Little Johnny is in the classroom, learning how to add

"How much is two plus two, Johnny?" asks the teacher.

Johnny hesitates, looks at his hand, and starts counting with his fingers: "One, two, three,
four!" he exclaims.

"No, no. Johnny," says the teacher. "You can't use your hands. You have to count in your head. So, how much is four ...

This is guaranteed laughs in the Chinese classroom. It was originally a bit in a Pink Panther movie

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies,...

A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher.

Just before the school year started, he injured his
back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper
part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and
wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to
the toughest students i...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two inspectors enter a classroom...

...to see how active and intelligent the students were.



They both sit behind one of the kids. The teacher starts asking question, and the kid in front of the inspectors raises his hand at every question, but the teacher avoids him, knowing that he's stupid.



After a few...

So a suicide bombing instructor walks into his classroom...

...and says, "Okay, I'm only going to show you guys this once..."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In a classroom

The teacher is talking to little girls about Johnny's awful language 'Remember girls, when Johnny starts swearing just go out of our classroom.' Johnny came in and sat down. The teacher asked what are the buildings under construction in town. Kids say many things but then Little Johnny says 'They ar...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Genitals in the classroom ...

One day in a normal school classroom, the teacher went in after recess and found a penis drawn on the blackboard. She couldn't find the eraser, so she just cleaned it with her hand, thinking it was just a prank the kids were playing on her.

The next day after recess, the teacher found yet ano...

Why was the mermaid embarrassed and crying in the classroom?

She forgot her Algae-bra. Ha..

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." ...

So there's this classroom full of students in china...

...and this kid named meng was making fun of the teacher. The teacher walks up to him and yells; now listen you... All of a sudden the kid next to him says, but meng did it not me.

The classroom was silent

The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard. Then she turned around and said, " Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put t...

why did the computer go to the cafe?, and who is the king of the classroom?

to get a byte, and
the ruler!!!

my one sub teacher tells absolutely terrible jokes everytime we have her!

A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students

He then started:

-Joe, kiss my toe! Ferdinand, kiss my hand!

He abruptly stops singing and asks:

Why are you leaving the classroom, Patrick?

The United States is under attack in American schools

The map of America had four tacks holding it to the wall in nearly every classroom I was in.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny comes home from school

And tells his father:
-Dad, today I got 4 F's at school

Dad gets frustrated:
-Why, what have you done, what subjects?

J: English, Maths, PE and Religion.

D: OK, how did you get an F in English class?

J: Teacher said: Mary loves John. Mary loves Allan. Mary loves Ma...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One day...

Little Billy was sitting in the classroom going through a math lesson.

Out of nowhere, Billy starts a conversation about Mr. Johnston, who recently gotten into a car accident.

"Hey, you guys hear about Mr. Johnston?" says Billy.

One of his friends say "Yeah, it was terrible! He ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What are purple flowers

One day, little Johnny passes by his older brother’s room, where he overheard him talking to his girlfriend on the phone. The only phrase Johnny caught was “Purple flowers.” The next day in class, after giving instructions, the teacher asks if anyone has any questions. Johnny raises his hand and ask...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A joke my grandma told me before she passed.

So a classroom teacher was giving candy to all the students. While doing this she was having them all guess what flavor the candy was.

After giving the first piece to the whole class she asks the class what flavor it was. They all said grape

The next flavor was guessed to be orange and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters.

She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.

Tuesday, she was again greeted with "penis" on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning ...

A teacher is helping her young students with their colors and shapes.

"Boys and Girls, I'm thinking of something round and red!" she says.

Julie's hand shoots up. "A cherry!!" she says, beaming.

"Noooooo," says the teacher, "It's an apple...But I'm glad you're thinking...... "

She smiles at the class. "Let's try another one!" she says. "I'm think...

The inflatable headteacher at the inflatable school caught the inflatable student bringing a pin into the classroom.

He said, "Not only have you let yourself down, you've let me down, you've let your teachers down, and you've let the whole school down..."

What would be a tragedy?

One day, Donald Trump visited an elementary school, to tell the children about his success, and to show off his ‘intelligence’.
The schoolchildren were learning vocabulary, specifically the word ‘tragedy’, when the famous businessman stormed into the classroom.
Trump decided to help the childr...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Jewish kid gets kicked out of every school...

A Jewish kid gets kicked out of every school he attends.

His parents try putting him in Jewish schools. Expelled.

His parents try putting him in public school. Expelled.

His parents try putting him in Montessori schools. Expelled.

His parents try putting him in Military s...

Little Johnny ;-)

Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.

“Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have the Monday off.” said the...

The Last Exam

(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)

A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn’t exist.

Aft...

I once read a book called binary 101

It was 5

I stole this from my IT classroom

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny's dad told his teacher that he has a nasty gambling habit...

and he says "Hey, Dad! I'll bet you $5 there's some dogs humping just around this corner!"
Dad considers how likely it would be, and says "You're on, kid!"
Once they get to the corner, they see the dogs going at it and Dad pays up.
So Dad calls Johnnys teacher. "Hey, my kid has this nasty g...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade. The teacher asks each student to say their name.

Johnny replies, "my name is Johnny Fuckhour".

The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him that such language will not be tolerated.

"But that's my name," he protests....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My Father tells this one at every family get together. (Apologies in advance if that has been posted here already)

So Mrs. Rodgers is a 3rd grade English teacher, and each Monday she gives her students a new vocabulary word. The students' task is to come up with a sentence using the new vocabulary word by the following day. This week the word is "contagious."

So Tuesday morning rolls around and Mrs. Rodg...

The Whistler

A Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the Whistler's name. No one answered.

The Professor peacefully kept the Pen in his pocket saying: "Lecture ends here. I'll...

Stay away from uncle Bob

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to m...

My high school English teacher was so mean!

She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"


Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"

A 6th-grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars.

One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.

Now, what does each get?”

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand.

With ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dig Bick

A rumor was floating around a school about the sophomore moron; Johnny, regarding his junk. Apparently Johnny was packing enough heat to put a horse to shame.
Recent divorcee and history teacher Miss Stevens caught wind of these rumors in the staff room one day and made it her personal mission to...

I don't fuss over the difference between "can" and "may" like other English teachers.

In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."

He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.

A college student is taking an end of the semester test for his bird study class

He realizes that if he studies the whole night, he can ace the final and get a good grade. So he pulls an all-nighter and feels good about the material. The next day, he arrives to his class, and the test begins. The thing he neglected to study was identifying certain birds by their footprint. This ...

A young Jewish boy goes to a new school in a small American mid-west town

The teacher asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?”
A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the father of our country.”
The teacher replies, “Well, that’s a very good answer, but that’s not quite the ans...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So, after beating the crap out of the nerdy kid in my class who always gets things right,

I returned to the front of the classroom and resumed teaching.

Heaviest Lunch

This is a really old story my grandfather told me years ago.

When he was in elementary school in his tiny rural town, they pretty much ate what they grew or killed. Well he was going on a couple weeks of having nothing to eat for lunch at school beside mustard greens and a biscuit. He got ti...

James Earl Jones joins the U.S. Naval Academy.

Once there, he takes a Calculus II class notorious for its difficulty. Unlike his classmates, he isn't worried, but that all changes when he gets his first exam grade back.

"37%?! How did I do that badly?!" he asks his teacher, Admiral Smith.

"I suggest you study harder, cadet." he re...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sexual exhaustion

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It was my first day of second grade...

...I was feeling particularly confident, as my mom helped me with my addition over the summer. I looked around the room and spotted a cute girl, and I made way across the classroom and started chatting her up. Then, out of nowhere, this big, buff kid shoved me to the ground, and started yelling at m...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Painter

Robert's son is a great painter.

He painted a $100 note on the floor of the classroom. 

His teacher broke her nails trying to pick it up. 

She called his father on the phone to complain about the kid and explain what happened.

The father from his hospital bed responds..."...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny had to piss

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He waved his hand high and yelled out,"Miss Johnson, I need to take a piss!!"
Miss Johnson replied back, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this classroom. The correct word you want to...

Johnny, could you please come up here and count to ten?

The teacher asked Johnny to come up to the front of the classroom and count to ten

Teacher: "What are waiting for Johnny?"

Johnny took a deep breath

Johnny: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..."

Suddenly Johnny burst out crying and the teacher came running to him

Teacher: What's wron...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny was late for class

As he walked into the classroom the teacher said "why are you late again Johnny".
Well, on the way to class my dad said "can you put the cart on the horse".
"The cart was at the top of the hill and the horse was at the bottom so I tried to move the cart down the hill but lost control and one o...

A kindergarten teacher asked her students to each bring something that they like.

Bobby shares first. "I brought a bone, because I love my dog." "That's great," says the teacher. "Mary, you're next."
Meanwhile, at the back of the classroom, Jerry takes off all his clothes and wears a giant USSR flag, as everyone stares.


Mary brings forward a plant and says, "I broug...

Trump asks what a tragedy is...

During one of his campaign trips, Donald Trump visits an elementary school and enters one of the classrooms. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks the cla...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Johnny deeper!

There this student in a class, which is known as the class clown. And he is a class clown so his teacher Miss trinity notices him more, because he has a thing for Miss trinity. And his teacher finds herself laughing at a lot of his jokes.
Well johnny decides to tell a joke that was inappro...

Hospital and Cop

*In class*

Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?"

Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad's at the police station."

Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?"

Jay: "Yes, please."

After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher as...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A kid shows up to class with $2,467...

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Suzie led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the custo...

Mayor goes to a school

After explaining a little bit of the governmental platform, he asks the kids if they had any questions.

Bob raises his hand and says
I have 3 questions for you...
1) How did you manage to win the elections, even though you had less votes?
2) Why do you want to attack the neighbouri...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Addition's a son of a bitch

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."
...

Little Johnny at his finest

Teacher: Ok class, if any student here is a moron, please stand up.

*Silence fills the classroom for a couple of seconds until Little Johnny, sitting all the way at the back of the classroom, stands up*

Teacher: Oh look, Little Johnny stood up! Not surprising, considering you’re the du...

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician were supposed to give a guest lecture at a school.

When they arrive at the classroom, the professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The physicist says, "We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."

The chemist says, "No! No! We ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A young boy uses the bathroom in school and wipes his ass with his hand when there's no toilet paper...

... Since he had nothing to wipe with, he comes back to the classroom with his hands cupped, hiding the shit.

The teacher notices and asks him, "what do you have in your hand?"

"Oh don't worry," the little boy says. "It's a little leprechaun."

"Now don't lie to me, show me wha...

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One of the professors at a university is well known for his sexist comments in class.

One day, all of the women in the class gathered outside of the classroom and decided that the next time he made a sexist comment they would all walk out of the classroom.

The next day the professor was talking and made another sexist statement as expected, "You ladies will be happy to hear th...

The meaning of life

A philosophy professor wants to do a lasting final lecture before retiring, so he chooses to teach about the meaning of life. He gets into the classroom and puts a big empty jar on the table. He starts to fill the jar with cobble to the top and asks the class whether the jar is filled or not. They a...

If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.

And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom naked.

Biology Lesson

A little girl raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked the teacher if her grandmother could have a baby.

The teacher surprised by the question explains that her grandmother would be too old to have a baby.

The little girl followed that up by asking if her mother could have a b...

The bell rang at school......

The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late. Mr. Clark asked, "John, why are you late?" He replied, "I was on Cherry Hill." Then he sat down. Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, "Why are you late?" Nathan answered, "I was on top of Cherry Hill." Five minutes...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Swing Low Sweet...

Haven't been on here for a bit but haven't seen this one so thought I should post it.. (apologies in advance if you have heard before)
....
A teacher asked her class to write on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children got very excited and started scribbling...

One day a man decided that he was going to take up shooting...

So he signed up for a concealed carry license class and got his own weapon. When he was done with the classroom portion, they took the class out to the shooting range to shoot some targets. The instructor told them only to shoot the 3 targets across the range. The man hit all 3 directly in the middl...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Every Friday, Ms. Jane ends class a little early...

and plays a game with the kids. She will read off famous quotes, and if one of the students in her 5th grade class can correctly name who said it, they get to leave school a little early. Today the quotes would come from US Presidents. She saw Tommy, who always won this game, sitting in the back, at...

A 3rd grade class is coming back from recess...

When they get into the classroom, teacher says:

'Alright, we have a new student today, so we'll start this class nice and easy with a small discussion - what did you do during recess?'

The new student looked very nervous, so the teacher decided to start with someone else.

'How ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Penis jokes! A professor gives his physiology class a spot quiz...

A professor gives his physiology class a spot quiz. One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy expands to ten times its normal size during periods of intense emotion and excitement?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Jonny and Uncle Ted

A classroom of elementary school students were discussing morals to stories one day. The teacher completed the lesson and with a few minutes left in the class asked, "does anyone have any stories with morals that they would like the share?" Kids hands shot up and the teacher pointed to Suzzy.
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In a first grade class on the first day of school

In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little boy stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker."
"Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher.
"That's right ho, my name is Mo...

Two college students have their most important final exam next week...

But they've chosen to spend the week partying instead. So, in their drunken stupour, after realising how badly they messed up, they beg their professor to give them an extra day for the exam. Even though sceptical, they told him that they had a flat tire on the way to university and couldn't reach c...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

John is an elementary school teacher,

and in particular enjoys teaching mathematics and crafting. However, one year, his students are rather uninterested in their arithmetic homework. Since John is a dedicated teacher, he decides to come up with a new way to teach his students.

He takes some cubical blocks of wood, and writes va...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Suzy and Johnny had to change school systems in the middle of the year.

Suzy and Johnny had to change school systems in the middle of the year. On their first day in the new school, Suzy went into her first grade classroom, and Johnny went to his fourth grade classroom.

In the first grade classroom, the teacher called Suzy up to the front and said "Class, we have...

Four college guys wanted to go on a trip but they would be late for an exam...

Four college guys wanted to go on a trip but they would be late for an important exam.
They decided they would go and make up a sob story to the professor when they were back. So they went on with the trip and came back late for the exam as expected.
Since they had a bunch of pictures on s...

Why is your cat at school?

Jimmy walks in his classroom with his cat. Then the teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy sobbing replied, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

*love

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to the class

He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing the class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.

A prankster student in the back of the classroom waved ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Physics oral exam in high school

Teacher: 'Sit down, please. Okay, let's start. You're travelling on a train and it's really hot. What do you do?'

Student 1: 'I open the window.'

Teacher: 'Excellent. The train's speed is 130 km/h and is going towards the north-north east. Outside, you have a south east wind of 25 km/h...

Why was the English teacher arrested?

She practiced capital punishment in her classroom.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A boy asks his teacher to use the restroom...

The teacher says yes and the boy goes. When he goes to wash his hands, he notices the words "Purple Fusion" on the soap dispenser. He gets back to the classroom and asks his teacher what it means. The teacher sends him to the principal. He asks the principal what it means and he expels the boy.
<...

Little Billy forgot to do his science homework on insects...

And his teacher was furious. "Right.", she said. "If you don't bring in a sheet filled with facts about insects by tomorrow, it's detention for you!"

The next day, Little Billy arrives at his classroom early and tells the teacher that he didn't do his homework, but he has an amazing fact ...