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Tuition Jokes

A high school senior visits a psychic...

"I've applied to 10 different colleges," the student said. "Which ones will accept me? Which one will I attend?"

"That is hard to say," said the psychic. "But you will spend an absurd sum of money."

"How do you know this?" the student asked.

The psychic replied,

"It's mo...

My university just cancelled classes after collectiing tuition, room, and board

The bookstore said my textbook edition was already out of date

My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery.

The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.

What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition?

Financial Ayyyyyyd

I'll^see^myself^out

The Boss calls his secretary..

The boss calls his female secretary & says:"Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:"Me & my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of urself"

The husband calls his girlfriend & says:"My wife is g...

People always ask me how I know where all of this generation's money went

It's in tuition.

Psychic: I’m sorry to say that you are going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on your education.

Man: How do you know this?

Psychic: Mostly in tuition.

My wife asked why I had the only fans app on my phone.

I responded to fund her sisters college tuition.

My wife wants to leave me. She says I care more about gambling than I do her or our daughter.

She’s obviously wrong. Why else am I refusing to leave the casino until I win my daughter’s college tuition money back?

One day, daughter shack came to Mama and Papa shack and told them that she wanted to be a comedian.

“But you're not funny," said Mama shack.

Seeing his daughter's roofline sag in disappointment, Papa shack spoke up. "Maybe we could get you a coach?"

Daughter shack smiled with joy, and as she left, Papa shack arranged for a coach.

The coach came, a part time tiler who pr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a 29 year old virgin, I hired a hooker today for $300. And have never been happier.

She said she’d do anything.

So guess who just got their college tuition paid

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks..

Then I could also pay off my college tuition without even having a summer job

College sure is expensive these days...

Instead of tuition, we pay threeition

Millennials don't get this...

Low college tuition rates.

Did you know Oxford university was founded before the Aztec Empire?

That explains the sacrifices my parents had to make to pay my tuition

Me: I can’t believe it increased by 1500%.

Professor: I’m sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.

Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...

New Boyfriend

A 20 something year old girl finally decided to introduce her boyfriend to her parents. She hid him from them because she was afraid of how they'd react because he's very religious, but now that they're engaged she couldn't hide it anymore.

The boy shakes the father's hand firmly and sits dow...

Me: "Yea, I know man. I can't believe it's risen 1500%

Me: "Yea, I know man. I can't believe it's risen 1500%

My professor stops writing on the chalkboard and turns around. "Nothing that raises 1500% that quickly is a good investment. I'm so tired of hearing about Bitcoin this Bitcoin that"

Me: We were talking about the cost of Colle...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

College pregnancy

A college girls rushes to the hospital. Her water has just broke and she is now in labour. As she begins to push, the doctor asks if the father should be present. She answers “I’m not really sure who the father is. You see, I was having a hard time paying for my college tuition. To make some quick c...

The electoral college needs to go away.

The tuition rates are out of control.

She actually said that?

A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night... My daughter walked into the living room and said, ‘Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window; take my TV, and my laptop. Please take any of my...

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