UPJOKE
restrictmaximumboundaryboundminimumlimitationconfinedefinerestrainreduceconstrainrestrictioncutoffcurbdelimit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

   The first mathematician orders a beer 

The second orders half a beer 

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies 

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2 

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender r...

What is the difference between stupidity and genius?

"What is the difference between stupidity and genius? Genius has its limits."
-- Albert Einstein

Playstation has no limits...

But I was thinking... maybe they should?

Like, at least they could limit ps5 purchases to just 1 per person‽

I'd be OK with that...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The next one says, “I’ll have half of what he ordered”. The next mathematician says the same thing, and so on. After a couple of orders the bartender slams two beers down on the counter and says, “know you’re limits!”

LongAn attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"...

Term Limits

I believe in term limits because my vocabulary isn't that big

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was a dark and rainy night…..

Our hero’s car had broken down right in front of an old looking mansion.

After knocking, an old Chinese man came to the door. “ I was wondering if it’s at all possible you might have a room for me for the night. I will be out of your hair the next morning and on my way to the service stati...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During a public school conference...

A teacher and set of parents make acquaintances and settle at a group of tables with the student.

The teacher asks the student, "So, are these your progenitors?"

The parents are horrified, and demand to know why the teacher would ask such a question.

The teacher responds, "I apo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A math professor, Dave, has a problem with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

22 mph speed limit

Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the darkest joke you know? No limits who can disgust me the most?

Best part of fucking 21 year olds?
Theres 20 of them

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.