Why cant Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone...

Because he's dead

I cant believe they are going to arrest me for impersonating a politician

I just literally did nothing.

Cant make jokes about vacation to americans

Cause they dont get it

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Why cant dinosaurs clap?

Because they're fucking dead.

A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, yo...

What part of a vegetable cant you eat?

The wheelchair

A guy wants a divorce. He tells the judge "I cant take it anymore she's out going from bar to bar every night way past midnight"

The judge responds "what's she doing"

The guy says "looking for me"


I cant spell armegedon.

Oh well it's not the end of the world.

Why cant a bycicle stand on its own?

It was two tired

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Why cant a penis be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

Sure, white people cant say they "N" word

but atleast we can say phrases like " thanks for the warning, officer" and "hey dad"

why cant the bad sailor learn the alphabet

because he always got lost at C.

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