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Why cant Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone...

Because he's dead

Why cant orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that 80% of men cant fall asleep after sex?

Because they still have to drive home to their wife.

A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, y...

Cant make jokes about vacation to americans

Cause they dont get it

There was a guy in a hospital, and finally woke up.

The guy said, “damn i cant feel my legs.” The doctor said to him, “well thats because we amputated your arms.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnnie is in the living room playing with his train set…

when his mom overheard him in the kitchen yelling “alright you sonsabitches! Everyone headed westbound to Memphis, get your asses to platform number 9! And for all you motherfuckers going eastbound to Raleigh, head your big asses to platform number 10!”

Mom comes in fuming…

“JOHNNIE!! ...

What kind of fruit can't just run off and get married.

A Cantaloupe!

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