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Brink Jokes

A couple are on the brink of an argument

Finally, at her wits end, the girlfriend shouts in an exasperated voice "Can you stop being a flamingo for one goddamn second?"

He had to put his foot down.

My dentist told me I'm right on the brink of having tooth decay

He said the situation was precarious.

In the age of streaming, I don't get why I have to watch re-runs from the 60/70s whenever I turn on the TV

Inflation going rampant, NASA going to the moon, Russia/US on the brink of war.....

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I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

They say that if you do what you love, the money will follow.

And it's true: I love driving a Brink's truck.

So, tensions with Russia flair up...

... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 ye...

A drover walks into a pub...

A drover walks into a pub and orders 3 beers. He drinks a sip of each in turn. When he finish he orders 3 more.

The bartender says,”You know, a beer goes flat after I pour it. They taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cattleman replies, “Well, you see, I’ve 2 brothers overse...

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A newly-wed couple goes to Jamaica for their honeymoon...

A few days before the wedding, the husband got his fiancee's name, Wendy, tattooed on his dick as a surprise on their trip. When soft it only shows "WY"

One day, the husband needs to take a piss before leaving a restaurant.

As he's pissing, a local black man walks in to piss as well, ...

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All of the organs of the body ...

All of the organs of the body got together to decide who should be their leader. The brain made it's argument first: "I am the center of consciousness and all thought. Clearly, I'm best suited for the job." Then the heart spoke up: "Regardless of how brilliant the thought or idea may be, without hea...

Magnificent Niagara

I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was... "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, etc. etc.' It eventually became very annoying.


I am from Niagara Falls and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Magn...

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So these two guys get stranded in the desert...

So these two guys get stranded in the desert, their car is broken down, they are out of water and help is no where in sight... Except for a shack in the distance. So the two make their way to the shack and knock. An old, ugly, wrinkly, greasy woman answers the door. It smells like she hasn't showere...

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You see that wall?

A group of vampire bats are hanging out in a cave. All the food in the area is gone and they are the brink of starving to death. One of the bats decides leave to look for food out of desperation. He comes back 30 minutes later and has blood on his face. The other bats are very curious and ask him re...

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A guy walks into a bar...

with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. The monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender starts screaming at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball of my pool table ...

TIL of an odd political problem in Colorado.

Cattle has long been the number one agricultural product of Colorado, but the recent legalization of marijuana is causing significant and unforeseen problems.

Apparently, cows love marijuana as much as people, and cattle ranches and nearby marijuana farms are on the brink of open warfare. Co...

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A lounge owner is looking for a new pianist...

A man comes in to audition for the owner. He asks, "Is it alright if I play an original piece?"

The owner says, "That's fine. Begin whenever you're ready."

The man plays a beautiful score. The owner is so moved and overcome with emotion he can barely contain himself. When the pianist f...

A woman is in a bar..

She is walking out of the women's bathroom when this man grabs her arm and says "wow youre beautiful" the woman smiles, then the man adds "id love to drink Guinness from your minge" disgusted the woman storms back to her husband who is sat on the over side of the bar. "You wont believe what that gu...

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Fiat vs Ferrari

So on a nice and sunny Sunday afternoon Jim is taking his LaFerrari for a Spin on the Highway. Driving along for a while when Jim spots a broken down Car on the side of the road, apparently having some issues. As Jim is passing he realizes the Car is a Old Fiat 500.

Chuckling to Himself abou...

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3 men are lost in the desert...

and on the brink of death, they desperately pray to God for help. Suddenly, the skies open up, and a booming voice comes down from the heavens.

"I will do this for you three men: Run up that sand dune in front of you, and when you reach the top, yell out something you want to turn into, and...

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The king of a very rich kingdom wants his daughter to get married...

...but she is a very particular girl and only wants to marry the most courageous man in the kingdom.

Wanting to see his daughter happy the king sets up a test that any man in the kingdom could come and try to beat: The Pit of Doom. A huge square pit is dug right outside the palace and filled ...

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Three men walking through a desert: a very dirty joke !

So there were three men walking through a desert, no food or water, when they come across an old, decrepit house. They knock on the door in hopes to find someone kind enough to spare some food and water. The person that answered was a vile, disgusting, and unsanitary old woman. It smells and looks a...

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In honor of the papal visit, I submit the worst, longest, most tortuous pope joke I know.

It's 1969.

China and the Soviet Union are on the brink of open hostilities. The war would kill us all. And only the pope can save the day.

Well, so thinks Richard Nixon.

See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he...

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The corniest dirty joke ever

There are three guys lost in the desert. They have been wandering around for weeks, and are somehow still alive, yet they are on the brink of death. They crawl over a sand dune and all stop, staring into the distance with their mouths agape.

"Do you see that?" the first guy says. "Yup," the o...

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