The doctor said I should stop eating meat immediately for health reasons...
I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.
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What's it called when a vegetarian starts eating meat again?
Losing your veginity.
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Why do Vegans always go back to eating meat?
Because they finally see their missed-steak.
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One day two accountants, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. One was a Hindu and constantly berated the other for eating meat!
After stopping for a hot dog, the Hindu erupted "Why do you eat meat?, Do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what you eat!"
The American replied "I am what I eat, an uncontrollable vicious animal (beating his chest)"
As they stepped off the curb a speeding car ca...
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Late Lent/Easter Joke
Eino, a Finn from Cook County in northern Minnesota, was an older, single gentleman who was born and raised a Lutheran. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.
Now, all of Eino’s neighbors were Catholic…..and since it was Lent, they were forb...
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So, get this. My friend was over at my house the other day for dinner, and starts screaming at me "Eating meat is murder!"
Or she may have been screaming "Eating me is murder!" It's hard to hear through the oven.
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A catholic missionary is baptizing people in a river near an African village.
He pushes Mutombo under water and raises him again. Then he tells him: "You are now Christian, and so you are no longer called Mutombo, you are now Joseph. Oh and one more thing. Since you are Christian, you are no longer allowed to eat meat on fridays. "
The next friday, the priest...
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An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.
This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message...
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A vegan once told me.....
A vegan once told me that eating meat was gross..... I then replied a man who sells fruit and vegetables is grocer.
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A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization.
A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization. Due to a tragic experience as a child, he refuses to eat meat; he says the idea of eating what was once a living animal disgusts him and he could never enjoy eating meat. According to his ma...
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Found a loophole in veganism
Eating meat from an animal that was in a coma is perfectly vegan because the animal is technically a vegetable.
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A conversation between God and Moses at the top of Mt. Sinai.....
God: And remember Moses, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother's milk.
Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together.
God: No, what I'm saying is, never cook a calf in its mother's milk.
Moses: Oh, Lord forgive my ignora...
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You are now fish!
Catholics don't eat meat during the 40 days of lent. Now it so happened a Muslim carpenter moved into a catholic area. Now this guy loved his barbeque and he'd be out in his garden almost daily to enjoy his afternoon feast. Now lent started and the smoky smell wafting from his garden had many people...
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I tried to be vegetarian
But eating meat is so good, that even some plants do
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