“To be is to do”—Socrates. “To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.

“Do be do be do”—King Louie

Socrates the philosopher . . .

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a mom...

To do is to be - Socrates

To be is to do - Plato

Do be do be do - Sinatra

Socrates told us to question everything...

But why should we question everything?

Who is Socrates’s worst student?

Mediocrities

Who was his busiest?

The one with a lot on his Plato

Socrates once said the love of pedagogy should inspire all those that teach to do so without compensation

He was later poisoned by the Greek Teachers Union

I told my son I was named after Socrates, but he didn't believe me because my name is Jim...

Well, I wasn't named before Socrates!

What did Socrates' dentist study?

Flossophy

Do you want to hear a joke about Socrates?

Why?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "D...

Socrates on jokes...

Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.

Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.

Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of said joke?

Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.

Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is abo...

What gym did Socrates go to?

The Y.

Socrates' Beloved

Socrates beloved dog died. He went to his Greek priest and asked if he could arrange a regular church service for his dearly departed. The priest was outraged and berated the parishioner for suggesting his dog receive holy services. Dismayed, Socrates turned away mumbling, ‘Now what am I to do with ...

What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?

A flossopher!

To Do is to Be

To Do is to Be
-Socrates

To Be is to Do
-Plato

Do Be Do Be Do
-Sinatra

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats

* Newton said he'd drop in.
* Socrates said he'd think about it.
* Ohm resisted the idea.
* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
* Volta was electrified at the prospect.
* Pavlov pos...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mathematician, a philosopher, and an idiot arrive at the pearly gates...

...St. Peter says to them" Sorry, heaven is quite full, so we can only let one of you in."
Suddenly "Poof!" Lucifer appears.
Lucifer tells them "You may each ask me one question. If you are able to ask me a question that I cannot answer, you will be allowed into heaven; if not you will be sen...

Philosophy Convention

All the world's greatest philosophers are gathering in France for the largest philosophy convention ever. Socrates, Descartes, Kant, etc have all made their way to Paris and checked into their rooms. Aristotle's invitation was lost in the time-travel post office and he didn't get the invitation unti...

3 men die and meet outside the pearly white gates of heaven.

(This joke is an adaptation, made from [these](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2yw7dl/a_blonde_and_a_lawyer/) two [jokes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1op0wo/so_3_men_die_and_go_to_heaven/).)

the 3 men; A Physicist, a Philosopher and a Local town idiot stand before the gate...

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