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A guy walks into a bar with an emu and a cat.

He sits down at the bar, looks at the emu and says "Emu, want a drink?"

Emu replies: Yeah I'll have a drink!

He turns to the cat and says "Cat, want a drink?"

Cat says "Yeah I'll have a drink, but I'm not fucking paying!"

The man orders 3 beers, the bartender says "That'l...

Why did the emu lose all his friends when he grew a few feet taller?

Because he was ostrich sized.

have you heard about the emu who was kicked out of the emu gang?

he was ostrich-sized.

They say history is written by the victors....

But I've never seen an emu write before.

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An Aussie truck driver walks into an outback cafe with a full grown emu.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a beer please,’ and turns to his pal. ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. ‘That’ll be $9.40 please.’ He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo...

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So, A man walks into bar with a cat in a pringles tube and an emu...

The bartender asks where he got an emu.

"I was down in india, doing a bit of vacationing, when I found an oil lamp lying by the side of the road. Naturally, I rubbed it, and a genie popped out! That's how I got these here animals."

"You wished for a cat and an emu?" the bartender a...

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I bought an emu to ride to work.

One day I clocked out and saw my emu had been stolen. I called the police and they asked me to describe my emu, "does it have any distinguishing marks or features?" they asked. "Yes, it has a crazy asshole." I replied. "A crazy asshole? What does that mean?" they questioned to which I replied "I'm n...

How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.

For over 30,000 years humans gave social "likes" by sharing beads made from ostrich eggs.

I guess you might call them emu-jis.

Trying my own jokes.

I went to see my father as I wanted to borrow some money to start my own business. I told him about my idea to start an emu farm as I wanted to make decorative eggs to sell at the craft market. He was quite puzzled and responded with " emus... Nah, they'll never take off"

What do you call a digital cow?

An Emu

What did the ornithologist say about the depressed bird?

It's just a little emu

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