UPJOKE
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Emu Jokes

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A guy walks into a bar with an emu and a cat.

He sits down at the bar, looks at the emu and says "Emu, want a drink?"

Emu replies: Yeah I'll have a drink!

He turns to the cat and says "Cat, want a drink?"

Cat says "Yeah I'll have a drink, but I'm not fucking paying!"

The man orders 3 beers, the bartender says "That'l...

Why did the emu lose all his friends when he grew a few feet taller?

Because he was ostrich sized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks happily into a car dealership with an emu.

A salesman walks up to the man and asks, "Can I help you?" The man replies, "I would like to buy your most expensive car." Humoring the man with the emu, the salesman leads him over to a Bentley and says, "This model costs 204,572.99 dollars." Without missing a beat, the man reaches into his pocket ...

have you heard about the emu who was kicked out of the emu gang?

he was ostrich-sized.

They say history is written by the victors....

But I've never seen an emu write before.

Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback.

Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback when an emu walked up to them.

One of the men was thrilled to see an emu so close up. The other man was more hesitant, for he read that emus can be very aggressive and hostile.

The man started to yell at the emu, "Go away, you big, fat, st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Aussie truck driver walks into an outback cafe with a full grown emu.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a beer please,’ and turns to his pal. ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. ‘That’ll be $9.40 please.’ He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, A man walks into bar with a cat in a pringles tube and an emu...

The bartender asks where he got an emu.

"I was down in india, doing a bit of vacationing, when I found an oil lamp lying by the side of the road. Naturally, I rubbed it, and a genie popped out! That's how I got these here animals."

"You wished for a cat and an emu?" the bartender a...

Why do Australians laugh at flightless birds?

They find them Emu-sing

For over 30,000 years humans gave social "likes" by sharing beads made from ostrich eggs.

I guess you might call them emu-jis.

How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.

Trying my own jokes.

I went to see my father as I wanted to borrow some money to start my own business. I told him about my idea to start an emu farm as I wanted to make decorative eggs to sell at the craft market. He was quite puzzled and responded with " emus... Nah, they'll never take off"

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