This one is for you philosophy nerds. What do you call it when a middle aged woman takes a break from reading Plato dialogues?

Meno pause

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

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In one of my philosophy courses, the professor discussed the sex life of some famous ancient philosophers. Apparently, Plato was incredibly unlucky with the ladies.

Most of his relationships were platonic

Does anyone want to be in a platonic relationship?

I’m asking for a friend.

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.

“Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?”

“No,” Plato replied. “Bu...

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Plato is lecturing his students on the nature of change and how nothing is ever constant.

To drive his point home, he asks his students to give him an example of something definite.
"Master," says the first, "the leaves on the trees are definitely green."
"Not true," answers Plato, "for they can appear brown, yellow, or orange in the autumn months."
"Master," says the second, "t...

Ancient Humor

Once Plato said "Humans are nothing but featherless bipeds". To this, Diogenes came running with a plucked chicken and said "Behold! A man"

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

To Do is to Be

To Do is to Be
-Socrates

To Be is to Do
-Plato

Do Be Do Be Do
-Sinatra

Who is Socrates’s worst student?

Mediocrities

Who was his busiest?

The one with a lot on his Plato

To do is to be - Socrates

To be is to do - Plato

Do be do be do - Sinatra

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A man is dating three women and is trying to decide which to marry. He gives each of them $5,000 to see what they do with the money.

The first has a total makeover. She goes to a fancy salon, gets hair, nails, and face done, and buys several new outfits. She tells him she has done this to be more attractive to him because she loves him so much.

The second buys the man a number of gifts. She gets him a new set of golf club...

Socrates Gossip

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students...?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you t...

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A man walks in a bar with his dog...

....and the bartender warns him: “I'm sorry pal, you can't bring your dog in.”

The man thinks for a while and says: “Oh, this is just my seeing-eye dog. I'd better not split up with him”.

The bartender says OK and the man enjoys a few beers. Then he goes out and sees another man also...

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One time there was two farmers

One time there was two farmers that lived out on the road to Plato, Missouri. They was always good friends, and Biil’s oldest boy had been a-charmin’ one of Sam’s daughters. Everything was going fine till the morning they met down by the creek, and Sam was pretty god damn mad. “Bill,” says he, “from...

I know a Spanish philosopher and he lives in my kitchen...

His name is Plato.

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato

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