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Plato Jokes

Plato didn't have a wife or kids..

Clearly, all his relationships were platonic.

Plato absentmindedly bumps into someone walking down the street.

He hands him a book and says, "Please accept my Apology".

Why did prostitues in 330 BCE hate Plato?

Historians have found that this uproar was due to his teachings being too Thot-provoking

What'll happen if you read too much Plato?

You become Platonic

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

This one is for you philosophy nerds. What do you call it when a middle aged woman takes a break from reading Plato dialogues?

Meno pause

Triple Filter

In ancient Greece, Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day, the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pa...

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.

“Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?”

“No,” Plato replied. “Bu...

Nietzsche runs into Plato in the afterlife...

Plato seemed to be going somewhere so Nietzsche hailed him.

"Where are you going Plato?" he asked.

"I'm going to see the void beyond the boundaries of all existence" Plato answered.

Nietzsche was taken aback by this. "Don't do it Plato!" he begged, "When you gaze long into the a...

A priest, a rabbi, and Socrates walk into a bar.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says "God, I hope this joke isn't written by Plato."

Quotes

"to do is to be" Plato
"to be is to do" Aristotle
"do be do be do" Frank Sinatra

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

To Do is to Be

To Do is to Be
-Socrates

To Be is to Do
-Plato

Do Be Do Be Do
-Sinatra

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Plato is lecturing his students on the nature of change and how nothing is ever constant.

To drive his point home, he asks his students to give him an example of something definite.
"Master," says the first, "the leaves on the trees are definitely green."
"Not true," answers Plato, "for they can appear brown, yellow, or orange in the autumn months."
"Master," says the second, "t...

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

Who is Socrates’s worst student?

Mediocrities

Who was his busiest?

The one with a lot on his Plato

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One time there was two farmers

One time there was two farmers that lived out on the road to Plato, Missouri. They was always good friends, and Biil’s oldest boy had been a-charmin’ one of Sam’s daughters. Everything was going fine till the morning they met down by the creek, and Sam was pretty god damn mad. “Bill,” says he, “from...

I know a Spanish philosopher and he lives in my kitchen...

His name is Plato.

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato

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