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Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire.

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. The barista asks each of them why they think the empire is falling.

Aristotle gives a powerful speech about how the empire has failed to live up to its telos and deconstructs the very nature of what an em...

Plato didn't have a wife or kids..

Clearly, all his relationships were platonic.

Why did prostitues in 330 BCE hate Plato?

Historians have found that this uproar was due to his teachings being too Thot-provoking

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

Plato absentmindedly bumps into someone walking down the street.

He hands him a book and says, "Please accept my Apology".

What'll happen if you read too much Plato?

You become Platonic

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.

“Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?”

“No,” Plato replied. “Bu...

Triple Filter

In ancient Greece, Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day, the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pa...

Quotes

"to do is to be" Plato
"to be is to do" Aristotle
"do be do be do" Frank Sinatra

A priest, a rabbi, and Socrates walk into a bar.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says "God, I hope this joke isn't written by Plato."

Diogenes' thug Life

Plato was discoursing on his theory of ideas and, pointing to the cups on the table before him, said while there are many cups in the world, there is only one `idea’ of a cup, and this cupness precedes the existence of all particular cups. 


“I can see the cups on the table,” said Diogenes...

This one is for you philosophy nerds. What do you call it when a middle aged woman takes a break from reading Plato dialogues?

Meno pause

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Plato is lecturing his students on the nature of change and how nothing is ever constant.

To drive his point home, he asks his students to give him an example of something definite.
"Master," says the first, "the leaves on the trees are definitely green."
"Not true," answers Plato, "for they can appear brown, yellow, or orange in the autumn months."
"Master," says the second, "t...

To Do is to Be

To Do is to Be
-Socrates

To Be is to Do
-Plato

Do Be Do Be Do
-Sinatra

Who is Socrates’s worst student?

Mediocrities

Who was his busiest?

The one with a lot on his Plato

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

Little Timmy always procrastinated his schoolwork

A few weeks ago, his teacher assigned the class to write a 10,000 word paper on a great philosopher, but with just 12 hours until the paper was due, Little Timmy had not written a single word. Realizing his predicament, Little Timmy hastily took a pencil out of his drawer and sat down in front of bl...

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One time there was two farmers

One time there was two farmers that lived out on the road to Plato, Missouri. They was always good friends, and Biil’s oldest boy had been a-charmin’ one of Sam’s daughters. Everything was going fine till the morning they met down by the creek, and Sam was pretty god damn mad. “Bill,” says he, “from...

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