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Did you know “Vegetarian” is a Native American word?

It means “Lousy Hunter”


I am Native American and this joke has been told to me a couple of times. Thought I’d share.

"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian."

Is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

People that don't eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don't eat vegetables?

constipated

If God wanted us to be vegetarians…

Why did he make the animals out of meat?

Where do vegetarian vampires live?

Plantsylvania.

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Graiiiiiiiiiiiiinsss

What do vegetarians say when they meet someone new?

Nice to vegetable you

I'm a new person. I've changed my name and became a vegetarian .

I'm still getting used to it, I wasn't a herb before.

What do you call a morbidly obese vegetarian?

Megafauna.

So you are becoming a vegetarian?

That is a big missed steak.

To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian?

….Gatherer

Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?

Because his doctor said stakes were bad for his heart.

source: My 7 year-old.

I had to give up my vegetarian diet.

Turns out they’re a lot harder to catch than cows.

Why dont Vegetarians ever get to eat any pudding?

If they dont eat their meat, they cant have their pudding.

Why did Han Solo become a vegetarian?

Because the last steak he ate was really Chewy.

I was lucky to get sent to an all Vegetarian prison

They never toy with fresh meat.

If we were meant to be vegetarians

then why do cats taste like chicken?

Pessimists are like German vegetarians.

They fear the wurst.

I love my vegetarian-only diet.

Lambs, Cows, Deers, Rabbits. They're all vegetarians and they're delicious!!

What do vegetarian dingoes eat

Cabbage patch kids

Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother...

His name was Broco Lee.

I was out on a first date and the lady asked me if I was more of a cat person or a dog person.

I said "I'm a vegetarian."

How to kill vegetarian vampire?

Just with a steak to the heart.

Why did the astronaut throw away his vegetarian burger?

He wanted something *meteor*.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that a piece of meat makes them happy.

My friend really changed after she became a vegetarian

It's almost like I have never seen herbivore

What did the vegetarian say when they were stranded with a flat tire?

Should have brought asparagus.

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet I knew it wasn't going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.

I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she asked for a bite of my kabab.

Mary had a little lamb.

Vegetarianism changes everything

A vegetarian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Since I became a vegetarian it has really changed everything in my life, Even my music choices." the guy tells the bartender. "I've found Robert Plant to be a great alternative to Meatloaf."

Why do vegetarians look for dates at the hospital?

Because they are into vegetables.

If two vegetarians are having an argument,

is it really considered beef?

I make vegetarian thanksgivings dinners

They're called chive turkeys

Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers?

The celery was unacceptable!

I once considered going vegetarian

But then I realized it would be a huge missed steak

My non-vegetarian friend told me to eat chicken, it's very healthy.

I said no, it WAS healthy but you ate it.

I tried to open a restaurant that offers faster seating to vegetarians...

But this created too many upset steakholders

I like making jokes about vegetarians...

but never about tofu, that's just tasteless.

A Young Vulture is sick of eating dead things and wants to be a vegetarian...

So he asks his parents whether they can start incorporating some vegetables into their meals.

His father is ashamed of him and says 'No'.

So the young vulture asks if he could bring a carrot to dinner and his mother and father tell him that he is a disgrace to the family and to put the...

This girl told me today that she recognised me from Vegetarian Club.

I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did a vegetarian do to fuck up?

They made a misteak

I'm taking baby steps towards being a vegetarian

But only when I'm not eating

I mixed up the Pizza Hut app and Grindr.

There is a 10” vegetarian with extra cheese on the way over and I’m not sure what to expect….

Q: What did the Vegetarian Preacher say to his church?

A: Lettuce pray!

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?



A salad shooter.

Permits required A woman from Sydney who was a tree hugging, vegetarian and anti-hunter purchased a piece of native bush land in northern N.S.W.

There was a large gum tree on one of the highest points in her property.

She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big gum.

As she neared the top, she encountered a koala that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the t...

I fell in love with a dyslexic vegetarian

It's going great but she refuses to meat me

The vegetarian did not like the new strawberry jelly...

It just wasn’t his jam

I don’t understand why people don’t seem to get along with vegetarians.

I have never had a beef with one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My vegetarian friend

My vegetarian friend believes that animals don't deserve to just die for our food, and she always lectures everybody about it. One day, I caught her having a Carribean takeaway, which was clearly chicken, so I did what she would've done and started going on about how that chicken didn't deserve to d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anyone hear about the transsexual lion that became a vegetarian?

He was a her before.

I recently started an all vegetarian diet

The hardest part is catching them.

My vegetarian wife wanted the egg smell gone from the pan in which I cooked scrambled egg

So i cooked beef in it.

If I had to choose, I think I'd rather be a Vegetarian Vampire.

Beets the alternative.

How many vegetarians does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger?

One, if no one's looking.

What did Darth Vader say when he went to a vegetarian restaurant?

"I find your lack of steak disturbing."

[NSFW] Why do vegetarians have in common with straight men?

They prefer their buns with no wiener.

What's the name of Bruce Lee's vegetarian cousin?

BrocoLee

Being a vegetarian is easy, I eat oatmeal for breakfast

and the rest of the day I survive off my feelings of superiority

Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they are used to eating nuts

Do you know how to make a good vegetarian chili?

Stick her in the freezer.

What did the vegetarian body builder say after he found out he was gluten intolerant?

There ain't no whey!

What do Native Americans call vegetarians?

One who is bad at hunting

What do you call an epileptic vegetarian?

Seizure salad

I have nothing against vegetarianism

my best friend is a vegetable

Being a vegetarian in Germany is so difficult.

It’s the wurst.

A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization.

A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization. Due to a tragic experience as a child, he refuses to eat meat; he says the idea of eating what was once a living animal disgusts him and he could never enjoy eating meat. According to his ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I'm cooking, I always make sure to have vegetarian options...

They can make do or they can fuck off.

Do you know what the hardest part of becoming a vegetarian is?

To quit cold turkey.

A vegetarian lady looked at my mutton curry and said, "You know, a sheep died so you could have that."

I looked at her salad and responded, "Maybe she died because you keep eating all her food!!"

Regular zombies say "braaaaaiiiins". What do vegetarian zombies say?

"Graaaiiiins"

Do vegetarians prefer moons or asteroids?

Moons, because asteroids are are a little meteor.

(Made up for my kids today)
#dadjoke #sorry

My grammar has suffered since I became a vegetarian

I mistakes.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, would it still be called a beef?

Not sure, depends on what's at steak.

How do you punish a vegetarian in the olden days?

You burn them at the steak

How did the vegetarian redditor cook her meat?

She didn't, because she likes it r/aww.

I tried to be vegetarian

But eating meat is so good, that even some plants do

How did the vegetarian get so fat when he only ate vegetables?

He worked at a hospital.

What is Middle-Eastern, vegetarian and turns lead into gold?

The falafel-er's stone

A man goes to a vegetarian bar

and realizes that it is a miss'd-steak

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