UPJOKE
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What do you think is history's SHORTEST joke? My submission is Miss Piggy's 2 worder :

"Pretentious? ...*MOI ?"*

Someone called me pretentious today.

I nearly choked on my honey-cardamom latte.

My wife just called me pretentious.

I was so surprised my monocle fell out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Santa, an honest lawyer and a frenchman who is not a pretentious wanker are in a lift.

Santa, an honest lawyer and a frenchman who is not a pretentious wanker are in a lift. A tenner is on the ground, who is picking it up. Santa! Remember kids, out of the three he is the only one who exists!

Where do pretentious people get water?

Well, _actually_.

My most pretentious joke.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

To whom.

My dog is so pretentious that...

... he only drinks Eau de Toilette.

"People always talk about how great Stephen Hawkins was. I always thought he was so pretentious. Born in London, but he always talked with that fake American accent...."

Credit- Ricky Gervais

What do you call a pretentious fish?

Super-fish-ial

Pretentious (OC)

It's not really fair for me to say because I don't know him very well but out of all the numbers I feel like 9 is the most pretentious.

What do you call a pretentious felon falling down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending

What does a pretentious owl say?

Whom whom.

What does the pretentious snob with amnesia say?

Do you know who I am?

Russian nesting dolls are so pretentious.

They're so full of themselves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a pretentious mime?

A dick in a box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All these reviews people are leaving in the comment section of pornhub

I just hope there’s a pretentious ratatouille style porn critic who sees that one video that sends him back to his childhood when he developed his very first kink

Why are hula dancers so pretentious?

Because their hips stir.

There’s this homeless vlogger called Nat Holm. He’s absolutely fantastic and shows you how to get the most out of life, even if you’re really poor!

But for some reason, every time I recommend his show to people, they look at me like I’m some massive pervert, and I have no idea why! I guess people are just so pretentious nowadays.

Anyway, go search for “Poor Nat Holm”. I watch “Poor Nat Holm” every day without fail, and I cannot get enou...

WWII, Eastern Front

Troops under the command of Baghramyan are the first to reach the Baltic. To present his success more pretentiously, the Armenian general personally poured a bottle of water from the Baltic Sea and ordered his adjutant to fly with this bottle to Moscow to Stalin. He flew. But a setback happened: whi...

I absolutely can not stand Brown people.

It's just that I had an ex graduate from there and she was super pretentious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two chemists walk into a bar

The Bartender asks what they want to drink

Chemist 1: I’ll have an H2O

Chemist 2: See this is why I fucking hate going out with you, you pretentious fuck. Just call it water.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Atheist and a Christian walk into a bar...

...they proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they're not pretentious assholes

The imgur community is essentially the reddit community's younger sister

She likes to think that she's edgier and smarter than you are, but she's really just obnoxious, pretentious, rude, and offensive

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