Where do pretentious people get water?

Well, _actually_.

Someone called me pretentious today.

I nearly choked on my honey-cardamom latte.

My dog is so pretentious that...

... he only drinks Eau de Toilette.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All these reviews people are leaving in the comment section of pornhub

I just hope there’s a pretentious ratatouille style porn critic who sees that one video that sends him back to his childhood when he developed his very first kink

What do you call a pretentious fish?

Super-fish-ial

My most pretentious joke.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

To whom.

Why are some books so pretentious

Because they all feel entitled

What do you call a pretentious felon falling down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending

Pretentious (OC)

It's not really fair for me to say because I don't know him very well but out of all the numbers I feel like 9 is the most pretentious.

What does the pretentious snob with amnesia say?

Do you know who I am?

Russian nesting dolls are so pretentious.

They're so full of themselves.

There’s this homeless vlogger called Nat Holm. He’s absolutely fantastic and shows you how to get the most out of life, even if you’re really poor!

But for some reason, every time I recommend his show to people, they look at me like I’m some massive pervert, and I have no idea why! I guess people are just so pretentious nowadays.

Anyway, go search for “Poor Nat Holm”. I watch “Poor Nat Holm” every day without fail, and I cannot get enou...

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What do you call a pretentious mime?

A dick in a box.

Why are hula dancers so pretentious?

Because their hips stir.

WWII, Eastern Front

Troops under the command of Baghramyan are the first to reach the Baltic. To present his success more pretentiously, the Armenian general personally poured a bottle of water from the Baltic Sea and ordered his adjutant to fly with this bottle to Moscow to Stalin. He flew. But a setback happened: whi...

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Two chemists walk into a bar

The Bartender asks what they want to drink

Chemist 1: I’ll have an H2O

Chemist 2: See this is why I fucking hate going out with you, you pretentious fuck. Just call it water.

I absolutely can not stand Brown people.

It's just that I had an ex graduate from there and she was super pretentious.

The imgur community is essentially the reddit community's younger sister

She likes to think that she's edgier and smarter than you are, but she's really just obnoxious, pretentious, rude, and offensive

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A Christian and an atheist walk into a bar.

They proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each other's company because they're not pretentious dicks.

Shortest joke ever?

"Pretentious? Moi?"

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