Where do pretentious people get water?

Well, _actually_.

Someone called me pretentious today.

I nearly choked on my honey-cardamom latte.

My dog is so pretentious that...

... he only drinks Eau de Toilette.

What do you call a pretentious fish?


"People always talk about how great Stephen Hawkins was. I always thought he was so pretentious. Born in London, but he always talked with that fake American accent...."

Credit- Ricky Gervais

Why are some books so pretentious

Because they all feel entitled

My most pretentious joke.

Knock knock.

Who's there?


To who?

To whom.

Pretentious (OC)

It's not really fair for me to say because I don't know him very well but out of all the numbers I feel like 9 is the most pretentious.

What does the pretentious snob with amnesia say?

Do you know who I am?

Russian nesting dolls are so pretentious.

They're so full of themselves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a pretentious mime?

A dick in a box.

Why are hula dancers so pretentious?

Because their hips stir.

WWII, Eastern Front

Troops under the command of Baghramyan are the first to reach the Baltic. To present his success more pretentiously, the Armenian general personally poured a bottle of water from the Baltic Sea and ordered his adjutant to fly with this bottle to Moscow to Stalin. He flew. But a setback happened: whi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two chemists walk into a bar

The Bartender asks what they want to drink

Chemist 1: I’ll have an H2O

Chemist 2: See this is why I fucking hate going out with you, you pretentious fuck. Just call it water.

I absolutely can not stand Brown people.

It's just that I had an ex graduate from there and she was super pretentious.

The imgur community is essentially the reddit community's younger sister

She likes to think that she's edgier and smarter than you are, but she's really just obnoxious, pretentious, rude, and offensive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Christian and an atheist walk into a bar.

They proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each other's company because they're not pretentious dicks.

Shortest joke ever?

"Pretentious? Moi?"

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