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Annoying Jokes

A really annoying loophole

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and...

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

What is white and annoying while having food?

An avalanche

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My annoying little cousin keeps bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed.

Well, joke’s on you, you little shit. I sleep in a real car.

As a woman it's annoying when men think they are better drivers

When I'm trying to park I don't need you to offer help every 20 minutes

What do you call an annoying teenager?

A minor inconvenience.

My wife asked if she has any annoying habits...

... and then she got all offended during the PowerPoint presentation

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What's the most annoying thing about carpenter porn?

The ads about hot shingles in your area.

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve.

He would complain about everything. One day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.

At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no.
...

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All of the suggested ads I'm seeing online today are for Viagra and it's frustrating and annoying.

I think they're just trying to get a rise out of me.

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What’s old, annoying and only fucks you twice a year?

Daylight savings time

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

In what state are babies less annoying?

Liquid

Annoying husband

Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet...
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.....

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing I'm a believer by The Monkees, because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

How do you get someone to do something annoying 18 times in a row?

>!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<

Annoying Mole

Mary looks out her kitchen window and sees that a mole has practically destroyed the back lawn, so she tells her husband, Paddy, to go out and kill it and to show no mercy. After ten minutes, Paddy comes back into the house with an evil grin on his face.

"So," says Mary, "did you drown the fe...

An annoying thing on reddit

It annoys me when people don’t proliferate on reddit.

Walking is super annoying to learn.

It always takes more than 2 steps to figure out.

I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car.

I opened the door and pushed her out.

What's the most annoying thing about being a necrophiliac?

Your girlfriend never returns your calls.

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

Do you know how annoying it is to drill small holes?

Only a little bit.

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A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

People say vegans are annoying

But I've never had any beef with them.

I just opened up a gym where my entire staff asks you a series of annoying questions every so often for the length of your stay.

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.

The carbon monoxide detector is getting really annoying

But hey, at least the kids are quiet

Why did the Earthling find the Mercurian so annoying?

They were sick of listening to them complain about first world problems

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

What did the annoyed doctor say to the annoying patient

Look man I'm losing my patience and if you keep doing this I'm gonna lose evan more

Pain is so annoying.

It really gets on my nerves.

Annoying a vegan...

...is like shooting fish in a barrel. Which annoys them even more

How to deal with annoying dog

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. She finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is s...

Thats annoying

Sister: what is a group of fly’s called?

Me and my dad: ANNOYING

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What is the most annoying thing after sex?

Hiding the dead body.

What do u call an annoying zen master from Hungary?

Buddhapest

I saw an article that said annoying people have a great sense of humor.

I found that really funny because- oh.

I think playwrights are really annoying.

They’re always making a scene.

Getting all that clay off you would be annoying

If you were a harry potter.

It's annoying how nothing is made in the USA anymore.

I just bought a TV, and it wrote "Built in Antenna" on the box.

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A woman and her annoying nephew entered a lawn bowling contest.

The sun was out, the grounds had been immaculately prepared and every retiree within city limits had turned out for the event. Pearl had to admit that she was feeling better about the day now that it had finally arrived.

A few weeks ago when her delinquent of a sister had foisted her awful...

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My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. [OC]

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. Whenever we are walking in public and he sees a girl he likes, he always says, “Look at that ass tho.”

After years of getting fed up with his comments, I decide to make him a sculpture for his birthday. I carved ...

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Man made climate change is really annoying me!

I wish the jerks that keep changing the climate would just set it at 70 degrees Fahrenheit year round and be done with it!

What do you call an annoying german kid?

A BratWurst

Most people find unnecessary acronyms annoying

But that's TBE

What's the most annoying kind of potato?

An agitator

My crush told me that I'm pretty.

Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying", but I focus only on the positive things.

The Ukranian Soldier

A Russian general hears someone shouting from the woods - "One Ukranian soldier is better than ten Russian". The angry general sends ten men to deal with the annoying Ukranian. After a short period of shots and screams, another shout is heard - "One Ukranian is better than a hundred Russians". The g...

Logical fallacies are annoying.

Therefore, people that don't know about them are annoying.

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My wife does this really annoying thing when she’s having sex…

…she calls me up.

What do you tell an annoying alcoholic?

Stop whining.

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Best pick up line to impress the ladies

“Damn, are you a car alarm? Because you’re really fucking loud and annoying”

Most annoying joke ever

A man dies and is sent to the first level of hell. There he sees two queues. He joins the back of one and asks what the queues are for. He is told one is for a glass of wine and the queue he joined for a leg of lamb. After a millennia he gets to the front and eats his lamb. Once finished a door open...

What's the most annoying type of person?

One who answers their own questions

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

I've come to learn that every groupchat has a separate, smaller groupchat, just without the annoying people.

If you think yours doesn't, then i have some bad news.

Android phone can be so annoying

Just received a notification that my bible needs update, for what exactly?
Has Adam eaten another apple.

Damn girl are you a smoke detector?

Because you're super annoying and won't shut up

Annoying husband

Wife: Ugh, you only hear what you want to hear!

Husband: Sure, I'd love a beer!

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Having big boobs is overrated

So, I myself have big boobs and I have no idea why people wish they had big boobs so badly. They're so annoying and don't look good and I've even been mocked for the size of my boobs. I wish I had small boobs and would happily exchange mine for smaller boobs, especially since I'm a dude.

We had an annoying kid named V in our school

Then we got a Vending machine.

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

What was the name of that really annoying scientist?

Isaac Nuisance

What's the most annoying thing on /r/jokes?

What's the most annoying thing on /r/jokes?

People who post the joke intro twice.

What do you call a loud annoying bee?

Cardi Bee

A policeman pulls a farmer over for speeding and proceeds to write him a ticket...

The farmer notices some flies buzzing around annoying the officer. The policeman is shooing flies more than he's writing.

The farmer says "I see you're being bothered by those circle flies."

The policeman says, "If that's what you call them, yes, they are somewhat annoying."

The...

Annoying Husband

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could heard deep into the night the old man would shout,"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and comeback and haunt you for the rest of...

How does Mrs. Claus describe her husband’s annoying laugh?

Ha ha ha

Where's the annoying neighbor you told me about? I don't see him anymore.

"Hes in the garden"

"Really? "

"Yeah, but you have to dig a bit."

My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. "Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them." It’s really annoying.

So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, "Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny?

The reposts on this app are getting annoying.

It's annoying because I've reddit all before.

Today, my teacher told everyone how annoying they are

She was in the staff break room

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My girlfriend and my sister have the same name its so annoying.

Everytime we have sex i think about my girlfriend .

What does an annoying pepper do

It gets jalepeno face.

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What do you call an annoying person who does anal?

A pain in the ass.

Having a mahogany breast would be annoying.

Wooden tit?

An Annoying Customer

There was a guy who for a living sells coffee and there is this one particular customer who always likes to humiliate him. He did this by ordering a $2.50 coffee with 10 cent coins and in doing so he throws the coins all over the counter, leaving the poor seller to pick up all the coins.

But ...

If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

What do you say to an annoying insect?

'Stop bugging me!'

What did the really annoying, attention craving person say?

"This"

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Bras are annoying:

They really get on my tits.

I am from the UK and have no idea whether this works in any other country at all.

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