Corny Jokes

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.

"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.

He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice agai... read more

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one Anna two.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

Why are farmers always the best, most awesome and inspiring people?





Because they're always outstanding in their field

Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

If nuns had a business building dams what would it be called

Nun ya dam business

It’s corny but I tried

I said I was going to do a chemistry joke next, but now I'm afraid of the reaction.

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

Some can be a real EAR full, but a few of them really POP

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.

Was loading semi trailers and it was raining like hell. Asked my team lead to step inside a trailer with me.

"Hey Billy, I keep hearing a weird noise every time I step in a trailer."

"What's it sound like?"

(While pointing at the roof) "It sounds like autotune."

"Autotune... read more

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!

Why should you never goose a ghost?


You might get a handful of sheet !

So a local state corn production and manufacturing company had an open house complete with free samples of their in house sweets and confectionery made from their finest corn.

The reception was fantastic and everything was going great, until one of the over zealous freeloaders (you know the ... read more

There were 3 aliens that just moved to Earth. None of them knew any English. One day they decided to take up different activities to learn the language.
One alien took a singing class and learned "me, me ,me ,meeee!"
The second alien took a cooking class and learned "Forks and knives, Forks an... read more

There is a kernel of truth.

A field of corn.

i promise you- they’re a-maize-ing!

Because they have so many Tels!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but Apri... read more

Tacos.

What do you call a chicken who counts it’s eggs?

A mathemachicken

I can’t be a comedian, you see.

They were the laughing stalk of the field

I'm all ears.

I'll give you an ear full : ^ )

What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

Who leads the corn into battle?
The kernal!
Bahahahaha

Once upon a time there were three brothers.

There names were Shadhap, Traboule and Mannars.

One day Traboule was lost so the two other brothers went to the police.

Then Mannars had to go to the washroom and told his brother to talk to the policeman.

The policeman asked, "... read more

Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

Then again, I was born in Indiana.

Aerial

Never mind I forgot the skewers.

***What is Mr. Corn's philosophy on life?***

Life is a maze.

You have to get ahead of lettuce!


Ahahahahaha!

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Yello?

but it turned out to be a level 5 course.

Corny, but I'm still proud of myself.

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

But he never finds them funny.

So I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes. It didn’t go over too well, I was asked to leave the orphanage.

My wife asked me to stop with the corny dad jokes. I was doing to do one about chemistry, but now I’m afraid of the reaction.

The bartender says, “Want to hear a corny joke?”

The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”

tear gas

But it's too corny

There was a country called Raberia, and all the people there were called Rabbis. There was this one Rabbi who wanted to go mountain climbing in this other country called Trideria, and all the people there were called Trids. So he hired two Trids to take him up the mountain and away they go. After a ... read more

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

son: if you eat a lot of bananas will that make you go bananas?
Dad: hmm maybe. Your brother eats a lot of corn and he’s corny. Your sister eats a lot of cheese and she’s cheesy. Your mother eats a lot of nuts and she’s nuts and I eat.. I guess you could say I’m a scaredy cat
Son: huh?
Da... read more

Because all the jokes i heard from vegetables were just too corny

...but the film quality was too grainy and the plot was very corny.

You have to be very blunt with them.

[corny joke alert]

A friend of mine, married, no children, told me a corny joke today.... a dad joke. The next day he found out his wife is pregnant.

Because she had bad blood !

( For all the people who can laugh at a corny Taylor Swift joke ) lol

My job does zoom meetings every day at 11, and tomorrow our ‘task’ is to come up with a corny joke. The cornier, the better. What do you got for me?

I can find jokes like this on google:
What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

But I really wanna blow peopl... read more

Because it's corny.

CoRnY

Now that I have your ear- there is no punchline. This has all just been a corny set up.

But it's too corny.

If you like dry humor though, I have a good one about Arizona!

She thinks i'm corny

I plan to call it the Amazing Maize Maze!
Apologies for the corny joke...

Because it was being stalked.

(sorry, that was bit corny.)

Wheres popcorn.

Sorry for the corny joke.

St Peter asks
"what was your job?"
"I was a Kernel before I got popped" it answers.
"in what army?" st Peter asks
And the corn answers in a husky voice: "the one that stalks maizes and takes ears".

I'm not sorry, just a little corny.

They said they were too *corny*

The bartender says we don't serve food here.
The mushroom says, why not? I'm a "fungi"

Corny dad joke I know, but its my favorite.

Go shuck yourself.


What did the mom say to her child walking through the cornfield?

Watch out for stalkers.


Sorry for all the corny jokes.

I was going to tell you a joke about Iowa but I thought it would be too corny;

Plus I doubt you’d *EAR* me anyway.





Q:Wanna know why most creeps live in Iowa?

A: Because they’re always stalking around


(These are all original jokes)

Corny uh?

Because they are so corny.

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.