does anyone wanna hear my corny jokes?

i promise you- they’re a-maize-ing!

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

Corny

If nuns had a business building dams what would it be called

Nun ya dam business

It’s corny but I tried

Thing about corny jokes...

Some can be a real EAR full, but a few of them really POP

A corny joke

I punched my monitor



Now my hand Hz

(Original corny joke) Why are Israelis so bad at poker?

Because they have so many Tels!

Corny Halloween

Why should you never goose a ghost?


You might get a handful of sheet !

My dad told this one to me and it’s really corny

What do you call a chicken who counts it’s eggs?

A mathemachicken

They told me “I’m corny”, I said “of corns not”

I can’t be a comedian, you see.

Here’s a sweet (But corny) joke!

Q: What do you call three packs of Twix?


A: Six.

In every corny joke,

There is a kernel of truth.

What is the difference between corn on the cob and corn off the cob?

Now that I have your ear- there is no punchline. This has all just been a corny set up.

My great-grandma told me this joke as a kid and it is by far my favorite kid-friendly joke of all time (I’m also aware of just how corny it is and I don’t care)

There was a country called Raberia, and all the people there were called Rabbis. There was this one Rabbi who wanted to go mountain climbing in this other country called Trideria, and all the people there were called Trids. So he hired two Trids to take him up the mountain and away they go. After a ...

My favorite corny joke ever.

There were 3 aliens that just moved to Earth. None of them knew any English. One day they decided to take up different activities to learn the language.
One alien took a singing class and learned "me, me ,me ,meeee!"
The second alien took a cooking class and learned "Forks and knives, Forks an...

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.

They were the laughing stalk of the field

Corny Peanuts.

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.

"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.

He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice agai...

Any food allergies in the Audience?

Because this is gonna get a little Corny, and a little Nutty….

Anyone care to explain how some jokes can be corny?

I'm all ears.

What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

CoRnY

Wanna know what's really corny?

A field of corn.

Suicide gone wrong [CORNY]

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

Corny joke

So a local state corn production and manufacturing company had an open house complete with free samples of their in house sweets and confectionery made from their finest corn.

The reception was fantastic and everything was going great, until one of the over zealous freeloaders (you know the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just a compilation of 10 corny jokes that still make me chuckle.

1. What was wrong with the wooden car with wooden wheels?
It "wooden" go!

2. Why can't a dick be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot

3. A guy walks into the doctors office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ass. The doc takes one look and he says, "It looks like w...

(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?

Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

I need some help with some really corny jokes....

I'm in need of some clever and creative corny jokes (example....what's brown and sticky? A stick) Keep in mind they need to be clean and appropriate for elementary students. Thank y'all!

My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Aerial

I heard you guys like corny jokes

I'll give you an ear full : ^ )

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but Apri...

I want to tell a joke about polenta

but I don't want it to be too corny

Two corny jokes

Why did the farmer standing in the field call 911?

He thought he was being stalked.


Why did the corn go to the doctor?

It had an ear infection.

So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

Speaking of corny jokes: how do you win a race against vegetables?

You have to get ahead of lettuce!


Ahahahahaha!

Want to hear a corny joke??

Then please, lend me your ear.

Old corny joke from my childhood.

Once upon a time there were three brothers.

There names were Shadhap, Traboule and Mannars.

One day Traboule was lost so the two other brothers went to the police.

Then Mannars had to go to the washroom and told his brother to talk to the policeman.

The policeman asked, "...

It's kinda corny...

What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

My cousin, a Shoprite cashier, asked a customer "how many ears do you have in that bag", the customer counted and said "8", My cousin then replied "I was going to say you must have really good hearing, but I thought that would have been too corny!"

She claims she thought of this on the spot, I thought the double pun was pretty damn clever!

A bit of corn tries to get into heaven

St Peter asks
"what was your job?"
"I was a Kernel before I got popped" it answers.
"in what army?" st Peter asks
And the corn answers in a husky voice: "the one that stalks maizes and takes ears".

I'm not sorry, just a little corny.

[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone?

Yello?

Get ready for a corny joke!

***What is Mr. Corn's philosophy on life?***

Life is a maze.

a little corny but here it goes...what can u make with onions and baked beans?

tear gas

Original Corny Joke

Who leads the corn into battle?
The kernal!
Bahahahaha

Corny Joke I Heard On The Radio

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Warning... Corny level is over 9000... What do you call a billionaire fish?

A gillionaire

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's 5Q + 5Q?

10Q

You're welcome.


Just a corny ass joke from my childhood. It gets a laugh 60% of the time, every time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that McDonald's and police use the same training material.

It's a 5 step de-escalation procedure. You know, a kind that some corporate HR would come up. Ones with corny, forced acronyms. But this one actually works pretty well:

1. Believe
2. Listen
3. Apologize
4. Satisfy
5. Thank the customer

So when a customer gets all pissy abou...

So I work in a food store

I was told my jokes were a little cheesy before but I think their gouda. I moved to grocery and now their just corny. I just hope they aren’t jarring.

Reposts versus retellings. (Not a joke)

I just wanted to make a quick PSA about jokes.

Jokes are meant to be retold. A good joke gets told a thousand times, and spreads like a virus. Like a virus a joke will often mutate and change as it passes from person to person, often tweaked for better performance.

Now, what is the dif...

Iowa

I was going to tell you a joke about Iowa but I thought it would be too corny;

Plus I doubt you’d *EAR* me anyway.





Q:Wanna know why most creeps live in Iowa?

A: Because they’re always stalking around


(These are all original jokes)

Why did the corn cross the road ?

Because it was being stalked.

(sorry, that was bit corny.)

In need of your CORNIEST joke

My job does zoom meetings every day at 11, and tomorrow our ‘task’ is to come up with a corny joke. The cornier, the better. What do you got for me?

I can find jokes like this on google:
What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

But I really wanna blow peopl...

I want to open a new labrynth in a cornfield

I plan to call it the Amazing Maize Maze!
Apologies for the corny joke...

I would tell you a joke about Nebraska

But it's too corny.

If you like dry humor though, I have a good one about Arizona!

I bought my girlfriend vegetables on valentine's day

She thinks i'm corny

What did mammy corn say to baby corn when daddy didn't come home?????

Wheres popcorn.

Sorry for the corny joke.

What did the farmer say to the corn that was being difficult?

Go shuck yourself.


What did the mom say to her child walking through the cornfield?

Watch out for stalkers.


Sorry for all the corny jokes.

Someone was complaining about my farm jokes.

They said they were too *corny*

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