UPJOKE
unoriginalplatitudinousbromidicplatitudinaltritesillysappycheesydumbglibhokeypretentiousgoofyoverwroughtcampy

Corny Peanuts.

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.

"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.

He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice agai...

another corny joke

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one Anna two.

heres another corny joke

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

My wife asked me to stop with the corny dad jokes

I said I was going to do a chemistry joke next, but now I'm afraid of the reaction.

A corny "dad joke" about farmers

Why are farmers always the best, most awesome and inspiring people?





Because they're always outstanding in their field

another corny joke

Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

heres another corny joke

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!

Corny

If nuns had a business building dams what would it be called

Nun ya dam business

It’s corny but I tried

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

Thing about corny jokes...

Some can be a real EAR full, but a few of them really POP

another corny joke

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.

Corny joke from a warehouse worker.

Was loading semi trailers and it was raining like hell. Asked my team lead to step inside a trailer with me.

"Hey Billy, I keep hearing a weird noise every time I step in a trailer."

"What's it sound like?"

(While pointing at the roof) "It sounds like autotune."

"Autotune...

Suicide gone wrong [CORNY]

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

does anyone wanna hear my corny jokes?

i promise you- they’re a-maize-ing!

Corny Halloween

Why should you never goose a ghost?


You might get a handful of sheet !

Corny joke

So a local state corn production and manufacturing company had an open house complete with free samples of their in house sweets and confectionery made from their finest corn.

The reception was fantastic and everything was going great, until one of the over zealous freeloaders (you know the ...

My favorite corny joke ever.

There were 3 aliens that just moved to Earth. None of them knew any English. One day they decided to take up different activities to learn the language.
One alien took a singing class and learned "me, me ,me ,meeee!"
The second alien took a cooking class and learned "Forks and knives, Forks an...

In every corny joke,

There is a kernel of truth.

Wanna know what's really corny?

A field of corn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just a compilation of 10 corny jokes that still make me chuckle.

1. What was wrong with the wooden car with wooden wheels?
It "wooden" go!

2. Why can't a dick be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot

3. A guy walks into the doctors office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ass. The doc takes one look and he says, "It looks like w...

(Original corny joke) Why are Israelis so bad at poker?

Because they have so many Tels!

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but Apri...

You know what's corny and cheesy?

Tacos.

My dad told this one to me and it’s really corny

What do you call a chicken who counts it’s eggs?

A mathemachicken

They told me “I’m corny”, I said “of corns not”

I can’t be a comedian, you see.

Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.

They were the laughing stalk of the field

Anyone care to explain how some jokes can be corny?

I'm all ears.

I heard you guys like corny jokes

I'll give you an ear full : ^ )

It's kinda corny...

What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

Original Corny Joke

Who leads the corn into battle?
The kernal!
Bahahahaha

Old corny joke from my childhood.

Once upon a time there were three brothers.

There names were Shadhap, Traboule and Mannars.

One day Traboule was lost so the two other brothers went to the police.

Then Mannars had to go to the washroom and told his brother to talk to the policeman.

The policeman asked, "...

(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?

Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

I was gonna post something else for my first post here, but it was just too corny.

Then again, I was born in Indiana.

(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Aerial

Want to hear a corny joke?

Never mind I forgot the skewers.

Get ready for a corny joke!

***What is Mr. Corn's philosophy on life?***

Life is a maze.

Speaking of corny jokes: how do you win a race against vegetables?

You have to get ahead of lettuce!


Ahahahahaha!

The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.

Corny Joke I Heard On The Radio

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone?

Yello?

I signed up for Binary 101...

but it turned out to be a level 5 course.

Corny, but I'm still proud of myself.

My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

I like to tell Dad jokes

But he never finds them funny.

So I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes. It didn’t go over too well, I was asked to leave the orphanage.

My wife asked me to stop with the corny dad jokes. I was doing to do one about chemistry, but now I’m afraid of the reaction.

A corn stalk sits down at a bar.

The bartender says, “Want to hear a corny joke?”

The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”

a little corny but here it goes...what can u make with onions and baked beans?

tear gas

I would tell you a joke about Nebraska

But it's too corny

My great-grandma told me this joke as a kid and it is by far my favorite kid-friendly joke of all time (I’m also aware of just how corny it is and I don’t care)

There was a country called Raberia, and all the people there were called Rabbis. There was this one Rabbi who wanted to go mountain climbing in this other country called Trideria, and all the people there were called Trids. So he hired two Trids to take him up the mountain and away they go. After a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

You are what you eat

son: if you eat a lot of bananas will that make you go bananas?
Dad: hmm maybe. Your brother eats a lot of corn and he’s corny. Your sister eats a lot of cheese and she’s cheesy. Your mother eats a lot of nuts and she’s nuts and I eat.. I guess you could say I’m a scaredy cat
Son: huh?
Da...

I prefer my jokes to be told by fruits

Because all the jokes i heard from vegetables were just too corny

I made a movie about farm life...

...but the film quality was too grainy and the plot was very corny.

How do you have a serious conversation with a stoner?

You have to be very blunt with them.

[corny joke alert]

The Pregnancy Test

A friend of mine, married, no children, told me a corny joke today.... a dad joke. The next day he found out his wife is pregnant.

Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

Because she had bad blood !

( For all the people who can laugh at a corny Taylor Swift joke ) lol

In need of your CORNIEST joke

My job does zoom meetings every day at 11, and tomorrow our ‘task’ is to come up with a corny joke. The cornier, the better. What do you got for me?

I can find jokes like this on google:
What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

But I really wanna blow peopl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

was going to make a poop joke

But it was too corny.

Why do people hate Maise?

Because it's corny.

What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

CoRnY

What is the difference between corn on the cob and corn off the cob?

Now that I have your ear- there is no punchline. This has all just been a corny set up.

I would tell you a joke about Nebraska

But it's too corny.

If you like dry humor though, I have a good one about Arizona!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's 5Q + 5Q?

10Q

You're welcome.


Just a corny ass joke from my childhood. It gets a laugh 60% of the time, every time

I bought my girlfriend vegetables on valentine's day

She thinks i'm corny

I want to open a new labrynth in a cornfield

I plan to call it the Amazing Maize Maze!
Apologies for the corny joke...

Why did the corn cross the road ?

Because it was being stalked.

(sorry, that was bit corny.)

What did mammy corn say to baby corn when daddy didn't come home?????

Wheres popcorn.

Sorry for the corny joke.

A bit of corn tries to get into heaven

St Peter asks
"what was your job?"
"I was a Kernel before I got popped" it answers.
"in what army?" st Peter asks
And the corn answers in a husky voice: "the one that stalks maizes and takes ears".

I'm not sorry, just a little corny.

Someone was complaining about my farm jokes.

They said they were too *corny*

Mushroom walks into a bar...

The bartender says we don't serve food here.
The mushroom says, why not? I'm a "fungi"

Corny dad joke I know, but its my favorite.

What did the farmer say to the corn that was being difficult?

Go shuck yourself.


What did the mom say to her child walking through the cornfield?

Watch out for stalkers.


Sorry for all the corny jokes.

Iowa

I was going to tell you a joke about Iowa but I thought it would be too corny;

Plus I doubt you’d *EAR* me anyway.





Q:Wanna know why most creeps live in Iowa?

A: Because they’re always stalking around


(These are all original jokes)

What do you say after telling a really bad eye joke?

Corny uh?

Why do tortillas get such a bad wrap?

Because they are so corny.

What religion were the dinosaurs?

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.