The hypnotist show I saw yesterday was incredibly boring.

I can't even remember a single thing!

I always considered fishing to be boring.

But then I got hooked.

Being a taxi driver is boring, nobody ever talks to me. And when they can be bothered to talk, all they say is

"Hang on a minute, I don't live in the woods".

You know being self quarantined isn't even that boring

But I am surprised that there are 7884 grains of rice in one pack, and 7892 in another.

I drew my dog while I was on a boring phone call and I'm really proud of it!

It's a golden doodle.

How many boring people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

I hate seeing directors make the same movie. It gets boring, I guess I'm...

Board of directors

This Halloween is going to be pretty boring...

...with half the country refusing to wear masks.

I learnt a boring fact about Kamikaze

Its just plain suicide

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I
decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was
an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suici...

Did you hear about the really boring demonstration on unmanned aerial vehicles?

The guy droned for at least an hour.

Me: This show is boring...

Boss: Again, this is a Zoom conference!

Why is No Nut November so goddamn boring?

It is probably the most anticlimactic month

See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?

Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!

Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..

Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.

I became a proud dad today

My son is actually 4 years but he was really boring for the first 3 years

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The lion, king of the jungle, gets bored

So he decides to visit his friend the fox and tells him about how bored he was..

The fox says to the Lion "you know, rabbit lives next to you, maybe you can fuck with him to pass the time"

"But how?" Says the lion

Fox - "next time you see him, if he is not wearing a hat give him...

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My wife and I only have sex one way

It's so boring just the one way we have sex. It's called doggy style.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

My friend just told me a long boring story about an incestuous relationship.

It was such an auntie climax.

Why are moon parties so damn boring?

Cuz there is no atmosphere!

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our com...

People think camping is boring,

But I say it's in tents.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

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If sex is dull and boring how do you fix it?

You turn her on and off again

With the quarantine, California highway patrol's job suddenly got a lot more boring.

There was a trooper on the side of the 101 fighting to keep his eyes open, as there was empty road as far as he could see. Suddenly, he heard the roar of a charger zip past him. He flicked on his lights and siren and went after it. He clocked them going at 100MPH!

The car quickly pulled ov...

I find chemistry jokes really boring

Everytime I hear one, Ion

What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?

3Musketeers

In my past life, I was a warrior for an Indian Tribe, and was madly in love with the chiefs daughter

In this tribe we were named after the first thing our mothers saw when we were born. And His daughter, Lily Petal, was absolutely beautiful, and everyday I sighed knowing there was nothing I could do to ever win her attention. I was just boring old Falling Rock, a nobody warrior.

But one day,...

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What is your asshole doing while you orgasm..

A professor was giving a lecture on uncontrollable muscle contractions to his medical students. Knowing that it was a boring subject he decided to spice up the lecture.

He pointed to a pretty blond women in the front row and asked, “do you know what your asshole is doing while you orgasm?”...

Cold War Era Joke: The chairman of the Communist party decides to go check how his fellow comrades are doing. He walks into a dreadful cinema and sits down. Before the movie starts, there is 15 minutes of communist propaganda, with him giving a boring speech at the end. Everyone stands up and

Starts clapping and cheering enthusiastically.

The chairman is so humbled and stays seated, soaking in the love.

A few minutes into the cheering the guy on his left bends over and whispers directly in his ear.

"Comrade, I know how you feel, but if don't want to be sent to Siberi...

What do you call a boring person from Finland?

A dolphin

After years of the wife complaining about me wearing the same boring underwear I decided maybe she was right and I needed to up my underwear game.

So I bought a second pair.

I used to be a geologist

It was a boring job

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Friendly Ghost

A Ghost hunter is travelling the world doing lectures and meet and greets trying to get more people interested in the paranormal.

He's been told that his presentations are boring and lack a certain x factor.

He decides to start his next lecture a little differently and begins by saying...

Would you rather be a spider or the most boring man on earth?

Either way, you're still a web developer.

Three writers, Al, Ben, and Carl, who were attending a writing convention, booked a room on the 75th floor of a hotel.

When they arrived back at the hotel from the convention, the receptionist told them, "I'm terribly sorry, but the elevator is broken. In the meantime, you will have to take the stairs."

Now, Al was a writer of funny stories, Ben was a writer of scary stories, and Carl was a writer of sad stor...

A girl in work was a bit rude earlier, she said I look like I'd be boring in bed.

So I told her she should ask her sister ;).

"Haha, I haven't got a sister" she proclaims.

"I know" I said, "you will in 9 months".

Someone once tried to tell me a really boring joke about chicken seasoning

I just said "Boo! Yawn!"

I don't mean to be rude, but the SuperBowl was boring.

No offense.

There was a porta-potty near the edge of a small cliff

Everyday young Bobby would walk by it on the way home from school, and every day he would resist the temptation to kick it off the edge of the cliff.

This all changed one day when Bobby had a particularly bad day at school. He had learned about boring topics, like how George Washington cut do...

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A man dies and goes to Hell.

When he gets there, a demon tells him that he has to choose a room that he's going to stay in for the rest of all time.

The first room is big, with a few hundred people standing in piles of shit up to their waists. Other than that, nothing else is happening. They all seem to be having small ...

Necrophilia is dead boring

Try incest, it's only relatively boring

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A truck driver, a priest, and a lawyer.

Being a truck driver can be very boring. One truck driver has created a game for himself to help stave off the boredom. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over.

One day, the truck driver picks up a hitchhiking priest. The priest is quietl...

An old snail walks into a car dealership

An old snail walks into a car dealership and tells the salesman he's looking for the flashiest, most expensive sports car he's got. The old snail explains he's been working hard and saving his whole life and this car is to be his reward.

The salesman is thrilled and shows the old snail a brig...

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My wife thinks our sex life is boring and I get distracted easily..........

Well I Better get back to it....

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Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy and Jessica Drew walk into a bar for superheroes. After a few rounds of drinks, they got to arguing over which of them was the greatest super-heroine..

Gwen Stacy: I’m Spider Gwen, so me being the best goes without saying.




Mary Jane: *Yawn*




Jessica Drew: Well I’m Spider-Woman! You can’t get any better than that!






Mary Jane: *Boring*.



Gwen Stacy: Oh, we’re boring you, MJ?...

A tv show about the earth would be really boring

It would just be the same 4 seasons over and over again being rerun.

I know everybody likes Bob Ross...

...but I watched one of his shows once, and found it boring. It was like watching paint dry.

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My wife told me that she’s getting fed up of my boring facts.

“I find them very interesting,” I said.

“Well, who gives a flying fuck?” She said angrily.

“Dragonflies,” I replied.

I'm just like an overdue math textbook:

Boring, lonely, and full of problems.

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Two soldiers

Two soldiers were stationed at a secret base on Greenland. The only entertainment they had was a worn out deck of cards and as time went on the two soldiers became bored with the cards, so to keep them selves entertained they started doing dares to each other.

At first it started out easy lik...

Anesthesiology jokes are boring.

They always put me to sleep.

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