My first job was mending typewriters in a factory, boring job but...

The other employees where great characters...

I always considered fishing to be boring.

But then I got hooked.

You know being self quarantined isn't even that boring

But I am surprised that there are 7884 grains of rice in one pack, and 7892 in another.

Boring women

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've never liked boring women," he confides to the bartender. "Which is why I keep my mouth shut."

My Chia Pet was so boring...

...It was so boring, I'd rather go watch the grass grow

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That new program on netflix about subliminal persuasion and mind control is a load of boring shit.

Turned it off after just five seasons.

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.

For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

A man walks into the Irish bar

The barman says:

-I am deeply sorry sir, but the bar is closed, it will open within the hour only.

-Ok, nevermind, I'll wait - responds the man

-Sure, no problem sir. By the way, would you like a drink to make waiting not so boring?

I drew my dog while I was on a boring phone call and I'm really proud of it!

It's a golden doodle.

I was stuck at this boring get-together so I told everyone that I was gonna grab a couple of cold ones and head out…

I didn’t think it was a big deal but everyone at the funeral home was freaking out.

Why were the Artist Formerly Known as Prince's anecdotes so boring?

Because of the name dropping

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OnlyFans is banning porn but not nudity...

Which means someone will have to evaluate each and every account with naked women in it and come to a decision.

Sounds like tedious and boring work... where do I sign up?

See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?

Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!

Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..

Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.

A musician specializing in bowed string instruments who has a boring play style could be called 'a dull fiddler'.

Which is not so bad until you read it out loud.

The hypnotist show I saw yesterday was incredibly boring.

I can't even remember a single thing!

Flying over the Atlantic

An Airbus 380 is on it's way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring ...

One woman and four men had a plane accident and they landed on a deserted island

They all manage to survive and build their shelter. But slowly having four men for one woman becomes a problem. The men decide to solve the problem by not fighting but talkind and they decide that the woman should spend a week with each of them one by one. So they went to the woman and told the plan...

How many boring people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

I hate seeing directors make the same movie. It gets boring, I guess I'm...

Board of directors

This Halloween is going to be pretty boring...

...with half the country refusing to wear masks.

I learnt a boring fact about Kamikaze

Its just plain suicide

What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?

3Musketeers

Starting as a gardener, I found cleaning moss from lawns boring, I hated it.

But, after 5 years, I’ve started to take a lichen to it.

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A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

I don't mean to be rude, but the SuperBowl was boring.

No offense.

Me: This show is boring...

Boss: Again, this is a Zoom conference!

Why is No Nut November so goddamn boring?

It is probably the most anticlimactic month

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I ...

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

Being a taxi driver is boring, nobody ever talks to me. And when they can be bothered to talk, all they say is

"Hang on a minute, I don't live in the woods".

My friend just told me a long boring story about an incestuous relationship.

It was such an auntie climax.

3 guys checked into the hotel

Their room was on the 45th floor and administrator 1warned them, that elevator works just till 12pm. They left all bags at the room and went to the restaurant. When they arrived, the elevator was no longer working and they had to walk by foot. so it won't be so boring, they desided to tell some joke...

Why are moon parties so damn boring?

Cuz there is no atmosphere!

Did you hear about the really boring demonstration on unmanned aerial vehicles?

The guy droned for at least an hour.

What do you call a boring person from Finland?

A dolphin

Once upon a time in the Caribbean...

Two prawns were swimming around. The first one was called Justin and the second one was called Kristian. They were continually being chased and threatened by the sharks that inhabited the area.

Eventually Justin had had enough. He said to Kristian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was...

A group of Americans were touring Ireland

One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your day...

With the quarantine, California highway patrol's job suddenly got a lot more boring.

There was a trooper on the side of the 101 fighting to keep his eyes open, as there was empty road as far as he could see. Suddenly, he heard the roar of a charger zip past him. He flicked on his lights and siren and went after it. He clocked them going at 100MPH!

The car quickly pulled ov...

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our com...

Cold War Era Joke: The chairman of the Communist party decides to go check how his fellow comrades are doing. He walks into a dreadful cinema and sits down. Before the movie starts, there is 15 minutes of communist propaganda, with him giving a boring speech at the end. Everyone stands up and

Starts clapping and cheering enthusiastically.

The chairman is so humbled and stays seated, soaking in the love.

A few minutes into the cheering the guy on his left bends over and whispers directly in his ear.

"Comrade, I know how you feel, but if don't want to be sent to Siberi...

People think camping is boring,

But I say it's in tents.

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If sex is dull and boring how do you fix it?

You turn her on and off again

After years of the wife complaining about me wearing the same boring underwear I decided maybe she was right and I needed to up my underwear game.

So I bought a second pair.

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The lion, king of the jungle, gets bored

So he decides to visit his friend the fox and tells him about how bored he was..

The fox says to the Lion "you know, rabbit lives next to you, maybe you can fuck with him to pass the time"

"But how?" Says the lion

Fox - "next time you see him, if he is not wearing a hat give him...

I find chemistry jokes really boring

Everytime I hear one, Ion

I became a proud dad today

My son is actually 4 years but he was really boring for the first 3 years

My job involves drilling holes into the earth

It's well boring

Would you rather be a spider or the most boring man on earth?

Either way, you're still a web developer.

Necrophilia is dead boring

Try incest, it's only relatively boring

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My wife thinks our sex life is boring and I get distracted easily..........

Well I Better get back to it....

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Bronco

I asked my friend “Do you know anything I can try in the bedroom, it’s been a bit boring lately?”

My friend “Have you tried Bronco sex?”

Me “Wtf?”

My friend “OK so you bend her over, you take hold of her real tight and then you whisper in her ear… You ain’t as good as your siste...

A tv show about the earth would be really boring

It would just be the same 4 seasons over and over again being rerun.

Someone once tried to tell me a really boring joke about chicken seasoning

I just said "Boo! Yawn!"

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Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...

Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.

They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...

I came up with a really great statistics joke, but no statistician wanted to hear it.

So I asked them why and they told me, statistically speaking, most of what you say is boring.

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I read japanese jokes

But it was boring. All the punchlines were pixelated.

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My wife told me that she’s getting fed up of my boring facts.

“I find them very interesting,” I said.

“Well, who gives a flying fuck?” She said angrily.

“Dragonflies,” I replied.

A guy was on a boring date with a girl, so he said “You’re the most average girl here”. She said “You’re mean”

He said “No you are”

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A guy walks into a bar .....

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sees a beautiful woman at the end of the bar and walks right up to her. "You look like you have a boring sex life. My mission tonight is to get you drunk, take you home and give you the best shag of your life," he says. "My boyfriend is behind you," she r...

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