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Clueless Jokes

Clueless Neighbor

My neighbor is a nice guy but he can be a little clueless. His wife spends every weekend out with her coworkers but he doesn't mind because he loves to work in their garden. One day when I was mowing the backyard I saw that he was pruning his prize roses when he started using colorful language and h...

What do you call two clueless, old men.

Presidential Candidates

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3 clueless men

Three very conservative men were sitting in a bar discussing their daughters.

The first man said: "I am so disappointed in my little girl. I was going through her room the other day, and found a bottle of Vodka. I did not know she drank"

The second man continued: "I know how you feel. ...

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.

"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

Why are Saudi Arabians Clueless?

Because They live under Iraq

Mom! Mom! In school they say am clueless!

Sorry kid, your home is across the street.

Why is Patrick so clueless

He lives under a rock

My wife says I'm a clueless idiot.

I didn't even know I had a wife.

I'm a clueless drinker.

I only drink on days that end with "why".

If I had a dollar for every time I was clueless,

I'd ask where all this money's coming from.

A police officer is hammering furiously on a guy’s door. When the guy opens the door the officer says; “Do you know what GBH is?”

The guy say; “eh, no I don’t.”

The officers says; “Do you know what GTA is?”

The guy is just as clueless and says no.

The officers pushes on unperturbed; “Well, do you know what AS is then?”

The guy shakes his head and says; “ No officer, I don’t know what AS is. Why are ...

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A girl was crazy about 69 position..

But she haven't tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After the dinner she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 posi...

An original Joke!!

A bunch of soldiers who just got enlisted are presented to their drill sergeant. The drill sergeant makes them line up and starts shouting at them.

"Privates!! I am your new sergeant and you have to listen to everything I say!! "
Now listen closely, I am sergeant Fenitals!! Did you unders...

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What does American economy and pornstar in stepsis videos has in common?

Well, both are getting fucked hard and daddy is fucking clueless.

A monk from Nepal travels to Germany…

When he steps out of the airport he goes to the pick-up lane and raises his hand to call a taxi. An incoming taxi driver notices the Nepali and pulls up next to him with his big, luxurious Mercedes Benz car. The monk boards the taxi but as he has never seen such a big and shiny car before, he curiou...

It's a lot of rubbish when people talk about "how good" modern kids are these days with technology.

My grandson is staying for the weekend, and he looks absolutely clueless with my VCR and VHS tapes.

First time buying protection.

A young boy goes to the pharmacy to buy protection.

The pharmacist is a young, attractive girl. He asks her for a pack of condoms.

She gives it to him, but asks “Why do you look so confused?”

He says “I’ve never used them before.”

So she seductively rolls one onto her t...

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I will never forget the story of when I bought my first condoms

I was 16 year old at that time and got serious with my GF and we decided to bang for the first time.

So I took a trip to the pharmacy to buy some condoms. In the pharmacy was one really hot blonde pharmacist in her early 20s.

I then proceeded to look at the condoms like I was an exper...

This joke was originally written in Klingon; I hope I've got the translation right...

A new prisoner named Andy arrived at the prison. Andy had never been in prison before, so everything was new and strange.

Before long he met Bob, who sort of showed him around, introduced him to a few other prisoners, and helped him start to learn the ropes.

That evening, when t...

A blonde in a shop .

A blonde entered a shop and had a look around . She pointed towards a television and told the salesman she wanted it . The salesman said : sadly I dont sell stuff to blondes . So the blonde walked away angrily. But she still wanted the TV so she dyed her hair red and entered the same shop . Once a...

A time-traveler arrives in the middle of a medieval european war...

Clueless about his whereabouts and the year he’s in, he follows a few soldiers in the middle of a siege to ask them.

“Do you know where we are?” the time-traveler asked.

“We’re in Cambrai !” One of them replied

“And do you know what year it is ?”

“ 1339, why do you ask ?”...

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Totally didn't steal this from r/iamverysmart

Once, the Oracle of Delphi had declared Socrates to be the wisest man in the world.

In response, Socrates said "Surely I'm not, for there's so much about this world that I don't know. I know not the meaning of life nor truth nor purpose, and so much more. Please, Oracle, let me find the true ...

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It’s No Nut November and we’re accepting bets until 11/11.

“Step right up and ‘come’ on in! Go make a bet on any male candidate. Claim your prize after No Nut November ends., but ONLY if the candidate don’t nut. It’s $69 per ticket!
Double your winnings if they don’t nut for the next week!”

With semenly impossible odds, this is a good way to net...

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Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.

After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant; frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins!..... A boy ...

The cabinet maker

A woman in Tel-Aviv finally saves enough money to buy a new hand-made cabinet, and has it installed in her home, which faces the street whereby bus number 5 passes.

As she is admiring her new purchase, she notices that bus number 5 passes her house, and as it does, the cabinet doors open up...

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I'd been a bit of a shut in computer nerd for a long while before I lost my virginity...

My parents forced me out on a date they arranged. To my surprise I manage to bring her home.

Still, I didn't know the first thing about women, completely clueless.

However, like a good nerd I was prepared. Right before the date I wrote a list of questions about sex on my laptop should...

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A young mailman gets gets farewell...

A young mailman is transferred to another town and as he did a very good job at his work, the people of the town decided to greet him with something on the last day.

The mailman goes from one house to other collecting gifts and treats.

One lady gives him some cash to show her gratitude...

COMPUTERS: SHE OR HE?

COMPUTERS: SHE OR HE?

Why computers seem female:
-- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
-- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
-- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as,...

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The Biker and God

So God is watching this this biker as he rides in California, he was a real nasty guy in a biker gang, used to be a real bastard. Eventually he got married, had kids, left his life of crime behind him and became a really good guy. God then starts talking to him:
> So, you used to be a real bad...

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Your life pursuit

Long ago in a distant land an explorer and his large team of bearers, trackers, hunters, cooks, handymen, translators and so on came upon a village of people never before known to the outside world.

Luckily the translators were able to communicate with the people and soon the explorer was tal...

Milking a cow

A city dweller recently got married to a beautiful farm girl. One day, the wife gets homesick and pleads with him to head down to the farm for the holidays.

The husband is not very receptive to this idea since he's clueless about farm work and his father-in-law often embarasses him in front o...

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A cowboy walks into a deserted saloon...

And there's no tinkling waltz on the piano, no gentle buzzing about the days activities, it's empty. A mournful bartender polishes an immaculate glass and halfheartedly waves away a fat, clueless fly.

The cowboy sidled into a stool and fished a coin out of his pocket. He flicked it with his t...

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Sex Frogs

A miserably married man hates his life. His wife is a bitch, so everyday after work he's only home for a half hour before he takes off to the same bar to escape for a while. He's a regular at said bar. The people there are friendly and understand where he is in his life right now.

Well, one n...

Lieutenant Dan has to deliver bad news.

One day, from the office of the General of the Army comes a letter for Lieutenant Dan bearing bad news. Private John's wife had passed away in a horrible car accident.

The General strongly suggested that breaking the news lightly to John would be course of action.
Lieutenant Dan, with hi...

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