9/10 Redditors are idiots

I'm glad to be the 1%

The village of idiots.

There is a village of idiots. Every month the village gathers in the town square, where 3 people from the neighboring town each bring in an object so,the town's folk can guess what it is. It's great fun for the whole town women, men, young and old alike join the festivities. The first person walks t...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Knock knock

Who's there?

The chicken

Kevin the town idiot.

A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says "Look, that's the town idiot. I'll show you. I do this every week"

He then hollers at the other guy

" Hey Kevin! Here, a gift for you, and you get to choose! One $20 bill, or five $1 bills?"

Kevin happily ...

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Arguing against an idiot is like playing chess against a pigeon

You strategically think of all the moves and you have the intelligence to win, but they will just shit on all the pieces and then strut around as if they'd won

A homeless man called me an idiot, so I told him I was suing for emotional distress.

He told me that I knew he was poor and that I wasn't making any cents.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

How do you make an idiot turn his phone upside down?

˙ǝʞoɾ qɯnp ɐ ɯᴉɥ llǝʇ no⅄

My friend told me, “You have a B.A., a Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

I just saw some idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

I wish we cold stop idiots from being literate.

Then jokes like this would never happen.

How many idiots does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three; one to hold the bulb and two to turn the chair

A village idiot walks into a library

He goes to the librarian and says, "Ma'am, I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare."

The librarian says, "Sure, hon. Which one?"

The idiot says, "William".

My bullies broke my MP3 player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again.

Tommorow, I'll bring an MP5.

Totally sick of idiots letting fireworks off early, it’s still October for goodness sake!!!

Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!

99.9% of people are idiots.

Fortunately, I belong to the 1% of intelligent people

Dad, what are idiots?

\- "Are they kind of animal?" kid asks dad.

\- "No son, those are people like you and me." dad answers.

A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. "Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?"

He looks her up and down and surmises that she's an idiot whom he can take advantage of.

"I'll give you ten dollars if you paint my porch. There's paint, brushes, ladders and everything you'll need next to the car in the garage."

"Sure, sounds great!"

The man closes the door, ch...

All the rich idiots in my town drive BMWs.

It's the only foreign car they can spell.

Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn...

Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn when it catches on fire. The only way down is to jump into the manure pile.

The first idiot says, “I’ll jump first and tell you how deep it is.” He jumps, and a few seconds later the second idiot hears, “it’s only ankle deep!”

The second id...

Please stop calling Donald Trump an idiot.

As an idiot myself, it's very offensive that people think he's one of us.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

Despite them not knowing what a Trump fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well, all except for little Timmy.

The teacher looks over to little Timmy and asks, “Timmy, why are you bein...

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Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
‟Gentlemen,” the Devil started, ‟D...

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An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.

The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”

The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 1’000 question math test which...

Ted Cruz almost made America great again....

...but then the idiot came back

A guy walks into a bar and has several beers while he complains to the bartender about his soon-to-be ex-wife.

"I was a complete idiot when I married her," the guy laments to the bartender. "Probably," the bartender agrees. "But I suppose she was in love at the time and didn't notice right off."

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A scientist, a mathematician, and in idiot all die in a car wreck and go to Heaven.

"Unfortunately, since heaven is quite full at the moment, I am only going to allow one of you in," the Devil says. "Whoever can ask me a question that I cannot answer correctly will be admitted into heaven. The rest will go to hell."

So the scientist steps up and asks him, "What is the most c...

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3 men standing in front of the gates of heaven

Peter says: "Sorry guys. We're closed."
"But Peter.. We're dead. You have to let us in."
Peter: "I'll make you a deal: If the story of how you died is awesome, I'll let you in."

So the first man begins to tell his story:
"I am an attorney and I work every day from 6am to 8pm but THI...

A smart drunk

“I was in the mood for a drink so I biked to the local liquor store to buy a bottle of whiskey. At first I was planning to bike home with the bottle in my bike basket but I’m not an idiot and knew it would break if I crashed so I drank it in the parking lot. Thank god I did because I crashed 12 time...

Three idiots get lost in the desert......

After walking for hours, they begin to realize they are in trouble knowing they need water very soon. Fortunately for them they happen upon a crashed and deserted car, the first idiot: the radiator must have water, the second idiot the wind shield wiper container must have water, the third idiot doe...

There's a hot blonde in my neighborhood and she doesn't look like an idiot to me.

I think she doesn't look to me at all.

What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t worry about him. He’s just a product of our times.

Once a man a was shouting at Times square " The president is an Idiot"

"The president is an Idiot" he yelled

You can't defame the president, a cop arrested him
"Hey I didn't say 'our' president, I was talking about China"

Cop replied "Shut up we know exactly which president is an Idiot"

My SUV needs all 4 tires replaced at a total cost of $800. That's more than the stimulus they gave us and so the wife freaked out a little.

I told her that it's no big deal and we can just rent a SUV for a day and it would only cost $50.

She said I was an idiot and that we would need an SUV for more then 24 hours.

Then I explained to her that it's more then enough time for me to swap the tires.

As a non-American I just wanted to say I don't think America is filled with idiots.

Yeah, right sub.

A pharmacist walked into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked his assistant. "He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire box of laxatives". "You idiot" said the pharmacist "You can't treat a cough with laxatives". "Of course you can" the assistant replied "Look at him... hes too afraid to cough...

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A guy goes up to the bartender and bets him $50 he can pee in a beer glass from all the way across the bar...

... without getting a SINGLE drop on the bar. The bartender thinks it’s impossible so he takes the bet.

The guy places the glass at one end of the bar & stands at the other. He unzips and starts a’pissin. And it goes AAAAALL over the place, not a single drop even coming close to the glas...

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One of my favourite jokes from one of my favourite movies, Desperado. Originally delivered by my favourite director, Quentin Tarantino

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says...

I can't stand idiots that don't know the difference between to and too.

There so stupid.

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A man screams at his tv: “You fucking idiot don’t walk into that church!!”

His wife comes Into the room and asks him what he’s watching.

The man responds: “Our wedding tape”

My family is furious at me for implying my Sister in an idiot for not vaccinating her child...

I suppose the funeral wasn’t the right place to say it.

What do idiots on Twitter and a cartographer have in common?

Map awareness.

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The farmer

A farmer walks upstairs to his bedroom with a chicken under his arm and stands before his wife.

“This is the pig I’ve been fucking”

His wife rolls over and sees the farmer.

“You idiot that’s a chicken”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TALKIN TO THE CHICKEN”

What do you call a self-contradictory idiot from Australia?

An "Aussie-Moron"

I thought that people getting mad over wearing a mask was not real, but today it happened to me as well. He told me Im an idiot for wearing a mask during a situation like this..

Like dude wtf, you're a dentist, aren't you like a doctor or something?

Town idiot got fed up of how dumb he is and decided to off himself

He hikes up the mountain to jump off the ledge. He's finally 30 feet away from the ledge when he hears an old man's voice "What r u doing up here young man?

The guy turns around and tells him about how he's the town idiot and fed up with his own stupidity and how he can't take it anymore. The...

A genie and an idiot

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here

What do you call a group of idiots?

A dim sum.

Two men stay out late drinking, miss the last bus and have to walk home

They pass the bus depot, so one says he'll break in and steal a bus to get them home.
Ages later, he comes to the door and goes, 'it's no use, I can't find a number 9.'
'You idiot!' says his friend, 'Just steal a 14, we'll get off at the corner and walk the rest of the way.'

At the Pearly Gates in Heaven

The first applicant of the day at the Pearly Gates explains that his last day was not a good one...
“I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just got out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she w...

I want to know what idiot called it a last will and testament

It should’ve been called a dead giveaway

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A famous magician is doing a show one night in front of a packed audience. All is going well, the people love his acts, until this one guy shouts "Aaahhh, that's bullshit! That's not magic, that's just tricks! Any idiot can do that!"

Unfazed, the magician continues, doing another one of his best acts until the same unruly guy shouts "Oh come on! Everybody knows that's just tricks, that's not real magic!"


The magician, a little rattled at this point, decides to pull out his best ever act, and cuts a guy in half on stag...

Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip.

In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up and gives Watson a nudge. "Watson," he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson.

"And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"

Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "a...

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You can't take it with you

A wealthy man is on his deathbed. He tells his wife he thinks he has found a way to take his money with him when he dies. He asks her to put some money in a large suitcase and place it in the attic. When his soul leaves his body he'll grab the suitcase on his way to heaven. The wife obliges and does...

How do you keep an idiot entertained for a minute?

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

>!P...

If I had a nickel every time I was called an idiot...

I'd have 4 cents

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Two idiots were boasting to each other.

"Back in my home town, we were so poor that we ate the lizards crawling on our walls." Says Manny.

"Oh yeah? In my home town we ate literal shit just to survive." Jinkee said.

Manny then proceeds to take a shit on his hand. "Alright then. Eat this."

Jinkee says, "Why? We're no...

An idiot starts to work at a bakery

One day a woman comes in and asks him how much the donuts are. The idiot says “I don’t know.” The lady became annoyed and leaves the bakery. Just then the manager storms in and says, “you have to tell them they’re fifty cents!”

Next day comes, and a gentleman enters the bakery. He asks “so ho...

An old joke from Germany, when Trump jad just became President...

Trump is on Europe tour. He stops by in Germany and visits Mrs. Merkel in the german pariament; the 'Bundestag'.

He sees that everything there is working out just fine, so he asks her: "How do you do that?"
"What?", she asks.
"That everything works out so well?"

"Oh, that's easy....

How do you confuse an idiot?

Summer

Old Russian joke. Russia has 2 major problems: roads and idiots. One of them can be solved by a road roller...

But it's impossible to figure out what to do with roads.

Late one night a burglar

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the vo...

I just heard an announcement on a loud speaker outside my home saying, "If you invest $50 just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".

I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs

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Bob talks with his wife after a long night of drinking.

Bob: "Honey, I think our house is haunted!"

Wife: "Why do you say that?"

Bob: "Last night when I opened the bathroom door, the lights suddenly went on, and cold air blew right at me!"

Wife: "You idiot! You pissed in the fridge again!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson Go Camping

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holme...

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Two red necks go fishing

They row out to the middle of the lake and started to pull out fish after fish. One redneck says “We have to remember this spot! We should paint an X on the bottom of the boat so we know where it is”

“You idiot!” Says the other redneck “It’ll just wash off!”

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.”

The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and ...

Alexa, why do I always screw up with the ladies?

I'm Siri, you idiot!

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Like a fucking idiot, I left my apartment door unlocked and some prick came in and took a shit

Yeah, so when I get home, I find two turds floating in the toilet. I know for a fact that when I left, there were three.

A father is scolding his stupid son.

"Timmy, you're an idiot! You're as dumb as this table!"

He knocks on the table for effect.

"Dad, dad, someone knocked, I'll go get the door!"

Father facepalms.

"Gods, Timmy, you're stupid. \*I\* knocked. \*I'LL\* go get the door!"

I just asked Alexa to play ‘American Idiot’.

I’m now listening to Donald Trump’s latest press conference.

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A corrupt guy, a sex offender, a racist, a compulsive liar, an idiot and a terrible business man all walk into a golf course...

Welcome back Mr. President said the door man.

School Crush Reunion

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago.

Cou...

An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.

This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message...

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A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help.

Soon the head of the WHO came by. He said “Try social distancing! It can save you!”

The fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the head of the WHO went on.

Then Dr. Fauci came by and told the man “Wear a mask! It can save you!”

The ...

Marital Misunderstanding

It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:

"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"

Her hu...

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?

Because he's an idiot.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine.'

And the other guy says: 'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so ...

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My teacher pointed a scale at me and said "at the end of this scale, there is an idiot"

Then i asked something and she sent me out of the class.

Apparently, asking "at which end?" did not amuse her.

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I am a fucking idiot

Oh, wait.

*ahem*

I don’t vaccinate my children

My idiot neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM... who does that??

Luckily I happened to be up practicing my trumpet

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A man and his wife are sound asleep in bed when the phone rings. The man picks up, listens for a second and says, “How the fuck would I know, you idiot? I’m not a weatherman,” before slamming down the receiver.

“Who was that?” asks his wife.
“Wrong number. It was some bastard asking if the coast was clear.”

Two idiots want to escape prison

One says "Go to the wall, if it's short enough we'll jump over it. If it's too tall, we'll dig a tunnel."

The other one goes outside to check.

When he returns, he says "Dude, we can't escape."

"What!? Why?"

>!"There's no wall"!<

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Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and politely asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and politely asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned, and...

After trick-or-treating on Halloween, a teen takes a shortcut through a cemetery.

Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man chipping away at a headstone. "I thought you were a ghost," says the relieved teen. "What are you doing working so late?" "Oh, those idiots," grumbles the old man. "They misspelle...

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A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?'"



"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terri...

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A man hears a knock at the door late at night...

A man hears a knock at the door late at night.
He goes downstairs and answers it.
There’s a man stood there, and he said
“Hi mate, is there any chance you can give me a push?”
The homeowner said angrily,
“Do you know what time it is? It’s nearly 3:00, I’ve got to be up for work in 2...

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

In a panic she told her lover “Hurry, stand in the corner. Don’t move until I tell you to. Just shut your eyes and pretend you’re a statue.”

At the moment her husband walked into the room. “What’s this, honey?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths b...

What idiot called it "The Corona Virus"

When they missed a oppertunity to call it "The Kung Flu"

A woman wanted to know how her husband would react if she left him. She wrote him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore. She put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.

When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it. After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter. Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a numb...

The best Knock Knock joke

Me- "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Dad- "Why"

Me- "To get to the idiots house BAHAHA"

Dad- "That's stupid"

Me- "Fine this one is better, Knock Knock"

Dad- "Who's there"

Me- "The chicken :)"

"How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"

Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.

A lad was on his way to visit his friend. Whilst driving, his car broke down and it began to rain so heavily, he couldn’t see his own hands in front of him.

He walked for as long as he could, but the rain became too much to bear. He found a tree and stood beneath it, waiting for a car.
Hours went by, and he was beginning to give up hope. It was a quiet road indeed that he found him on. The next town wasn’t for miles, so he’d have to stay the night ...

Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an e...

Some idiots only write the word lockdown,

Because they can’t spell kwarinteen

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A Husband and wife go to therapy. The Husband tells the therapist “ His wife gets historical every time she gets upset! The therapist corrected the husband and said “ hysterical”... the wife is sitting there with a smirk on her face. Like her husband is an idiot

The husband corrects the Therapist and said “ No she’s historical... she’s always bringing up the past “.

One flight passenger to another: "The pilot is an idiot, he believes his aircraft was a communist leader." "What makes you think so?" asks the other.

"I overheard him yelling 'The plane is Stalin! The plane is Stalin!'"

Who's the idiot now?

In ancient Greek the word “idiot” meant anyone who wasn’t a politician.

Today it's the exact opposite.

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Why did the idiot have sex?

To become a fuckin idiot.

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I ran into the gas station with my mask on saying, "This is a Stick Up!"

The clerk laughed.

The man paying for a coffee laughed.

The lady grabbing a candy bar laughed.

They thought I was joking, so I quickly made a small purchase.

When the cashier had the drawer open, I said hand me the large bills and a carton behind the counter.

The c...

What do you say to an idiot who can't pee?

Urine idiot.

Wives don't joke with husbands this days...

A man went on a night out with his friends. The wife was furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him.

At about12 o'clock the man comes back and knocks. The Wife tells him:

"go sleep where you are coming from " and the man answered "I'm not h...

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A guy sitting at a bar..

After his second drink Says to the bartender I bet you 500 bucks I could piss in that cup over there and not miss a drop. The bartender agrees and set the mug down a few feet away, the man stands on stool and begins to pee perfectly into the mug, not missing one drop. The bartender was amazed. Deter...

A guy was screaming at the TV “Run idiot, run!”

His wife walked in and asked “Are you watching a horror movie?”. He said “No. It’s our wedding tape”

The Unconditional Love Test

In order to find out whose love is truly unconditional.... lock both your wife & dog in the trunk of your car for approximately 15-30 minutes. When you open the trunk, who is excited to see you? That’s your answer.



*DO NOT try this at home. This is a joke and I cannot be held res...

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, “Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"

“I farted in class and the teacher threw me out.” The principle asks him again, “Well then, why are you laughing?”

“Becaus...

Family had no money left, so the husband sent his wife to work the streets.

She came home in the morning, and her husband asked:”How much did you make?”

“$804” she said

“Which idiot gave you $4 ???” he asked

“Well... everyone...”

Trump visits an elementary school

Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, “what do you all want to be when you grow up?”

“A farmer,” shouts one.

“An astronaut,” shouts another.

“The President of the United States,” confidently says a little girl.

“Who sa...

Two overweight women are sitting at a bar. After a few drinks they get loud and start to irritate the guests around them.

A man sitting close to them attempts to engage them in a conversation, hoping that a more conversational tone will get them to calm down.

“Excuse me”, says the man “I couldn’t help but notice your accents....are you ladies from Scotland”?

Without skipping a beat one of the ladies rudel...

The Drunk

A man walks into a bar, orders a pint, drinks it, places the glass on the counter, turns to his right and says "You're a bunch of idiots" then he turns to his left and says "And you're a bunch of fools", then he leaves.

The next day, he walks into the bar again, orders a pint, drinks it, plac...

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The FBI had an open position for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the ci...

Considering idiots aren't buying Corona beer because of the name of the virus.....

We should name the next outbreak the Toilet Paper Virus and watch people's heads explode

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Bush, Trump, and Hillary are all on a plane during the pandemic...

Bush says, "I could throw this $100 mask out the window and make someone happy". Trump, with a smug look on his face replies, "I could throw ten $10 masks out the window and make 10 people happy". Hillary smirks and says, "Oh yeah, I could throw one hundred $1 masks out the window and make 100 peopl...

First attempt

An angel saw a man standing at the gate of heaven. The man was asked how he died. He replied saying he was on the 8th floor of his flat and saw a man trying to enter the 6th floor through the balcony. So he took the fridge and threw it at him. Shortly after that he died. The angel let him through....

Do you want know how to let an idiot wait?

I’m gonna tell you later...

Anyone who thought Trump was gonna pull the US out of the middle east is an idiot.

I mean if he was any good at pulling out, he probably wouldn't have 5 kids.

Why wouldn’t Karen the idiot get her dogs vaccinated?

She was afraid they’d get Pawtism.

Person 1:what's the best way to get idiots to leave you alone?

Person 2:i tend to just agree with them-then they can't argue

Person 1:what? no.

Person 2:to be honest yeah it's a bit dumb.



(you could see where it was going but I found it funny. Also, tell me if it's a repost.)

An idiot.

What do you call a person who puts the punchline in the title of their post?

My wife says I'm a clueless idiot.

I didn't even know I had a wife.

A police officer just knocked on my door...

and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Pfft, my dogs don't even own bikes, idiot.

What do you get when you cross an idiot with a dyslexic?

OP

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