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Childish Jokes

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Childish but made me laugh

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

My girlfriend dumped me today saying I was too childish

But today is opposite day so it's all good

My girlfriend wanted to talk to me about ‘how childish I am’

But she didn’t know the password to my pillow fort so she couldn’t get in.

"You're so childish!" screamed the wife. "Why do you always have to use that stupid walkie talkie with your stupid friends?! This is ridiculous, this relationship is over!"

"This relationship is what? Over!"

My girlfriend just accused me of being too childish, walked out, and slammed the door. It was pretty brave of her...

...considering the floor was lava.

My girlfriend called me childish the other day

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my alphabetti spaghetti

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My coworkers often accuse me of being childish...

...but they're all a bunch of stupid poopyheads!

What do all these Leonardo DiCaprio jokes have in common?

They’re all so childish..

What do you call a childish churro?

Immachurro

So I bought myself and my girlfriend walkie talkies

Gf: “You’re too childish, this isn’t working and it’s over”

Me: “Sorry, this isn’t working and it’s what? Over“

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A teacher asks the children in her class what they done at the weekend...

"I went out for the day, and rode on the choo choo", said Billy.

"Billy", said the teacher, "we don't use childish and immature language in my class. You rode on a train... Steve?"

"My dad and I went go-karting but I crashed and got a boo boo", said Steve.

"Steve, I just said we...

My wife wants to talk to me about my childish behaviour.

Little does she know she can’t enter my pillow fort without the secret password.

Childish immature jokes are the best

* Step 1: say "eye"
* Step 2: spell the word "map"
* Step 3: say "nus"
* Now say that all together...

Childish Knock Knock Joke

*Knock knock!
*Who's there?
*Take a nap!
*Take a nap who? (say it fast)
*Hope it comes out alright, I'll come back later...

My wife finally had enough of my "childish" hobbies and made me choose between my collection of plastic blocks and my fantasy costumes.

After making a hard decision, I'm now a legoless Legolas.

I was having an argument with my girlfriend and she accused me of being childish.

What does she know? She's just a stinky poo face.

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Today my girlfriend told me I was being childish...

... I told the bitch to get the fuck out my couch fortress.

My girlfriend told me I was too childish.

The other day, I bought her a pair of walkie talkies.

She squinted her eyes at me and said, "Our relationship is over."

I squinted my eyes right back and told her, "Our relationship is what? Over."

My girlfriend said she wants to break up with me because im too childish

i said please give me another chance
she said "no, we're through, done, finished, end of, period.
so i started laughing
she said "what are u laughing for?"
i said "hehe, you said period"

My girl broke up with me, thinks I am childish.

So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and ran away..HA!

What do you call a "Gulf and Western" singer who's gained way too much weight?

Jimmy Hit the Buffett



What do you call a band that agrees with anything?



Yes.



What do you call a band that you don't know any of the members?



The Who?



What do you call a band that likes to play childish games?



...

A childishly innocent man dies and goes to heaven

When he gets there he is greeted by God, who says to him that in order to get into heaven, he must listen to 100 dirty jokes, without laughing, giggling or smirking. The man hears all the jokes without reacting at all however, on the 99th joke, he bursts into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. God s...

I had to divorce my wife, she was just SO childish

She kept stealing my bath toys.

I'm way too childish. I should stop saying "That's what she said"

"That's hard Michael"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID"

How childish are Trump's tweets?

Let's just say Roy Moore would date them.

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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms ...

My girlfriend messaged me to say she’s breaking up with me because I’m too childish. So I marched over to her house, rang her door bell and ran away

That’ll teach her

Well, I know it's childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won!

The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..

What do you call a River who acts in a very Childish way?

JuveNile!

I finally convinced mom to watch anime to prove it's not childish and immature at all.

But it's weird to watch hentai with your parents.

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A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map.

As the first mate guided them carefully up to a clearing, he stopped suddenly and pointed at a crouched figure straight ahead.

The captain gasped.

"...Carol??"

"Hey, loser," she droned, relieving herself between two pines. "I see you're still looking for buried treasure like a c...

Things need to know about me

A. Bad at grammar

B. Bad at titles

C. Grammar

D. Repetitive

H. Don't know the alphabet

5. Inconsistent

7. Don't know number line

12. Repetitive

237. Too ambitious

(239) Inconsistent

(6) Childish

(7) Easily distracted
...

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and voter fraud?

One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want. The other has flying reindeer.

My girlfriend threatened to break up with me

She said, "You act so childish whenever I'm around. Now, it's either 'your mom' jokes or me."

I said, "And I, like so many men before me, will eagerly choose your mom."

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Poop, potty, crap, dung, excretion.

Excuse my childishness, I know that was a *shitty* joke.



I’ve wasted my life.



Help :(

The more time you spend with your lover, the more you become like them.

That explains why I'm so childish.

What do you call a baby plate throwing a tantrum?

Childish

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Guys.. Seriously Jew jokes aren't funny.

Anne Frankly They're childish and offensive

Little Johnny was a notoriously bad speller

He would always misspell words and just write them the way they sounded to a young child's ear. This was particularly embarrassing to his father, whose boss would always brag how clever his own son, Pete was.


One evening, the boss visited Little Johnny's house for dinner, bringing litt...

Don't get lost in the mountains

Disclaimer: I know this is a childish joke, but I like it and when you tell this one at a party with drunken people, you can almost guarantee a laugh from everyone.

A journalist went to a village in a mountain range to learn about their traditions. He walks up to the village elder and asks: "...

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Adam and Eve...

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflecti...

I counted the times I was right in arguments with my girlfriend. I was right 1450 times and she was right 675 times.

She said it was very childish of me to count that. She was right about that, but that still leaves her at 676.

In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room...

In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where
their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in
looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed
the worried faces, "The only hope left for your loved one at t...

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A blonde girl is making out with her boyfriend...

...after a while she backs off and says "I have a great idea! Why don't we play hide and seek?"

Her boyfriend shrugs. "Sounds a bit childish. Why would we do that?"

She says "Because, if you find me...I'll give you a blowjob."

"And what if I can't find you?"

"Oh, I'll be ...

Timmy...

My joke is quite simple, and childish I'd say
Some may actually know what I'm going to say

It starts with a name you see (here is the thing)
And involves what's commonly known as a 'swing'

I think it's quite funny, (I just have to say though)
So, "*Why did ...

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What is the worst part of being a pedophile?

Fitting in.
No? Too old for childish jokes? Sorry.

A man and a boy are walking in the woods

And the boy says in his childish voice "gee mister, these woods sure are scary!"
To which the man replies in a humbled tone " your telling me! And I gotta walk out of here alone!"

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Post office workers are going through the mail and find a letter addressed simply To Santa

Since they've nowhere to send it to, they open the letter and find the most tragic childish scribbling:

"Dear Santa,
My name is Timmy and I live in an orphanage. I have no mom or dad. We have barely any heating and it gets very cold. I know you are very busy, but could you please send me a...

Woman Decides To Test Her Husband's Love. Then This Happened... LOL!

Not too long ago, there was a woman who felt that her husband was being distant and unloving.

She wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.

She decided to write him a letter saying she was tired of him and didn't want to live with h...

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