Driving License Jokes - 21 Hilarious Driving License Jokes

A man gets pulled over by the police. When a policeman asks him to show his driving license, he responds "You need to cooperate."

The policeman asks him "What do you mean by "cooperate"?"

The driver replies "Well, last week one of you took my license away, and now you want me to show it!"

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I think I’m going to lose my driving license

and all just because of a stupid police officer...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagin...

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A guy applies for their driving license

Before starting practicing, of course, they had to pass a theoretical test.

The teacher asks them: «You're on the road at night, and you see 2 lights. What is it?»

And the student answers: «It's a car».

The teacher says: «It narrows down too little. Is it a BMW? A Mercedes? A Fo...

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How to get out of a speeding ticket...

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer...

A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in ...

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Driving License

- Hi, i came to get my driving license out.
- Excuse me sir, but this is an Hospital.
- Yes, i know. The thing is, it's in my ass.

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Why did Hitler lose his driving license?

He was too hard on the gas.

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TIL: Hitler never had a driving license

No wonder he couldn't end a race

Driving License

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.

An old lady was stopped for speeding

Police officer: I'm sorry, but I think you were driving a bit too fast?

Old lady: What?! No, that can't be true!

Police officer: Can I see your drivers license?

Old lady: No, I don't have it anymore. I lost it 4 years ago when driving while drunk!

Police officer: Well.. C...

A drunk guy calls a radio station...

...and tells the RJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it."
The RJ asks in an impressed tone,"It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return th...

Joke translated to English from German

A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.

"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"

"What's a driving license? "

"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."

She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic m...

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A policeman stands near the road...

Waiting for some cars to pass by. Finally a family sedan appears in his sight and as the car approaches the officer gives a signal to the driver to pull up. A young man and a young woman are sitting on the front seats while an elderly pair had taken the seats behind them. The sedan stops and the pol...

A 16 year old boy arrives home...

A 16 year old boy arrives home with his new driving license, and says to his father:

\- Dad, I bought a brand new Bentley.

\-What? Those cars are worth >$200.000 and you don't have a buck.

\- Yes, look at it parked there: it cost me $50.

The father looks out of the win...

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Guy is stopped by the policeman

"Sir, you were speeding I will need to give you a ticket. Do you have an ID, driving license and car insurance?"

"This isn't my car. But I think I saw insurance card in the glove box when I put there my gun. I can check."

"Sir are you armed?"

"Yes, as I told you, my gun is in th...

A man gets pulled over by the police.

Robert: Is something wrong, officer?

Officer: Yes, you were driving too fast.

Robert: Okay, I understand.

Officer: May I see your driver's license, please?

Robert: I would like to let you see it if I had one.

Officer: You do not have a driver's license?

Robe...

Lady at driving test

A Lady failed 4 times in her driving license test, when she applied for the 5th time the interviewer asked her the same question.

Interviewer : ma’am if you are going at the speed of 120 km/hr and there is a mountain on one side of the road and ditch on the other side and there is a young boy...

A few days ago, i saw my ex got hit with a bus, and i thought “damn, that could have been me!”

But i rememberd i have no driving license

Another blonde joke...

A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just ye...

"You won't believe who I ran into today!"

"Who?"

"I don't know but she's in the hospital and I will probably lose my driving license."

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What a shitty day I had

First my ex got run over by a bus, secondly I got fired and lost my driving license.

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