The Ferrari and the Moped

A man saves up his entire life to buy a ferrari. He goes to the dealership and chooses a red one. As he pulls out of the parking lot he comes to a red light. As he is waiting for the light to change he sees a fat kid pull up next to him on a moped. The kid grins at him showing his puffy cheeks and s...

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What’s the hardest part of riding a moped?

Telling your parents you’re gay.

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”

The doctor replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!”

“That’s a lot of money,” says the old ma...

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Mopeds are for men who want to ride motorcycles

but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas

“Man... I’ll never be as cool as a bicycle or a motorcycle...”

He moped.

A woman cried out that her son had just been hit by a moped!

The driver, nearly at the edge of town, screeched to a stop, returned to the scene of the crime, and said, "Actually its a Vespa." Before fleeing the scene again.

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out

What’s the difference between Amy Winehouse and a moped?

A moped can get to 30.

What do you call a middle aged man on a moped?

An alcoholic.

Three car salesmen have a wreck on the way to work

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says "Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven."

To the first he says "My son, while on Earth did you lead a good life?"
"Oh yes, " says the first man," I had thirty years of marriage to a wonderful woman and I was hones...

Your place or mine?

A man met this one lady at the bar and they talked for a while and were getting along quite well. Some time passed and the bartender announced last call.

"Your place or mine?" said the man.

"It doesn't matter to me, but I must warn you I'm on my menstrual cycle."

"Oh that's okay...

Big girls are like mopeds

I'll get drunk and wreck them too.

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A man at the local bar is very drunk...

A man at the local bar is very drunk and he is asking every single woman at the bar if she would like to go home and have sex with him.
After hours of failure, he tries again and much to his surprise, the woman agrees.
They leave the bar and start walking towards the parking lot, laughing and ...

My Place?

This beautiful woman was sitting at the end of the bar one night. This guy sitting at the other end sees her, he has had a few drinks and decides to go over and talk to her. After a few more drinks together they start getting touchy feely with each other. After making out, the guy looks deep into he...

A young man...

had just bought a brand new sportscar. He was sitting at a red light when an 80 year old wearing a half helmet and goggles pulled up alongside him on a beat up, old moped. As they sat there the old guy began to gawk at his car.

“My goodness, sonny” the old man wheezed. “That's a lotta car ya...

Short joke my dad used to tell me

A man sees a pretty girl in a bar and asks if she wants to go back to his place.

"I can't," she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle."

He leans over and says, "That's okay, I brought my moped."

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Driver asks a guy with a donkey what time it is

This man was riding his moped through the outskirts of town when he sees a man laying down on a hill. Next to the man is a donkey eating some grass. The driver pulls over to ask what time it was.

The sleeping man sticks his hand under his donkey without even lifting his head and grabs the do...

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Male chauvinist pig jokes.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Wha t are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?...

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