A moped is like an ugly woman

It’s great till your friends see you riding one

Old Man on the Fast Moped

Just remembered this one today. It's a great joke for around a campfire.

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Guy's driving down the road in his new Lamborghini. Stops at a light next to an old man on a moped.

The old man looks over and says "Say, that's a pretty spiffy looking car there, son. It looks f...

What do you call a minister on a moped?

Rev.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Ferrari and the Moped

A man saves up his entire life to buy a ferrari. He goes to the dealership and chooses a red one. As he pulls out of the parking lot he comes to a red light. As he is waiting for the light to change he sees a fat kid pull up next to him on a moped. The kid grins at him showing his puffy cheeks and s...

LONG : An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.



Looking at the shiny car ,the old man asks the doctor "What ya driving there sonny?

The doctor replies, “1500+hp Porsche. It cost half a million dollars!


'Why does it cost so much?' Says the old man.


'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' state...

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mopeds are for men who want to ride motorcycles

but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the hardest part of riding a moped?

Telling your parents you’re gay.

The Race!

Johnny was 16 years old and wanted a motorcycle really bad. But his parents said he couldn't get one until he graduated from high school. So, he saved up all his money, and when graduation day came, he threw his graduate cap up in the air and walked right down to the nearest Harley Davidson dealer a...

What’s the difference between Amy Winehouse and a moped?

A moped can get to 30.

A corrupt policeman asking for bribes

There was a corrupt policeman who always stopped people and asked them for bribes. One time he worked all day and didn't stop anyone. He realized as the sun was going down that he didn't have any money in his pocket so he said to himself, “I'm going to stop the next person I see.” Shortly thereafter...

A woman cried out that her son had just been hit by a moped!

The driver, nearly at the edge of town, screeched to a stop, returned to the scene of the crime, and said, "Actually its a Vespa." Before fleeing the scene again.

What do you call a middle aged man on a moped?

An alcoholic.

Big girls are like mopeds

I'll get drunk and wreck them too.

What's the saddest form of transportation?

A moped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Long) A guy driving a brand new convertible Corvette stops at a gas station to fill up on his inaugural drive

(This is my dad's favorite joke)


He gets out of the car, throws a hundred at the attendant to fill it and tells him to make sure not to scratch it, then goes inside to buy some snacks. While he's inside, an old hillbilly wearing an old tatter shirt with suspenders putters up to the gas st...

“Man... I’ll never be as cool as a bicycle or a motorcycle...”

He moped.

Three car salesmen have a wreck on the way to work

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says "Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven."

To the first he says "My son, while on Earth did you lead a good life?"
"Oh yes, " says the first man," I had thirty years of marriage to a wonderful woman and I was hones...

Your place or mine?

A man met this one lady at the bar and they talked for a while and were getting along quite well. Some time passed and the bartender announced last call.

"Your place or mine?" said the man.

"It doesn't matter to me, but I must warn you I'm on my menstrual cycle."

"Oh that's okay...

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A man at the local bar is very drunk...

A man at the local bar is very drunk and he is asking every single woman at the bar if she would like to go home and have sex with him.
After hours of failure, he tries again and much to his surprise, the woman agrees.
They leave the bar and start walking towards the parking lot, laughing and ...

My Place?

This beautiful woman was sitting at the end of the bar one night. This guy sitting at the other end sees her, he has had a few drinks and decides to go over and talk to her. After a few more drinks together they start getting touchy feely with each other. After making out, the guy looks deep into he...

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Male chauvinist pig jokes.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Wha t are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?...

Short joke my dad used to tell me

A man sees a pretty girl in a bar and asks if she wants to go back to his place.

"I can't," she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle."

He leans over and says, "That's okay, I brought my moped."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Driver asks a guy with a donkey what time it is

This man was riding his moped through the outskirts of town when he sees a man laying down on a hill. Next to the man is a donkey eating some grass. The driver pulls over to ask what time it was.

The sleeping man sticks his hand under his donkey without even lifting his head and grabs the do...

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