UPJOKE
europenetherlandsgreecefrancealbaniafinlandgermanyluxembourgestonialithuaniabelgiumportugalitalyspainaustria

European Union Jokes

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,

the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be d...

Why does Germany have the biggest population in the European Union?

Because they are GerMANY.

What do the European Union and the European Onion have in common?

They both make people cry when they're chopped up.

The European Union is like a bad boss.

If everything goes well it’s thanks to it but if something goes wrong it’s your fault.

How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB

The European Union is proposing to build a public toilet in Brussels.

They put the job out to tender. They get in 3 responses.


First in is Hans from Germany. He gets straight to the point. "I'll build it for €30,000."
The Eurocrat behind the desk looks up from his note pad. "Can you give us some more detail, Hans?"
"Ja! €10,000 labour, €10,000 m...

Remember when the UK was part of the European Union?

I remember it like it was yesterday

The year 2192

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si...

I was talking to a girl about the establishment of the 4th Reich when a girl told me that I was being politically incorrect

Apparently the proper term is "European Union"

Everyone gets what they want out of brexit

The Brits get their blue passports and the average iq of the European Union goes up by 10 points.

What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds?

Exit the European Union.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best weight loss In town!

A new fitness center was advertising around the city with their fool-proof method of losing a substantial amount of weight in under an hour!

Tom was an out of shape guy that wanted to lose weight badly, but was skeptical about this new spot.

After hearing many of his friends and colle...

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE . . .
The Italian – throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
The German – carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
The Frenchman – takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese – eats the fly a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.