I stopped drinking water while studying chemistry

My notes say adding water decreases concentration

Queen Victoria didn’t do such a good job keeping drinking water away from toilet water...

but it was still frowned upon to cholera fool.

Your dark humor is like clean drinking water

It’s tasteless.

My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village.

So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend drinking water over soda

Not Dr. Pepper.

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa .

'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in...

How did the idiot drown drinking water?

The toilet seat fell on his head.

(My boyfriend's brother came up with that one when he was a little tot)

those damn vegans still drinking water?!?!

That's a fish's house, you nasty savages!!

Carruthers and Blenkinsop have been lost in the desert for many days, and they just finished the last of their water that morning.

Blenkinsop says "Carruthers, old chap, to be perfectly honest it looks like we're finished," and Carruthers says "You're probably right, old fellow, but never say die, what? You never know what's over the next sand-dune."

Prophetic words, for over the next sand dune they spy what appears to b...

The thirsty criminal

My grandpa told me this gem of a joke. Here it goes...

A fleeing criminal, desperate to escape the police, runs into the desert with hardly any water. Very soon, he runs out of drinking water, and hours later, he is already plodding under the merciless desert sun.

He is close to desper...

Do you suffer from an addiction to water?

Can you not live without your water?

Do you try to quit, and come back to drinking water again?

Do you suffer from any of the following withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit?

* Headache?
* Fatigue?
* Dry throat?
* Dry mouth?
* Darker urine?
* Craving more water...

Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...

Umgawala!

The British came to America wanting to colonize the land some years after it had been discovered by Colombus. With the help of a translator the british ambassador made a speech to the general populous telling them how amazing things would be under the British rule.
"We will make roads for you" he...

A dairy farmer runs into his neighbor at the feed store...

"How's everything going?" the neighbor asks.

"Not too bad" the farmer replies, "but a couple of of my cows have had terrible flatulence lately; the smell is almost too much to bear."

The neighbor laughs, "I know what you mean. A few years ago one of my horses had the very same problem...

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