UPJOKE
copperoreironmagnesiumnickelmetalantimonytincobaltaluminiumleadsulfurisotopesilicatealloy

What kind of metal was the Titanic made out of?

Zinc

A man finds some copper and zinc

A man is out walking one day when he finds some copper and zinc, knowing these are used to make coins he takes them to the government to see what he can get.

There he sits down with a representative of the US mint and says I have here half a grain of copper and 30 grains of zinc, how many ...

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TIL that my Head & Shoulders shampoo's proven HydraZinc formula fights dandruff from the first wash, removing visible flakes and residues, relieving dryness and tight scalp, and leaving my hair smelling great.

I also learned not to forget my phone when I take a shit

There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc...

... because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron.

What did Zinc do when Magnesium knocked on his door?

Vitamin

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Are you made from Na, selenium and xenon?

Because you are sodium SeXe.

Famous people and their mothers

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

The science teacher is in trouble for slapping his student

The parents phones says "I'm sending two coppers right now to charge you with battery."

He says "You can't charge a battery with two coppers. You need a copper and a zinc."

A student asks his chemistry teacher

Student: Do we get zinc sulfate when zinc reacts with sulfate?

Teacher: I zinc SO

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Chemistry Puns

What do you do with a dying chemist? If you can't helium, you might as well barium. That joke was quite the knee-slapper, wasn't it. I certainly slapped my neon that one. It was just so-dium funny. Why do chemists like high altitudes? The views arsenic. If you're not laughing yet, don't worry. I'm o...

I asked my girlfriend if she thought chemistry jokes are funny...

...she said" I don't zinc so"

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The Nazis party can be separated into 3 things

Sodium Zinc and sulphur

Nelson Mandela was playing golf with Gobrevich Kimler.

They both teed off on the first hole, a 420 yard par 4 with trees on the right and bunkers on both sides. There were also trees on the left, and bunkers in the middle. Mandela used his driver and shot it 250 meters straight down the middle of the fairway, hopping over all the bunkers.

"Excell...

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