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Downloaded Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just downloaded porn but the file is compressed

sigh.... *unzips*

I´ve just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody!

I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.

I wish I hadn’t downloaded Reddit.

I regreddit.

"I've a downloaded copy of Prince Harry's book 'Spare'. Do you wish to read it?"

"Is it a pdf file?"



"Nope, thats his uncle. A totally different Prince"

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

I just downloaded an ancestry test kit

And frankly, I don’t care about where I’m from. I just want to know who I’m allowed to make fun of

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button

He had to pay in order to use additional features

Ever since I downloaded AdBlock on my computer...

All the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest.

I just downloaded Luis Suarez best moments video

It was only three megabytes

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

Ever since my buddy downloaded Grindr he's been so excited about it

He can barely sit down.

I just downloaded my Biology notes but couldn’t open them.

We were studying the helicase. I then had to Unzip the file to open

I downloaded corn onto my computer.

It messed up the kernel.

I accidentally downloaded Timber instead of Tinder the other day

Unfortunately I didn’t hook up with anyone, but I did have a lot of trees fall for me

My friends secretly downloaded a 700MB exe file into my laptop.

I think it's a huge setup.

Cop: We suspect you have illegally downloaded all the editions of Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Man: Wait! I can explain everything!

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

Steven Soderberg’s movie *Contagion* becomes the most downloaded movie of the year 2023

...with 17 downloads

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and

Received a torrent of abuse.

I downloaded the last Super Bowl and finally watched it on VLC

Turns out you can love the player and hate the game

The other day I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland for an assignment...

was shocked to see that the total file size was 1GB.

What do you call a man who illegally downloaded a documentary about circles?

A *πrate*

I downloaded Friedrich Nietszche's voice for my navigation system

Now it just tells me to find my own way.

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet…

When I'd finished, it said, "Saved."

I downloaded some hymns for my ipod

New praylist.

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

Downloaded that ap where you post your location when you're drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it's called Grinder.

The real plus is that I haven't paid for a single cup yet!

The fellas around here are just so friendly.

I downloaded a torrent the other day and the next day 2 agents knocked on my door accusing me of being a Pirate.

I told them I can’t be a pirate and they asked why is that? I showed them my Reddit profile and said “See, no gold”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby download

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad ...

The CIA found evidence that Osama Bin Laden had downloaded a lot of videos about how to crochet

Turns out he was trying to replace all those lost afghans

Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee?

He was charged with Petty theft.

In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you’d have to duplicate those on your own.

That’s why they say you can’t steal music without repercussion.

A lot of people say that I don’t have any Friends, but they are wrong.

I have all 10 seasons downloaded on my computer.

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars.

Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

Hi-Tech Tire Flat Joke, revisited

I got a flat in a high-tech tire on my bicycle.

I contacted the manufacturer, and they downloaded a patch.

Unfortunately, it was a cheap, 2-bit patch

Only covered a quarter of the byte the dog took out of my tire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My roommate was going out on a blind date so I told her about this phone app for her own safety.

I said: "It's called *Mum! Are you OK?* and what is does is, it puts a button on your display which you can press and then a couple of minutes later your phone will ring and the display will say MUM. So if you get there and your date looks a bit creepy you just touch the button, put your phone away,...

My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

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