Jesus Saves

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. The y had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button

He had to pay in order to use additional features

I just downloaded Luis Suarez best moments video

It was only three megabytes

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just downloaded porn but the file is compressed

sigh.... *unzips*

I just downloaded my Biology notes but couldn’t open them.

We were studying the helicase. I then had to Unzip the file to open

Downloaded that ap where you post your location when you're drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it's called Grinder.

The real plus is that I haven't paid for a single cup yet!

The fellas around here are just so friendly.

My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.

The other day I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland for an assignment...

was shocked to see that the total file size was 1GB.

Steven Soderberg’s movie *Contagion* becomes the most downloaded movie of the year 2023

...with 17 downloads

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby download

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad ...

New flight simulator.

I downloaded a new 737 Max flight simulator, but it keeps crashing.

I downloaded a torrent the other day and the next day 2 agents knocked on my door accusing me of being a Pirate.

I told them I can’t be a pirate and they asked why is that? I showed them my Reddit profile and said “See, no gold”

I've just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody...

I think it was filmed in a cinema though as I see a little silhouetto of a man...

I downloaded the last Super Bowl and finally watched it on VLC

Turns out you can love the player and hate the game

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

Cop: We suspect you have illegally downloaded all the editions of Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Man: Wait! I can explain everything!

My friends secretly downloaded a 700MB exe file into my laptop.

I think it's a huge setup.

Ever since my buddy downloaded Grindr he's been so excited about it

He can barely sit down.

How did the programmer cure his constipation?

He downloaded a log.

I accidentally downloaded Timber instead of Tinder the other day

Unfortunately I didn’t hook up with anyone, but I did have a lot of trees fall for me

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and

Received a torrent of abuse.

Downloaded a new app, forced to wear a Santa costume now for the next two months

Turns out I didn't read the Santa clause.

In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you’d have to duplicate those on your own.

That’s why they say you can’t steal music without repercussion.

What do you call a man who illegally downloaded a documentary about circles?

A *πrate*

I downloaded a book on Ethics from the PirateBay

I hadn't gotten to that chapter yet

The CIA found evidence that Osama Bin Laden had downloaded a lot of videos about how to crochet

Turns out he was trying to replace all those lost afghans

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet…

When I'd finished, it said, "Saved."

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars.

Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

Epic Chinese Movie Translation

While on vacation and downloading a DVD copy of War of the Worlds (2005) I laugh so hard from the English subtitle of what I downloaded and it turns out that it was a Pirated copy of the War of the Worlds.

Ray: It's OK...
(Subtitle: Do not fine, you is just fine.)

Rachel: Is Robby...

There was nothing actually wrong with the Note 7...

All those people just downloaded my mixtape

I downloaded Friedrich Nietszche's voice for my navigation system

Now it just tells me to find my own way.

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