This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

People ask me why I browse Reddit while pooping

It’s so I can look at shitposts while on my shitpost

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do farmers browse when they want to masturbate?

Cornhub.

(NSFW) A redneck bought a computer and he was trying to browse internet with his friend.

They came across a shopping website which they mistook for a dating website and went to the lingerie section .

After a long selection, his friend said " look this woman wearing red lingerie is really gorgeous and is only $49.99. order her" .

So he went and ordered it .

2 weeks l...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I often browse r/Jokes while on the toilet

Just for shits and giggles

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

These days whenever I browse the most popular videos on Pornhub I have to ask myself...

What's this world cumming to?

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our com...

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A lady walks into a luxury car dealership

A lady walks into a luxury car dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line BMW and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accide...

A boy, his dad, and his grandpa all browse r/jokes and laugh too hard and pee their pants...

Guess you could say it runs in their jeans!

As a parent, I only let my kids browse r/highqualitygifs

Because choosy moms choose Gif

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I browse TikTok daily but only on the toilet...

Because I don’t want the shit on my phone to get lonely

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

I browsed /r/jokes yesterday

Well I actually browsed it 5 years ago, but it's basically the same.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

When I browse Reddit, I feel like a proctologist...

I see way too many assholes.

How do trees browse the internet?

They log in.

I recently began using TOR to browse anonymously on my phone

Sent from 123.248.188.75

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Mr Simpson owned a high end clothing store.

One day, just around closing up, a pretty young woman walks in, browses for a bit and ends up staring at a very expensive designer dress standing proudly in the centre of the store.
Mr Simpson notices, quietly walks up beside her and says 'it's a beauty, isn't it?'
She glances at him, sighs ...

Most people browse on Google or Bing...

But I browse on fleek

One day, a new redditor is browsing /r/jokes and finds that it is nothing but upvoted posts with numbers in the titles.

Confused, he PMs an OP with a lot of upvotes and inquires, "What's up with all the number posts? What's so funny about numbers?"

"Well, you see, we got so many reposts on /r/jokes that we decided to just number all of the old OC and now we just post the numbers for the original jokes; it's mu...

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

He browses through a cattlelog.

(Morbid) As a mortician, I try to be an honest salesman...

So a couple came in needing a casket for their dead baby. They had already browsed through our catalog as I walked up trying my best to be my most sensitive. They whispered to me through tears that they had picked out a beautiful casket for their dear beloved son. I had a conundrum to face. Afte...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I was at a buffet.

This rather large woman walked up to me, as I browsed the treats.

"Mind if I take one of those doughnuts just there?" she asked me.



"Help yourself," I replied.



"Thanks," she smiled.



"No," I added, "I mean help yourself...and don't have any more fuc...

A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store

He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "F*ck you, get out, stay out!" The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A redditor walks in to bar...

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"

"It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."

"That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender.

"I should warn you", the redditor says, "I b...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Why do they evacuate women and children first?

You can't fix shit with all that screaming and crying.

(**Yes, you can evacuate people.** Check #2 here: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/evacuate)

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

*emailing dick pic

Computer: Insert file

Me: ok *browse the file

Computer: Try again

Me: *did it again

Computer: Try again

Me: *tries again

Computer: Harder!

Me: what?

Computer: what

Welcome to the Reddit stand-up comedy show

\*I enter the stage, applause erupts\*

Alright alright reddit! How you feelin' today?

\*applause\*

Alright! So, show of hands, how many of you are redditors?

\*everyone raises their hands\*

Haha, maybe not too surprising. Because you all look depressed and out of s...

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