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What do farmers browse when they want to masturbate?

Cornhub.

(NSFW) A redneck bought a computer and he was trying to browse internet with his friend.

They came across a shopping website which they mistook for a dating website and went to the lingerie section .

After a long selection, his friend said " look this woman wearing red lingerie is really gorgeous and is only $49.99. order her" .

So he went and ordered it .

2 weeks l...

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These days whenever I browse the most popular videos on Pornhub I have to ask myself...

What's this world cumming to?

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I often browse r/Jokes while on the toilet

Just for shits and giggles

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our com...

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So a girl browses for guys to date on a website

She demands three things: that he must never hurt her, that he will never run away, and that he must be very good in bed.

A while later, her doorbell rings and she answers the door. To her surprise, it was a man with no arms, no legs, just like Nick Vujicic.

He introduces himself: "Hi,...

A boy, his dad, and his grandpa all browse r/jokes and laugh too hard and pee their pants...

Guess you could say it runs in their jeans!

As a parent, I only let my kids browse r/highqualitygifs

Because choosy moms choose Gif

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I browse TikTok daily but only on the toilet...

Because I don’t want the shit on my phone to get lonely

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

He browses through a cattlelog.

You browse the channels all night until you catch a glimpse of what you think is a nipple among the static.

You turn back to the channel in question to occasionally hear some grunting through the snow. You figure now is the best time if ever and for 30 minutes the picture finally comes in clear enough for you to discover that you have been spanking it to Mexican Wrestling.

I browsed /r/jokes yesterday

Well I actually browsed it 5 years ago, but it's basically the same.

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When I browse Reddit, I feel like a proctologist...

I see way too many assholes.

A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store

He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "F*ck you, get out, stay out!" The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"

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A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store.

She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right ...

How do trees browse the internet?

They log in.

I recently began using TOR to browse anonymously on my phone

Sent from 123.248.188.75

One day, a new redditor is browsing /r/jokes and finds that it is nothing but upvoted posts with numbers in the titles.

Confused, he PMs an OP with a lot of upvotes and inquires, "What's up with all the number posts? What's so funny about numbers?"

"Well, you see, we got so many reposts on /r/jokes that we decided to just number all of the old OC and now we just post the numbers for the original jokes; it's mu...

Most people browse on Google or Bing...

But I browse on fleek

A man walks into an Apple store

A man walks into an Apple store and begins to browse some of the items. He looks at phones, then the computers. He finally decides to go to the tablets. In this area, there were a lot more people than in other places.

Suddenly, he released a massive fart that everybody in a 30 ft radius heard...

A man walks into the particle store

A man walks into the particle store to buy particles to make atoms. He browses, finds what he needs and pays for it.

However, when looking on his receipt afterwards, he sees that the clerk forgot to ring up an item. He says "Sir, you forgot the neutrons". The clerk looks up at him and says: "...

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A redditor walks in to bar...

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"

"It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."

"That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender.

"I should warn you", the redditor says, "I b...

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*emailing dick pic

Computer: Insert file

Me: ok *browse the file

Computer: Try again

Me: *did it again

Computer: Try again

Me: *tries again

Computer: Harder!

Me: what?

Computer: what

Welcome to the Reddit stand-up comedy show

\*I enter the stage, applause erupts\*

Alright alright reddit! How you feelin' today?

\*applause\*

Alright! So, show of hands, how many of you are redditors?

\*everyone raises their hands\*

Haha, maybe not too surprising. Because you all look depressed and out of s...

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Ever-so-slightly

A fellow gets a job in a sex shop. His new boss shows him around. "Everything's marked. We've got a simple register. There's only two things to remember." He points behind the counter. "Deluxe white dildos are $100 and the Deluxe black ones are $150."

"White $100, black $150. Got it."<...

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Why do they evacuate women and children first?

You can't fix shit with all that screaming and crying.

(**Yes, you can evacuate people.** Check #2 here: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/evacuate)

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