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Yesterday my brother uploaded a status on Facebook.

He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"

I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.

I uploaded a picture of a walnut but people complained that it was too blurry.

Now I have to deal with the nut post clarity.

I've uploaded all my Satan-worshipping sessions to youtube

You can guess they've all been demonetized.

What do you call a melodious fart uploaded online?

A SoundCloud

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's Inauguration Speech Was Uploaded onto Pornhub

"Rich White Man Fucks Entire Country"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I uploaded a picture of our newborn baby to Facebook.

I probably should have cropped out my wife's vagina.

I uploaded a video to YouTube of me filming around my windowless house.

Zero views.

I uploaded a video on YouTube about how to clean your fingers.

The thumbnail was dirty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother used to pose for porn magazines in the 70’s. A few years ago, someone uploaded a bunch of her pictures to the internet.

I see them from time to time, but they’re pretty hard to come by.

Steve Jobs didn’t die…

He got uploaded to The Cloud.

Ted decided to go start a youtube channel

This youtube channel was solely for making diss tracks about famous youtubers. Unfortunately, his first one was not successful, it was incredibly bad, and so he got thousands of dislikes. Undiscouraged, Ted made a few more diss tracks and uploaded them, only to get hate messages and death threats so...

Have you heard about the new bush-o-matic 3000?

It's the latest piece of kit where you can upload an image into the on-board computer, crop out the back ground, set the machine on the floor and point it towards the hedge of your choice.

You press "GO" and the machine flies up into the air and starts cutting out a 3D sculpture of the image...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voodoo Dick

[NSFW]

A husband whose wife is notorious for cheating on him while he is away on business is at his wits end with the whole thing.

He loves his wife dearly, and explained to her that this cannot continue. He has a long trip coming up soon and knows that she is going to cheat on him if ...

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