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Dvds Jokes

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What's missing at the end of every porn DVDs?

Gag Reels

For sale. George Foreman grill set and Mohammed Ali dvds.

Both boxed.

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For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs.

Or without porn, on 54 DVDs.

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back

Luckily I was the one facing the TV

I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.

It's Tangled and Frozen.

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My girlfriend's moving in with me this week so this morning I burned all my porn DVDs in the garden.

Now all I have to do is burn the ones in the shed, the house, and the garage.

[NSFW] A mother and father are snooping around in their son's bedroom.

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines.
The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this...

I asked my local Walmart where they kept their Terminator DVDs.

"Aisle B, back"

A man was arrested for stealing yoga dvds

He's now doing a long stretch

How do scratched dvds get around?

They skip

I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow some Disney DVDs...

He said, "You can take Cars and Lion King but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

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I found a ton of old porn DVDs in my basement that must have been there for years.

As I looked through them, all I kept thinking to myself was, “Damn, some of these girls are teenagers now.”

DVDs died beacuse of Torrents. Hence,

DVD Rip.

A guy is buying some game DVDs, some magazines and a six pack.

Cashier : "You must be single."

Guy: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

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One day a mom was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found some BDSM porn DVDs

Needless to say she was very upset. She took it all and waited until his father came home and showed it all to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. 

She finally asked him, " What should we do about this?" 

Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you sh...

After my grandfather died, his lawyer told us that all of his assets were Frozen.

Why he bought so many DVDs of the movie—no one knows.

There was a man who was in love with tractors

He really loved his tractors, he had tractor posters on his walls, dvds about tractors, he owned a lot of tractors…this man loved his tractors.
But there was one thing he loved more than his tractors, his lovely wife. One day she was out in the fields and she got crushed by a tractor, she was squ...

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A dad buys a robot that slaps people when they lie...

He decides to test it when his son comes back from school.

He asks "Son, where were you today?", so he says "at school". He gets a slap.

A little confused, he tells his dad that they were watching DVDs. The dad asks "What kind of DVD?"

The son says Toy Story. The robot slaps him...

[First Date] Her: So what do you do for a hobby?

Him: I collect complete season DVDs of 90s sitcoms.

Her: Do you have Friends?

Him: No.

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What's the difference between a DVD player and a cow's anus?

If you answered 'I don't know,' I'm certainly not letting you borrow any of **my** DVDs in the future!

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I fucked a DVD.

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it sta...

My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up of me making fun of her height.

So tonight I’m going to make it up to her.

I’ve got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show.

When she gets in from work I’m going to order her favorite takeaway which we’ll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs.

Then afterwards I’m going ...

I've got all of Justin Biebers CDs......

...and if I can get passed his home security again I'll have all his dvds as well.

Does a one legged duck swim in circles?

What time does a duck wake up in the morning?
-At the quack of dawn!!!

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. then tells the bartender:
-just put it on my bill!!!!

What's a duck's favorite snack?
-Cheese and quackers!!!

What did the duck say after hearing one of my...

Have you heard about Terry the tractor lover?

He was the ultimate tractor enthusiast, his bedroom was plastered with tractor posters, his bed was adorned with a tractor bed spread, tractor toys littered the floor and tractor maintenance DVDs dominated his shelves.

Shortly after Terry's 18th birthday (where he of course had a tractor bir...

So there's this boy who loves tractors

He lived on a farm, and watched the tractors drive by all day. He subscribed to tractor magazines, collected tractor figurines, had loads of tractor posters on his wall and even had some DVDs of tractor documentaries. He lived his whole childhood loving tractors.
On his 17th birthday, his dad sa...

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