UPJOKE
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I accidentally broke two of my dad's Queen CDs.

Now I want to break three.

I was going through my old CDs and casset tapes.

I was on a journey of self-discography.

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Do you like tapes and CDs?

Cuz I'm gonna tape my dick to your forehead, so you can see deez nuts.

my girlfriend told my to throw my Meat loaf CDs out

I would do anything for love but I won't do that

I've got all of Justin Biebers CDs......

...and if I can get passed his home security again I'll have all his dvds as well.

I sold a thousand CDs but only made enough money to buy one ice cream.

Probably because each CD was Milli Vanilli.

Apparently, someone stole a few of my Rap CDs.

Oh well, no biggie.

Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs?

In Iraq

I was going to buy some classical music CDs...

But I was too baroque.

I phoned 999 and told the guy that two men had just broken into my house and stolen my CDs.

"Could you please give me a description of them?" the man asked.



"Certainly," I replied. "They're round plastic discs on which music or other digital information is stored."

Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?

Because his mixtape was to die for...

That’s it; I’ve given up on buying CDs and MP3s. From now on, I will only buy records.

And that’s vinyl.

I've had some pain in my stomach ever since I ate those Radiohead and Arctic Monkeys CDs.

I think I've got indiegestion.

I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition.

It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.

I've never been on top of trends, I guess

When everyone else was burning CDs, I was still burning books

I'm starting a company that will sell electronic storage devices and almonds.

I'm calling it "CDs Nuts"

A man walks into a music store.

A man walks into a music store to buy a record for his father. As he approaches the counter with his record he notices that the clerk has put out Nickelback CDs next to the register with a tag thats reads "CD special, $0.05 no returns."

The man looks at the clerk and says " $0.05 for a Nickel...

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A bear and a rabbit walk through a forest

after walking for several hours they meet a fairy. The fairy says: „Each of you has three wishes, but be careful what you wish for, because i cant return them. The bear begins and says: „I wish every bear in this forest would be female, except me.“ wish granted. The rabbit then wishes for a red bicy...

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How to Write a Paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you conce...

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F#ck Fame

A guy goes into a recording studio and hands the engineer what must be 50 grand in cash. He says, "I want you to record exactly what I say, then use the leftover money to print up as many CDs as you can, and send them to every record label head, A&R rep, talent scout and manager in the business....

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