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Streaming Jokes

It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting “it’s a boy” “it’s a boy” with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?

College

What happened to the fly that started streaming?

He got swatted.

I want to watch Hamlet on a streaming platform. Does anyone know which one it's on?

Is it Tubi or not Tubi?

Prices of video streaming services annually has now been concluded..

Netflix: £71.99
Prime Video: £79.99
Disney+: £59.99
University: £9200

I dumped my girlfriend after she falsely claimed Netflix was the cheapest streaming service.

I refuse to associate with a Hulu-cost denier.

I love the new trend in streaming films; the hero always gets the girl in the end.

And he’s never sure which end.

What do you call an All-Furry Streaming Service?

hUwU

Did you hear about that new anime streaming service?

Its called Huwlu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Streaming has made me less Christian

I mean, imagine having no viewers when you were promised God was always watching, but he lurks in chat and never subscribes. What a dick!

What is Megatron least favorite streaming service?

Amazon PRIME

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the most popular streaming service among men with a micro penis?

Peacock

In the age of streaming, I don't get why I have to watch re-runs from the 60/70s whenever I turn on the TV

Inflation going rampant, NASA going to the moon, Russia/US on the brink of war.....

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks...

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No" replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishma...

A clever Russian is planning on a streaming service exclusively for banned films.

He's going to call it Nyetflix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just tried streaming that new Bohemian Rhapsody movie but the quality was shit...

...I could only see a little silouetto of a man!

What is H.P. Lovecraft's favorite streaming service?

ctHULhU

What’s all the fuss about Twitch streaming?

Like, comment, subscribe and I’ll tell you

Do you guys know which has become the most expensive streaming service of all times ?

University

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why we rarely see male live streaming masturbation like camgirls?

Because the stream ends in 2 minutes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Soviet communist lies on his death bed, on the verge of death. His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, "Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me."

"Oh comrade, it is In the past and all is forgiven" says Dimitri.

The Communist then turns to another friend.

"Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me."

"No more hard feelings, my friend. You are f...

What streaming service do evil demonic squids watch tv on?

Cthulu

My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead

He calls it *Nyetflix*

Two prawns….

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea one day. The first one was called Justin and the second one was called Kristian. They were continually being chased and threatened by the sharks that inhabited the area.

Eventually Justin had had enough. He said to Kristian, "I'm fed up with being a ...

A young couple was getting ready to give birth to their first child,

and they had determined that the child should not be named until after it was born, so that they could meet it and make the name based on that first magical moment. On the day of the birth, a beautiful baby girl was born and the parents were instantly smitten.

"It's 'Love.'" said the mother....

I have decided to pass my time in self-quarantine by streaming Sylvester Stallone movies.

Unfortunately, I'm off to a Rocky start.

With some many streaming services it's difficult to pick between Disney+ and Hulu Plus

Personally, I prefer LGBTQ+

The husband was ready for the last major hurricane to threaten their home, but his wife was not.

When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, his wife was rooted to the spot.

She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with...

How does Twitch (Streaming Site) Chat make money?

Kappatalism!

What streaming site do eldritch horrors use?

Cth-Hulu

They say an 80s D&D TV show couldn't work on a modern internet streaming platform

But Stranger Things has happened.

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that t...

What would a streaming service run by The Great Old One be called?

C’Hulu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tallest hotel in the world was streaming a famous Pixar movie when they pulled the plug mid way.

They fucked Up on so many levels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I named my WiFi network after my wife.

They’re both super temperamental, and seem to have an issue with me streaming porn to the bedroom.

Despite Putin's recent crackdowns, a new streaming service for banned movies has launched in Russia.

It's called Nyetflix.

For the 11th Day of Christmas.....What do reindeer hang on their Christmas tree?

Hornaments.


Stolen from a streaming Christmas show ....The Cleaner

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