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Donating Jokes

I tried donating blood today. Never again!!

Too many stupid questions. Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from?? Why is it in a bucket???

When I die, I’m donating my body to science.

It’s the only way I’ll ever get into medical school.

I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said...

Sorry. We don't want any Trouble.

I'm thinking of donating my body to science

It's taking up too much space in the freezer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donating

A woman (Tiffany) has fallen on hard times lately. She sees an ad online stating this company will buy her eggs for $200 a pop.

She goes to the building and gets in the elevator and presses the button for the 2nd floor. A man gets on and presses "5." The woman recognizes him as a friend from ...

What's a guy doing when he's donating sperm for money?

A nut job

A man who donated one kidney is a hero.

Yet I get investigated for donating 10???

My only form of income is donating blood

It's sucking the life out of me

Donating Kidneys

So a man donates a kidney a gets praised,

But I donate 5 kidneys and get arrested?

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

I've always hated donating blood.

They always ask way too many questions. Like, "Where did you get the blood" or "Whose blood is this". Like come on, I'm donating just be grateful.

I absolutely hate donating blood. As soon as you walk through the door you get bombarded with questions.

I absolutely hate when they ask
“Where did you get it?”
“Why is it in a bucket?”

Donating Sperm

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked th...

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I’m planning on donating my organs when I die.

Microbiology students are going to have a fucking blast with my penis.

I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage

Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......

I just found out you can get paid for donating sperm!

All that money that's just slipped through my fingers.

When talking about the ammo Remington was donating to Ukraine a friend asked who it was for.

My second friend said Ukraine.

I said Russians.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub is now donating money to bee preservation for every video you watch on their new site...

I guess I’m gonna go single-handedly save the bees!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl meets a guy at the donation clinic.

He asks her, "So what are you donating today?". She replies, "I'm giving blood, I get $25 for it! What are you here for?". He smiles and says "Oh I'm donating semen. I get $150 for it." The girl is shocked and outraged. The next month, the same guy sees the same girl and asks, "Oh you here giving bl...

I just won $1,000,000 from the lottery and I'm donating a quarter to charity!

Not sure what I'm going to do with the left over $999,999.75 though.

I tried donating to Autism Speaks

Apparently they only take money

A guy walks into a recovery room after donating blood.

A woman asks him how he feels.

Guy: I feel fine, but I doubt it would help someone.

Woman: why do you have to be so negative?

Guy: I can’t help it. It’s in my blood.

Doctor: "Have you ever thought of donating organs after your death?"

Man: " Yeah, I will donate my brain"
Doctor: "Good, all tiny bits help"

Someone arrived at the hospital bleeding profusely. He saw a preson donating blood.

He said "I hope that preson is a type O."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear Tampax is donating slightly defective tampons to charities?

No strings attached

The Olympic skier Picabo Street made headlines by donating enough money to build a new hospital.

To thank her they named a wing of the hospital after her. The Picabo ICU.

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I tried donating to the itty-bitty titty committee...

But they don't really need the support

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A man is touring a hospital to see how they operate before potentially donating a large sum of money

The director giving him the tour is taking him around and showing him all of the different rooms. As they’re walking, they run into a man who’s masturbating. The director apologizes to both the masturbating man as well as the potential donor. Once they are out of the room, he explains that the man h...

Don't feel bad about not donating to blind peoples charities...

They were never going to see it anyway.

Always give 100% in everything you do!

Except when donating blood.

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

"Cancer stole our jobs!"

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