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Donating

A woman (Tiffany) has fallen on hard times lately. She sees an ad online stating this company will buy her eggs for $200 a pop.

She goes to the building and gets in the elevator and presses the button for the 2nd floor. A man gets on and presses "5." The woman recognizes him as a friend from ...

I tried donating blood today

NEVER AGAIN!!!
Too many stupid questions
Who’s blood is it?
Where did you get it?
Why is it in a bucket?

I just won $1,000,000 from the lottery and I'm donating a quarter to charity!

Not sure what I'm going to do with the left over $999,999.75 though.

I'm thinking of donating my body to science

It's taking up too much space in the freezer.

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A man is touring a hospital to see how they operate before potentially donating a large sum of money

The director giving him the tour is taking him around and showing him all of the different rooms. As they’re walking, they run into a man who’s masturbating. The director apologizes to both the masturbating man as well as the potential donor. Once they are out of the room, he explains that the man h...

I just found out you can get paid for donating sperm!

All that money that's just slipped through my fingers.

The Olympic skier Picabo Street made headlines by donating enough money to build a new hospital.

To thank her they named a wing of the hospital after her. The Picabo ICU.

When I die, I’m donating my body to science.

It’s the only way I’ll ever get into medical school.

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I’m planning on donating my organs when I die.

Microbiology students are going to have a fucking blast with my penis.

A guy walks into a recovery room after donating blood.

A woman asks him how he feels.

Guy: I feel fine, but I doubt it would help someone.

Woman: why do you have to be so negative?

Guy: I can’t help it. It’s in my blood.

Someone arrived at the hospital bleeding profusely. He saw a preson donating blood.

He said "I hope that preson is a type O."

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Pornhub is now donating money to bee preservation for every video you watch on their new site...

I guess I’m gonna go single-handedly save the bees!

Donating Kidneys

So a man donates a kidney a gets praised,

But I donate 5 kidneys and get arrested?

Donating sperm is more lucrative than donating blood...

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the ...

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Did you hear Tampax is donating slightly defective tampons to charities?

No strings attached

Women can receive up to $8,000 for donating their eggs. Can you imagine if men were compensated the same amount for their donation?

I’d have a sock at home worth $72,000

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What do you say after donating your blood to another man so it’s not gay?

No hemo.

Doctor: "Have you ever thought of donating organs after your death?"

Man: " Yeah, I will donate my brain"
Doctor: "Good, all tiny bits help"

My only form of income is donating blood

It's sucking the life out of me

I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage

Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......

I've always hated donating blood.

They always ask way too many questions. Like, "Where did you get the blood" or "Whose blood is this". Like come on, I'm donating just be grateful.

NSFW A lady was queueing up at the donating line at a sperm bank.

A helper goes up to her and tells her:"Ma'am, you are queueing in the wrong line. This is the line to donate sperms."

The woman stares at him for a second. She then points at her mouth and goes:"Mmm! Mmm!"

I’m never again donating a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon.

They just take the money and run.

I tried donating to Autism Speaks

Apparently they only take money

I always suspected that my neighbors had weird traditions, and it was confirmed when I saw them donating their deceased

It was a dead giveaway

Honey I want to donate my clothes

Wife: Thinking of donating my clothes which I am not using anymore

Husband: No point donating, you can trash those

Wife: there are lots of women who are hungry and depraved, they could use my clothes

Husband: honey, if your dress fits another woman do you think they would have e...

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

Don't feel bad about not donating to blind peoples charities...

They were never going to see it anyway.

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I tried donating to the itty-bitty titty committee...

But they don't really need the support

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