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Alms Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two beggars

It is Easter Sunday in front of Saint Sophia’s Cathedral in Constantinople sometime during the Crusades.

Two beggars are sitting in front of the cathedral.

One is wearing a tattered suit of armor and is covered in bandages. In front of him is a sign: “Give Alms to a poor Crusader who ...

A priest and a rabbi are having a chat

The priest says “you know what I do with the alms at the end of the mass every Sunday?

- no, says the rabbi

- I draw a line on the floor of the church, and I throw the alms in the air. Everything on the right is for God, everything on the left is for me.”

And the rabbi replies...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young priest’s education

A young priest, straight out of seminary, is hearing confessions.

The first parishioner says, “Bless me father for I have sinned. I cheated a man out of $100 this week. Then I went downtown, found a prostitute and got a blow job.” The priest, who had never heard of a blow job hesitates a...

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