UPJOKE
signagreepledgewritesupporttakeapproveconcursanctionsubscriptionrubricatesubscribe topurchasebuyendorse

r/Jokes Has 19 Million subscribers!

It's amazing what 7 jokes can do

We have passed 10 million subscribers. Thank you very much for joining us.

Sincerely Coronavirus

I love how all these young YouTubers are getting into Classic Rock.

They are always telling everyone “Don’t forget to like Cher, and subscribe.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rural farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Redditor subscribe to r/poop and r/jokes? NSFW

For shits and giggles.

I told my friend to subscribe to r/jokes.

He said, “But the jokes are garbage.”

I said, “They aren’t garbage, they’re recycled!”

If you have a child, you can name them “one million subscribers on YouTube”

Then you can tell people you hit one million subscribers on YouTube

I installed a wind turbine in my yard if you want pics..

Subscribe to my onlyfans site

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redditor is searching for the funniest joke of all time, so he subscribes to r/jokes.

After a short while, and a few small chuckles, he realises he's reading the same shit over and over again, post after post.

"I'm never going to find a real joke", he thinks.

He sighs and tilts his head in dismay. Looking down he starts to read the thread and it hits him...

Do you know a pirates favorite letter?

Of course you do, you are subscribed to r/Jokes.

Why is the Loch Ness Monster subscribed to r/gonewild?

For the free-tiddy.

r/jokes has over 18 million subscribers

And I’m still amazed at how much attention 12 jokes can bring

What did the vertigo afflicted YouTuber say to his subscribers?

Hey, what's up guys!?

It's 2098, and a man is on r/Jokes.

The number of subscribed accounts has grown into the billions, but to the man's shock, the top-upvoted post of the day is simply the number "72,423".

When he goes into the comments section and asks what it is, he is promptly told that every joke has been told so many times, they've assigned n...

Anyone who subscribes to r/Jokes should be tested for Coronavirus

One of the symptoms of the disease is having no taste.

Subscriptions

Steve and Cliff are having this talk. Steve says, "My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy for the same reason." Cliff says, "Why?"

Steve says, "Because with both magazines, I get to see places I'll never get to visit."

An r/Jokes subscriber was fencing...

His opponent was confused because he was fully on the offensive and made not even one defensive move.

After the game, the opponent asked him about his unorthodox technique.

He replied, "Oh yeah, I only know how to riposte."

I recently subscribed to Asian Maritime History Monthly...

but haven't received a single issue. Then I remembered I had "No junk mail" on my door.


This is the worst, super specific pun I've come up with so far.

I met a guy who was a r/jokes subscriber.

Funnily enough he remembers all the jokes he ever heard.

So I asked him, "How can you remember all the freakin' jokes?"

He replied, "Its hard to forget when you are reminded every minute."

How many people subscribed to r/ jokes does it take to change a light bulb?

7



1 to get the light bulb, 1 to make a joke about getting a light bulb, 1 to put it in, 1 to make a joke about putting it in, 1 to make a joke about the situation, me to repost the joke, and 1 to break the bulb so we can start farming for karma again.

I made a video about the symbiotic relationships between fungus and algae

Don't forget to lichen subscribe!

My friend recently subscribed to HBO and asked me if I could help him with the name of the disaster TV show he had been hearing everyone talk about at work.

Apparently, it's not Game of Thrones S8.

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

Hello, Im here to subscribe to the gym

+Hello, I'm here to subscribe to the gym
-Are you here because of a New Year Resolution?
+Yes
-We have a one day plan, it includes 4 selfies in the weight lifting area
+Perfect

What’s the difference between a good fencer and the average r/jokes subscriber?

A good fencer ripostes after a successful parry, while the average subscriber of this subreddit reposts an unsuccessful joke.

r/Jokes subscribers decide to make a meal. What is the main ingredient?

Copypasta.

I finally found an active Hillary Clinton sub with a lot of subscribers!

/r/politics

Finally unsubscribed from r/nostalgia

The posts there just aren't what they used to be.

Even with 4 million subscribers, /r/jokes sounds like a big empty hall.

I can hear jokes echoing again and again.

I recently subscribed to a "Spice of the Month" club

The thyme has come today...

“According to a new report, Netflix is losing subscribers and 130,000 people have stopped watching.

It all happened after one guy changed his password.”

.

- Credit: Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (a rare actually good joke by Fallon I heard while my mom was watching)

Is the subscribed to r/jokes number a joke?

I laughed but still. I find it unlikely that a quarter billion people subscribed to r/jokes

I accidentally subscribed to the "married man" edition of Playboy.

It's got the same centerfold every month.

Subscribers to Bread Enthusiast Monthly were upset when the July edition was all about flat bread. They said it was too big of a change from all the magazine's usual topics.

In actuality, it was a naan-issue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things not to say after sex:

– You are better than your sister.

– When do I put the condom on?

– There’s money on the counter.

– Alright who’s gonna help me rebury this?

– Do you have aids ? I don’t want to get it again.

– Yeah, definitely gay.

– It was better when you were sleeping....

I subscribed to a weekly email about the latest watches...

I now know that’s I’m on somekind of watch list

Today I found a Youtube channel about moss

They told me to lichen subscribe

/r/Jokes hits 2 Million subscribers

**/r/Jokes metrics:**

Total Subscribers: 2,006,077

Subreddit Rank: 35

Subreddit Growth & Milestones: http://redditmetrics.com/r/Jokes

I subscribed to a great new magazine the other day.

There's just one issue.

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you." He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

**Edit:** Credit where due -- [/u/samvet21 informs me](/r/Jokes/comments/8cnjvk/i_saw_a_little_boy_at_the_bus_stop_eating_a_giant/dxhf9ku/) that the original joke was by Philadelphia comedian [Todd Gl...

How many r/conspiracy subscribers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they've all been illuminated.

I have some serious GI issues. So I subscribed to Constipation Magazine...

But it takes forever for an issue to come out.

Three months have passed

Since I have subscribed to the gym membership and I didn't lose a single pound. I might have to go there in person to see what's happening.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quarrantine Day 7: Research continues on the effect of excessive masturbation on eyesight.

Dont forget to press the "subscribe" button to see my next video!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know I’m not a sexy guy...

I mean I’ve only got one subscriber on OnlyFans and that’s because my mom insists on supporting me in all my endeavors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are you TIRED of ads?

Now is your chance! Get 2% off till December 23 and buy the ultimate "no-ads-ever-again" gift for family or yourself (only $9.99 instead of $10.09)! Check out our store and be sure to subscribe to our quarter-hourly e-mail newsletter (newsletters include, but are not limited to, ads, advertisements,...

How many youtubers does it take to change a light bulb?

first hit like and subscribe in the upper corner.

Tired of all the reposts, the admin team decided to number the jokes. So, if anyone wanted to repost, they'd just post the number and take their karma.

A new subscriber comes and watches this, unable to understand. He sees a post with just the number 3771, having 2.1k upvotes. He gets very confused.
So, he decides to make a post of himself. He posts 92075, and he gets 45.6k upvotes. He is intrigued, so much that he messages the mod team and ask...

No matter what you guys say, I’m not unsubscribing from James Charles

That entails having to subscribe to him in the first place

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Subscriber,

We are cutting off your Internet service due to illegal downloading.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new weight loss program

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious Health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, heran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself.
But desperate, he calls them up and subs...

I made a YouTube video about the violence I endured as a writer on board a U-boat

Just hit subscribe.

What’s all the fuss about Twitch streaming?

Like, comment, subscribe and I’ll tell you

My very popular son keeps getting hit at school.

I told my wife we shouldn't have named him Subscribe.

One freind is telling the other a joke

"There are to people on a boat pete and repeat, pete falls of whose still on the boat?"

"repeat"

"There are to people on a boat pete and repeat, pete falls of whose still on the boat?"

"repeat"

"There are to people on a boat pete and repeat, pete falls of whose still on t...

A postman delivers the same things every day.

A postman delivers the same things every day. The man who owns the house walks out and talks to the postman one day.

Man: Why do you deliver the same items everyday?

Postman: because you subscribed to r/jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jake Paul finds a magic lamp and rubs it.

Jake Paul finds a magic lamp and rubs it. He finds Will Smith the genie in there. The genie says
"I will grant you three wishes, but be careful! Whatever you wish for, your brother Logan gets 37 times more than you do. What is your first wish?"

Jake, thinking about this for a lot, makes ...

Too Much Information

"Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?"

"No sir, it's Google's Pizza."

"Did I dial the wrong number?

"No sir, Google bought the pizza store."

"Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please."

"Okay sir, do you want the usual?"

"The usual? You know what my usua...

What does a werewolf YouTuber say?

Be sure to lycan subscribe!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 3 Construction Workers (really old joke, but one of my favorites when I was little)

(Sorry if this has been posted before, I only subscribed recently and haven't seen this one yet)

There are three construction workers: Joe, Bob, and Frank. One day they are sitting on an I-beam high above their construction site. It is lunch hour and the three have their lunchboxes, ready to ...

A rather bad man dies and meets Satan...

A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the fir...

r/fitness is just like the gym.

Everyone subscribes, but no one actually spends any time there.

2016 New Year Scratchcard

2015 is going to end soon! As an appreciation of your support to [/r/Jokes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/), every subscriber here can get one of the reward below:

* Grand Prize: iPhone 6s Plus 128G
* Second Prize: Samsung Galaxy Note 5
* Third Prize: Nintendo 3DS
* Consolation Priz...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was walking on a beach when he saw a woman with no arms or legs crying. He asked what was wrong.

She said: "I have no arms and no legs, and I've never been hugged."

He hugged her and kept walking. A few minutes later, he sees her crying again. He asked what was wrong now;

She said: "I have no arms and no legs, and I've never been kissed."

He kissed her and kept walking. ...

I'm confused

Guys this isn't really a joke... but why is the count of redditors subscribed to /r/jokes way over the number of users on reddit? like 67 million? and please don't downvote me.... im just confused

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.