This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.

Not even remotely.

(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk ass laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)

What do you call a disappointing bondage session?

BDSMH

It was a sad and disappointing day

When I discovered my universal remote control did not in fact control the universe.

Not Even remotely..

I just learned that "Space Rock" is a genre, and is slightly disappointing,

that no one just called it "Asteroid"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My first husband was a much better lover, the wife said after a rather disappointing sexual encounter.

Of course he was, the husband replied. He had a much younger wife.

What comes every month, expectantly but often disappointing and makes women wish they were men?

Salary.

After viewing the disappointing post-debate polls, Trump asked Kushner how to do better in the following debate.

Jared said,"be positive, spread your positivity, and after all is said and done, try to come across as a patient person"

I have this habit of disappointing my parents

I have this habit of always disappointing my parents, last week I told them I was doing the bar exam, I was actually doing a pub quiz but it’s the same difference.

Halloween is about to be so disappointing.

Might end up just dressing as a handyman and getting some stuff done around the house.

I just watched a movie about graphs, and it was really disappointing.

The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the porn star’s funeral so disappointing?

Nobody came

What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?

When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

I tried to find an anagram for "napping idiots."

The result was disappointing.

This sub is really disappointing me lately.

I'm going to try the meatballs next time.

Nintendo didn’t want a repeat of the disappointing sales from their Wii U.

It was clear that they needed to make a switch.

After a disappointing summer...

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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If you ask me for sex I’m going to have to disappoint you.

I mean yes we can have sex just it will be disappointing.

Finding out the girl you took home from the bar is actually a guy is like heating your food in the microwave and it still being cold in the middle...

... It's disappointing, but you're gonna eat it anyway.

3 steps to disappointing everyone

1. Over promise
2. Under deliver

Did you hear about the disappointing shortage of seats at the Church of Fake Lazer Sounds?

They really need more pews.

I went to a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up last night. It was actually really disappointing; he didn't use any of his old jokes I used to love...

Like, what's up with that?

What is more disappointing than a funeral?

Maroon 5 dancing on the money they made through Stephen Hillenburg's death.

I wish my cereal didn't get soggy so fast.

But Life is often disappointing.

This is a joke we tell in Armenian, I think it comes out well in English too.

Little Johnny is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what is needed in their lives.

The first student is a little girl, she stands up and says "my family is mostly happy but what we really n...

What do you call a disappointing blue?

*sigh*-an

The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this year.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate disappointing people in general. So instead of telling my boss I’m gonna quit...

I’ve been tweeting homophobic and racist epithets for 8 months now, but sadly I’m still here.

You wanna hear a disappointing joke with an anticlimactic punchline?

Okay.

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