UPJOKE
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What do you call agents who thwart money laundering schemes?

Detergents

I'm thwarting a global cyber attack using Binary

I guess you could say I'm defending the world, One Zero at a time...

The FBI just thwarted a July 4th terrorist attack in Cleveland.

But they couldn't stop LeBron from dropping a bomb on the city last night.

The names Bond...

I am writing the next James Bond movie. In order to thwart Bonds womanizing means of infiltration, the latest evil mastermind has employed an army of devout nuns.

I am calling it, Hymen’s Are Forever.

A guy wearing full camo sneaks into a bar

He tip-toes his way through the few customers idling about and tries to sneak behind the counter, but an invisible force violently pushes him back.

Realizing he's somehow been detected, he tries to escape from the bar only to be thwarted by another stern shove blocking his exit.

The ba...

The Kings English

I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word, That looks like beard but sounds like bird.

And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead -- For goodness’ sake, don...

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Murphy...

...had had a very rough life. He was orphaned at the age of four, and was physically abused at every foster home he lived in. When he made it to high school, he was determined to study hard and make something of himself. But he was a sickly boy, and missed so much school that he didn't graduate.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talking Dog for Sale

A man was driving down a road and came across a sign in front of a house reading "Talking Dog for Sale." Out of curiosity he stops at the house and knocks on the door. An old man answers. The man asks, "I saw your sign saying that you have talking dog for sale." The old man replies, "I do. You ...

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