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Disappointed Jokes

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As a Muslim redditor, I feel disappointed...

That my posts never blows up.

Edit 1: Everyone says that my jokes are the bomb, but still this shit didn't explode.

Edit 2: KA-BOOOM!

Edit 3: For those wondering, I am a Muslim for real and I find this shit funny af so chill out guys, no need to hate on religions, we're at /r/jo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife was very disappointed when I told her that I got "I love you" tattooed on my penis.

She just shook her head and said, "There you go again, always trying to put words in my mouth."

I just finished the book “101 mating positions”, and I was really disappointed.

Turns out—-it’s a book about chess.

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“I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.”

“You can hardly blame me,” I answered. “It’s not like I was getting any from you.”


“Well, that’s your own fault,” she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it.”

Is my girlfriend disappointed in my body?

A tiny part of me says 'yes'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother said she was disappointed when I came out.

I said, "I'm not gay, mum."

"I was referring to your birth," she replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher looked disappointed, as she handed back my F-marked exam sheet.

"That is possibly the worst English paper I have ever tried to read." She scolded. "Have you anything to say for yourself?"


"Just two words, miss," I replied. "Go fuck yourself."


I'm shit at maths, too.

What did the disappointed Nigerian horse say to his breakfast?

“Why are you HAY?”

Camilla was really disappointed after the coronation.

She thought all rulers were 30 centimetres (12 inches)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm disappointed with all this sex on TV nowadays.

They're way too thin, I always fall off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read that 30% of the internet is pornography and that really makes me disappointed in humanity...

...70% of the internet is being completely wasted.

I was disappointed to find out a vasectomy doesn’t prevent you from getting your wife pregnant.

It just changes the color of the baby. :(

What do you call a disappointed cat?

*sigh*amise

My wife was disappointed to find out why my nickname in college was "The Love Machine."

I sucked at tennis.

I was disappointed when my son got a job as a scarecrow

But he's outstanding in his field!

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It’s not the end of the world."

Stupid auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

Dad my girlfriends pregnant

"Dad, my girlfriend's pregnant."

"I'm not mad, just disappointed."

"Hi disappointed, I'm dad."

"Did you jus..."

"Yes."

"You're ready."

"I'm not ready, I just told you that I'm dad."

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the...

The prisoner pleaded, "I'm sorry I tried to escape!" The guard shrugged and sighed, "I'm not mad, just disappointed." Remember kids...

...never let your guard down.

It turns out, 'Fox News' has no actual coverage of foxes.

I was also disappointed by BBC news.

I am disappointed.

I cracked a chemistry joke but there was no reaction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

Do you ever wake up disappointed because you were eating something tasty in your dreams?

Stacey. Her name was Stacey.

I’m so disappointed.

I found out my pillow case is nothing but a sham.

As a good deed, I leaned over and hugged someone who looked disappointed.

The guy at the urinal didn't seem to appreciate it, though.

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my Asian parents that I am Asexual.

They were disappointed that I wasn't A+sexual

Disappointed by my family tree

Turns out it is a cactus, there's a prick on every branch.

I got home with my one night stand. She pulled down my pants and looked disappointed!

She said you told me it was 12 inches!
"No" I replied "you mis-heard me. I said it smells like a foot".

You’ll be disappointed.

Wanna hear a bad time travel joke?

I told my doctor that I was a bit disappointed that my Viagara prescription wasn't working

He said "don't worry mate, just hold your head up and you'll be fine!"

Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to London?

She found out Big Ben was only a clock.

I walked into a shop called Foot Locker but left very disappointed.

They didn't have anywhere for me to store a foot.

Why did a customer leave the blockbuster store disappointed?

They were never going to give him Up.

Disappointed that the purchased LSD has no effect,

Ivan sat on his dragon and flew away.

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A vegan is at the entrance of a university campus trying to get others to become vegan

He sees an angry and disappointed kid walking out of the campus, and takes the opportunity to ask if they want to become vegan.

“You know who else was vegan?” the angry kid responds. “Adolf Hitler. And I just got kicked out of art school right now, so I’m not taking any risks.”

Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night?

Han shot first.

My car was disappointed...

It found out what a car pool really was.

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The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to...

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I just took my sausage dog back to the pet shop. Really disappointed with it.

The sausages it made were fucking disgusting.

Why was Santa disappointed that he got a sweater for Christmas?

Because he wanted a squirter, or at least screamer.

What would a gun type if they're disappointed?

SMG

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early!



I'll let myself out.

I was disappointed when it didn’t snow on my wedding day...

But I did get 8 inches on my honeymoon.

A man goes to a zoo and is disappointed to find it has only one animal, a dog

It's a Shih Tzu.

Melania is very disappointed of Donald in couples therapy

All he does is build walls.

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test ...

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,...

Disappointment

Parents: We are disappointed in you.

Son: Why?

Parents: Even the map from dora is better than you

Son: How?

Parents: Because he knows where he is going in life.

This father has always been disappointed by his son...

One day he sees his son watching tv and asks him

"Son, how old are you?"

"I'm 5 Dad!" says his son, joyful

To which the father angrily replies "Me, at your age, I was 6!"

Why was the toilet disappointed in his new TV?

It was only 720pee.

I watched a documentary on mathematical functions last night, but was really disappointed.

The plot line was predictable. The special f(x) was awful too.

My son came out to me yesterday. I'm so disappointed.

I love my son, but this is tearing me up inside. I always thought I would be able to handle something like this, but this really is tough. It impacts so much of our relationship and family time. I mean, I had planned this big family dinner Sunday evening. (I smoked an awesome roast pork, I was so ex...

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When it comes to sex I've never seen a disappointed look on any woman's face.

That's the advantage of doggie style.

I'm disappointed BIC company doesn't make gardening equipment

Who wouldn't want to have a Dig Bic Plow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Really disappointed with the new Beatles album

It's all drum & bass

Game of Thrones's Night King disappointed me ...

He's not even able to hit the broadside of a Bran...

I was disappointed by the British version of Breaking Bad.

It ends after he gets cancer and all his treatment is paid for by the NHS.

What type of cat is always disappointed ?

Sighamese

What did the disappointed mozart-fan infant say when he opened his gift?

Baby got Bach

Why was Mary disappointed by Jesus?

He was the only B gotten son. Everybody else got A's

Why was the female crocodile disappointed in her mate?

He had a reptile dysfunction

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

I was very disappointed when i signed up for Instagram....

I thought it was a cocaine delivery service!

What part of a police car sounds disappointed?

The sighren.

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