The Secretary of Defense directed members of different services to secure a building.

The Navy personnel turned off the lights and locked the door.

The Army personnel occupied the building and ensured no one could enter.

The Marines attacked it, captured it, and set up defenses.

The Air Force secured a two-year lease with an option to buy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The...

A tale of two idiots

Two yokels get a job at a factory. First day on the job, the manager tells them how to do their task on the assembly line.

He goes to take of something, and comes back half an hour later to find one of the yokels working exactly as directed, and the other one hanging from the ceiling.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Silver side up is Nickelback's best album

Especially when used as directed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.

His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he mi...

This post is directed to the person who hacked my reddit account.

I swear I'm going to find out who you are!

I directed a movie about my broken leg.

It had a stellar supporting cast.

So I heard Jessica Jones is directed by only Females

Well thats one way of saving 20% on production costs

What do you call a small gesture of acknowledgement directed towards an oven?

A micro wave.

The Lorena Bobbitt documentary was very informative and well directed, my only criticism is that it was way too long

They should have cut half of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

Did you hear about the wizard who directed a film?

He really made movie magic

< Healing >



A guy in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked
the waitress for a cup of coffee. The guy looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress
nodded "yes," so the guy requested that she give Jesus a cup of
coffee...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.