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My neighbor won't give me a straightforward answer, he's always beating around the bush.

Every time I ask why he just says "fuck you Gerald, it's my bush and I'll masturbate here if I want to"

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A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi.

“Rabbi,” he said, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”

“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.

“Well, Ra...

I was excited to judge my first cooking competition

The local university was holding an iron chef style cooking competition where three students prepared a meal centering around a theme ingredient. The theme of the competition was turkey dinner, and before I knew it the kitchen was abuzz with the sounds and the smells of cooking.

After an hour...

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I hate gays

They are never straightforward

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(NSFW) The hippy and the nun

One day a hippy walks into a bus, when he spots a nun sitting in the first chair. To him, the nun is one of the best looking women he has ever seen. Being the straightforward guy he is, the hippy walks up and asks, “Hey, wanna have sex?” The nun, shocked, smacks him in the face, and gets off at the...

Did you hear the joke about the circle?

Nevermind. The punchline wasn't straightforward anyways.

[NSFW] What were you doing in the bedroom?

A little kid returns from school earlier. There are unusual sounds from the parents' bedroom. He hears his parents screaming "Oh, sugar! Oh, honey!", but the bedroom door is locked so he can't see what's going on.
In the evening he asks his parents: "Mom, dad, what were you doing in the bedroom...

My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion.

I said "yeah it's pretty straightforward"

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A girl is at the circus...

... and she sees an elephant. She asks her mom "What's that between the elephant's legs?"

Her mom is embarrassed and says "That's nothing, dear."

Unsatisfied with this answer, she turns to her dad and asks "Daddy, what's that between the elephant's legs?"

Her dad is straightforw...

Prostate examination [NSFW]

A guy goes into the medical center for a checkup. The nurse asks him if he's ever had a prostate exam before, and reassures him it's very straightforward and not to worry. Just go through into the next room, and the doctor will be with you shortly.
So he goes into the room and starts undressing. ...

I've always wanted to be a train driver.

It seems pretty straightforward.

The condemned prisoner stood before the firing squad.

The jail warden told him that as per custom, he was to be granted one final request, provided it was something straightforward and easily manageable.

The prisoner explained that he loved singing and requested to sing his favourite childhood song to completion.

The warden motioned to ...

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Where’s The Cheese

Paddy goes to the patent office, having invented a new mouse trap. It consists of a ramp with a razor blade at the top, set at right angles. Below the drop is a piece of cheese.

Patent officer: “How does it work then?”

Paddy: “Quite straightforward. The mouse walks up the ramp. When he...

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New US dollar announced today...

They've decided to change the motto. After much pressure from atheist groups, they're removing 'In God We Trust' and going back to Latin. However, 'E Pluribus Unum' sounds too foreign and reeks of socialism, so they're going with a more simple and straightforward 'Carpe Vulva'.

The runner up ...

Marrying in heaven...

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates awaiting St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows u...

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