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Redirect Jokes

All states should legalize marijuana and redirect the resulting tax revenues to road repair

We'll call the program "Operation Pot Holes."

Old Macdonald...

...spelled "redirection" without any consonants.

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

The Captain of an American Airliner receives a message from a few miles ahead...

The Captain of an American Aircraft Carrier is sailing his ship through a deep fog, so much that he can barely see anything. They are moving slowly, and all crew members are instructed to be on high alert, ready to act at a moment's notice. Suddenly, he receives a call from something just a few mile...

So I typed in "r/lastweeksposts"...

And was immediately redirected to 9gag. Go figure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two hunters are out in the woods. One of them gets his penis bitten by a poisonus snake.

Two hunters are out in the woods. One of them gets his penis bitten by a poisonus snake.

The first hunter tries to call for help, but he has no service so he climbs up a high tree while his friend waits for him in agony at the bottom. Almost at the top, he finally gets a signal on his phone ...

One day St. Peter saw a street gang walking up to the Pearly Gates

St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some low-life, thieving street gang members at the Gates. What do I do?"  

God relied, "Just do what you normally do with that type; redirect them."

St. Peter went back to carry out the order, and all of a sudden he went running back yelli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pickle slicer

Joe worked in a pickle factory. He would go in every day with an overwhelming desire to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. The desire was so overwhelming and embarrassing that he sought professional help.
For a year, the therapist talked with him, tried to redirect his thinking, but nothin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny’s father

First grade teacher is going around the class asking the students what their dads do for a living.

She asks Sally and Sally says that her dad is a lawyer and he puts bad people in jail.

The teacher asks Tommy and Tommy says that his dad is a doctor and he helps cure sick people.
...

[Discussion] Anyone have any jokes for this situation?

Firstly, i'm not exactly sure if i'm allowed to post this type of thread. If i'm not, please redirect me to a subreddit that could possibly help before spewing mindless hatred.

A friend of mine has started dating a new girl recently and she's two years younger than him and she's underage. The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump snuffs it, and arrives at the Pearly Gates

they issue him with a Redirect Notice, and he is sent to the not-so-pearly ones.
The Devil looks at his clipboard irritably.
“Look, I’ve got a problem. You’re due here about now, but I’m full. I’ll have to ID one of the temporary inmates, whose sentence is just about up, and give them an ...

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