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Developers Jokes

Why are the developers of NoMansSky called Hellogames?

Because you never get a goodbuy from them

Two software developers

So, there were two friends who had worked together as software developers for a long time. One day, one of them died of a heart attack. The night after the funeral, the remaining guy had a dream in which his dead friend told him that he had two pieces of news - one good and one bad. The good news wa...

Why are jokes about game developers always so funny?

They work on so many levels

What is the best advice for new software developers?

Google it.

what is the difference between java and kotlin Android developers?

Java developers have no fun

All web developers hate finding bugs in their work.

Except spiders

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they can't C#.

How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a hardware problem.

Why can’t software developers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

(hint: octal and decimal are numerical bases 8 and 10 respectively, happy holidays!)

Why do frontend developers eat lunch alone?

Because they don't know how to join tables.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you ever wonder if the web developers behind Pornhub were inspired by Kevin Costner & Field of Dreams

If you build it, they will cum

My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.

Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.

Why don’t developers carry guns?

They have troubleshooting.

The most common type of web developers are not even human

they are spiders

Dating Developers

D1: Hey did you tried that dating website I suggested?
D2: Yep, It sucked.
D1: Why you didn't get any interesting matches.
D2: No, I got many matches, but the website was developed in php.

Two developers are working on a simulation when it suddenly goes haywire before returning to normal

Dev 1: Did you see that? I think the simulation just broke for a second.

Dev 2: I think it's more accurate to say it glitched.

Dev 1: Dude, I'm not about to argue over sim antics.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For all you web developers out there.

Why couldn't the div buy a drink?

It lacked id.

Why couldn't the div find a girlfriend?

It lacked class.

Why wasn't the div good at diplomacy?

Its position was absolute.

Why was the div an anarchist?

It had no borders.

Why couldn't the div pla...

Are there any iOS developers reading this that can help me with something?

Just kidding, I know they’re all too busy for Reddit after today’s announcement, and are struggling to update their apps for tomorrows iOS 14 release.

Why can’t early access developers ever have children?

They can never finish.

Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

It's a regular expression.

My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"

I commented on that post

"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".

Developers don't spoon their SO

They fork them.

If software developers made cars

They would cost $500, get 200 miles per gallon, and once a year would explode. Killing everyone inside.

What is the new fad diet for ghost developers?

The Boolean.

What do white girls and web developers have in common?

nobody ever compliments our back end
:(

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