What do you call a cheese maker that works very hard?

An overacheeser

Heard the one about the Jewish beer maker?

Hebrew

A group of revolutionaries hired a Swiss watch maker to build a clock that would chime when the overthrow began.

And the worlds first Coup Coup Clock was born...

For a dollar, a change-maker will get you four quarters, or ten dimes, or twenty nickels...

That makes cents, right?

Did you know that shoe makers are very talkative?

They love to converse

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what do you get when you put your dick in a sandwich maker?

a paninis

What do you call a family friendly gun maker?

A HECK ler

What language speaks a typical Belgian beer maker?

Hebrew

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Lee Smart was always a trouble maker throughout his life.

In school, Lee Smart was always getting in trouble. His friend, Isaac, always stuck by his side, though. They were always best friends.

Though Isaac was getting sick of Lee’s crap. Lee kept drinking and driving, he kept smoking Marijuana and snorting Cocaine. Isaac was so close to just leavi...

What do you call a French leather coat maker...?

Jim Lapel.

My Uncle used to say: "when one door closes, another opens"

He was a decent philosopher, but a lousy cabinet maker.

Why doesn't a coffee maker need that third prong on its electrical plug?

The beans are ground.

I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah." she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now."

Why did the perfume maker end up in the mental hospital?

Because he stopped making scents

The makers of summers eve

The makers of summers eve has release a new product line for men. A spray for men called umpire, for foul balls.

Fun Facts

Did you know that recent survey’s and studies have shown Bee Keepers to be the best Match Makers?

It’s true. When they looked into it, the study shows that beauty is indeed in the eye of the Bee-Holder

Why was the protein powder maker never satisfied with his work?

He always kept looking for new wheys to improve

Why couldn’t the pasta maker get into his apartment?

Because he had gnocchi.

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

A journalist was tasked to interview the best costume maker in the world...

So the journalist asked for an appointment with the costume maker, and luckily, he accepted.

Now this costume maker might be famous, but no one but himself and a few people know his real name. His identity was shrouded in mystery. The name he goes by is Mr. D.D., which are his initials. The j...

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A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi.

“Rabbi,” he said, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”

“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.

“Well, Ra...

Why shouldn't you let a shoe maker use your bathroom?

They'll clog your toilet.

Another wooden ball?

Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?

What do you call it when perfume makers try to take over the world?

Cologneialism

What do you call a new dress-maker who is uncomfortable with the idea of customers testing her merchandise?

A seamstress who seems stressed when you stress the seams.

She was only a whiskey-maker's daughter

but he loved her still.

How do you make a coffee maker cry?

With a very dark roast.

I got fired from my job as a stencil maker.

I guess it just wasn't cut out for me.

Irony of life!

The doctor hopes you fall ill.

The police hopes you become a criminal.

The lawyer hopes you get into trouble.

The priest wants you to get married.

The coffin maker wants you dead.

Only a thief wishes you prosperity in life!

An antivaxer has a heart attack. He's rushed to ER, but during the emergency surgery, his heart stops, rendering him clinically dead.

Before he knows it, he's face to face with none other than God himself, Author of the Universe, Maker of All. God smiles beatifically and says, “Don't worry. The doctors working on you are good; you'll be back in no time. But as long as you're here, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?”
<...

What do you call a Finnish coffee maker?

A perkele-tor!

What did the Redditor say to the yogurt maker?

Ah, I see you're a man of culture.

They arrested the overweight soap maker

Apparently he was a big fat lyer.

I don't know who Cole is..

But he's my favorite law maker.

A couple were going on a vacation together but the wife had an emergency at work.

So they agreed the husband would go as planned and his wife would meet him at the hotel the next day.

When the husband got to his hotel and had checked in, he thought he should send his wife a quick email letting her know he'd got there ok.

As he typed in her email address, he made a t...

Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

Where do poor Italian noodle makers live?

In the Spaghetto.

I bought a bread-maker but the sales assistant tried to talk me out of it

He said there was no knead

The cabinet maker

A woman in Tel-Aviv finally saves enough money to buy a new hand-made cabinet, and has it installed in her home, which faces the street whereby bus number 5 passes.

As she is admiring her new purchase, she notices that bus number 5 passes her house, and as it does, the cabinet doors open up...

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At the Custom

There is this young boy living in the border of Venezuela. He is a well known trouble maker and he is well known with the police and the custom officers.

One day, the boy is crossing from Colombia to Venezuela on a bicycle with 2 bags of sand at the back.

The custom guard know this boy...

True

You can lead a jackass to logic but you can't make them think.

If you laid all of the world's economists end-to-end they wouldn't reach a conclusion.

It is easier to tell a book by it's cover than without it.

If God meant for humans to fly He wouldn't have created so much traffi...

Watch makers are the best people to date.

They make time for you.

What do you call a really old clothes maker?

Tailor old as time.

A man walks up to a russian clock maker

A man walks up to a russian clock maker. He says, "My clock just goes tik, tik, tik, it never goes tok!

The russian clock maker holds a flashlight up to the clock and yell: WE HAVE WAY OF MAKE YOU TOK

*At the hospital*

“What’s your height, sir?”

“183 cm, doctor.”

“I’m no doctor, sir. I’m the coffin maker...”

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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck..

and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each before they enter paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps his fingers, an...

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get?

Tic tac toe

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A man walked into a bar in Scotland, sat down and ordered a drink.

Next to him was a leathery old Scotsman, well into the bottle in front of him.

The man asked the Scotsman if there was something the matter.

The Scot replied; "Aye lad, indeed there is. You see this bar here? I made this bar with me own two hands, slowly crafting it in the time-honored...

They say don’t put all your eggs in one basket....but who are “they”?

Basket makers looking to sell more units.

Instead of working out, I'm just going to get a label maker.

I'll label my scale "1-10", then every time I step on it I'll be reminded that on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 220.

What is a Vietnamese sandwich maker’s favorite pick up line?

Banh mi.

A man hated his job as a lamp maker

A man named Jim decided to sell his own lamps but didn't sell any. His friends tried helping Jim by advertising, but to no avail. Jim hated it. Now he had a ton of lamps in his home. One day a robber broke into Jim's house and stole all of the lamps. All of Jim's friends felt terrible for Jim. When ...

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During lunch break on a high rise construction site....

...Dave says, "Hey Daryl tell the crew how you made a fast $50 this morning!"

"It was weird!", says Daryl. "I was on the 23rd floor and bumped a brick off the edge, I immediately yelled out "FALLING BRICK!!!. There was a lady standing at the bus stop below, she heard me, stepped to the side a...

What do sushi makers have in common with Spanish pirates?

They both seek fortuna.

I overheard some kids saying they were planning on doing a shooting at my old highschool.

I went over and told them I used to go there. I said i figured I'd save them some time and show them the best areas to do the shooting.

Afterward they thanked me but asked perplexed why i would help them.

I said "Just thought I could help some up and coming film makers. Us artists gott...

A pen maker's joke

I asked the ink drop why it looked so sad.

He said his mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long her sentence would be.

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Do they call me Craig the fence maker?

Bill was an American tourist in Scotland when he wandered off the trail and got lost. He wandered around for hours and was starting to worry when the sun went down. In the darkness, he saw a tiny light on top of a hill. He knew it meant civilization so he started walking towards it.

After an...

My sister is an expert pastry-maker.

She has to be to stay employed, her job has a high turnover rate.

Why did the boat maker from France have so many allies?

He was great at building French ships.

What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?

You seamstressed.

What do you call a fast clothes maker?

Taylor Swift!

Made up by my nine year old :)

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

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There is a store in Spain that sells exquisite handmade writing instruments.

This store has all kinds of bespoke fountain pens and rollerball pens and even ball point pens. There are pens made of fine hard woods and precious metals inlaid with all kinds of gems. These pens are all handmade by artisans who have been in the business for generations.

But what really sets...

Did you hear about the dress maker who went to the ATM?

She was electrocuted when she put in her pin.

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Just heard this variation on an oldie!

A hat maker was trying to sell his hats on a hot summers day. After having no luck for 4 hours under the sun, he decided to take a short rest underneath a gigantic tree. He set his briefcase of hats down, took one out to cover his face, and laid down on the grass. With the shade from his hat and the...

Did you hear about the kilt maker that went to prison?

He had quite the chequered past.

I just got a futuristic coffee maker.

It was a ground-breaking development.

Why are mirror makers proud of what they do?

Their work is a reflection of themselves.

Did the depressed rope maker succeed?

Sadly, he did knot.

What's a sausage makers favourite band?

Linkin Pork

A priest, a rabbi and an engineer are being lead to the guillotine to be executed.....

The priest tells the executioner, "I want to meet my maker face to face, can I lie on my back?"

The executioner says, "I see no problem with that."

As the blade comes down it stops halfway. The executioner sees this as a miracle and sets the priest free.

The rabbi makes the same...

What was built after the Indian sandwich maker's shop burned down?

A New Delhi

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O'Connor The...

So, I was having a conversation with some old irish guy at the pub, was pretty swell. We talked about life, hobbies, interests and then, jobs... Old guy starts with looking at the table, says out "Well I built dat table, but dey don't call me O'Connor De Table Maker." He looks to me, "I help some pe...

A coffin maker was on his way to deliver a coffin

...when his car broke down. Trying not to be late he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.

A policeman saw him, told him to stop and asked, "Hey what are you carrying and where are you going?"

The man replied,

"I do not like where I was buried so I ...

How the Internet started according to the bible.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto...

Why are hunters good love-makers?

They always go deep in the bush, they can shoot more than once, and eat what they shoot.

Why are jewish potion makers all male?

He brew

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[NSFW] A ship captain has the best crew but...

Every time he goes out to sea they drink all his rum. If it was any other crew he would get rid of them but they are the best he has ever worked with. So came up with a plan to recoup his costs. He gathers his crew and tells them "You are the best crew I have ever had but something needs to be done ...

An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.

It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary's church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O'Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter.

When will the madness end?

I tried washing my coffee maker today

Now I'm no longer allowed in Starbucks unless the barista has the restraining order removed.

What did both the bomb expert and the digital clock maker say to their mother?

Look, Ma! No hands!

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Bill, a small business owner is at work one day and hears God speak to him.

"Bill, this is God," says a booming voice, "You need to sell your business and go to Las Vegas with all of your proceeds."

Bill is understandably shocked and when he asks God why he should do that, the instructions are repeated, only louder. So Bill, having been raised a God- fearing person, ...

Why did the woman marry the shoe maker?

Because she was his sole mate.

What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such

I was involved in very organized crime

What did the cheese maker say after his factory was hit by lightning?

I've created a muenster.

I know, I know, it was cheesy joke.

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Why did the butter maker not tell anybody his secret recipe?

He was afraid they'd spread it around.

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Married man picks up a girl at the bar

Married man picks up a lady at the bar, riding his motorcycle to her house he hits a cow. Police show up and the lady has a broken leg. He gets home and the wife heard it all on the police scanner and ask him what the hell was the lady doing? Husband said I dont know what that drunk bitch was doing ...

A Rabbi's money maker.

A man asks a Rabbi if he gets paid for the circumcisions. The Rabbi says
- No, I can't do that! I just Keep the tips!

What do you call a Vegan with diarrhea?

A smoothie maker!

A reddit user goes to order a foot long sandwich...

The sandwich maker asks, "What would you like on your sandwich?"

The user says, "Oh, I like anything on a sub, except for mayonnaise and reposts"

Did you hear about the lazy perfume-maker?

He made no scents.

A furniture-maker got caught by his wife coming in at 4am

"Damn it, Jesse! I will not let you ruin our marriage over one night stand!"

How are a sword maker and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air alike?

They're both black smiths

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