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Startup Jokes

My friend begged me to help fund his marijuana startup

I said I was a bit low on seed capital

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Startup for medical tests via butthole swabs

TheirAnus

Why did the startup founder take a pill in Ibiza?

To show a VC he was cool.

In 12 months, my startup has gone from $0 in monthly revenue to 8-figures in monthly revenue.

Here's how we did it:

August 2021: $0

August 2022: $0.0000000

I am starting my new venture, a startup healthy food delivery app that will help all to reduce weight dramatically!...

Basically it works as follows: You place your order, and I don't deliver the food at all.

Startup idea: A robotic arm that automatically swaps out your NES cartridges for you.

Sure, you say it's a ludicrous idea, that it wouldn't have worked even if it was 30 years ago, the market doesn't exist, it's doomed to fail, etc.



But I'm telling you, it's gonna be a game changer.

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

A psychologist visits an engineer in his hospital bed

The guy had just jumped off a bridge. The psychologist says, "Hey there Ahmed, I'm Dr. Adams, how you feeling today?" And the engineer replies, "In pain, but lucky to be alive, I guess."

Dr. Adams wants to help, so she asks the engineer about his life. The engineer tells her he came from Liby...

A small company hosts a costume party

A small startup company announces they will be holding an employee costume party to celebrate the end of their first fiscal year in business.

The theme of the party is “Past and Present” to celebrate the work that has been done while also looking forward to the years to come. To further expa...

What do you call 3 friends in Silicon Valley?

A startup.

Tommy will figure

Tommy's Mum: Tommy, you need to let your younger brother learn things on his own too.

Tommy: Sure Mom!

Johnny: (Tommy's younger brother) What's 89 times 2

Tommy: it's.... (Interrupted by Mum)

Tommy's Mum: Tommy Hilfiger it out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese venture capitalist fell in love with a blonde

A Japanese venture capitalist was visiting the USA to evaluate a startup. The founder was desperate to get funding and to close the deal asked his blonde girlfriend to flirt with him.

The Japanese had never seen such a beauty before and instantly fell in love. The Japanese man asked the blond...

WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind.

On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.

Turns out, it's cancer.

Which Beatle wanted to make it big as an entrepreneur?

Ringo Startup

How do you get a small fortune?

You start with a big fortune and invest in startups.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

office merger

Mike's startup company wasn't doing that well. He had a great idea for a tech startup, he got funding from venture capitalists, hired programmers, accountants, marketing analysts, everything. But sadly Super Tech Enterprises was failing. For months his former roommate's company was offering to bu...

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