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Properties Jokes

A scientist was studying life extending properties through diet...

And realized he had the perfect formula for eternal life. He developed a special food formula which he fed to seagulls. Then he would feed their eggs to a pair of dolphins.

After 10 years on a diet of fortified seagull eggs, the dolphins hadn't aged a day. But there was one problem. Th...

Two CSS properties walk into a bar...

Two CSS properties walk into a bar.

A barstool in a completely different bar falls over.

My neighbour has put up a fine mesh barrier between our properties.

I think it's a fence sieve.

Why do so many Norwegians choose to buy properties with access to running water?

Because those are the properties that are affjordable!

There was a monster who ate properties...

He ate a lot.

They asked me if I'd sit on the boundary between two properties.

I'm on the fence about it.

The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme...

It heals all wounds.

"Excuse me, is this pool stirred up by angels and imbued with healing properties?"

"No, Sir, I'm afraid this font is sans-Seraph."

Women are not the property of men.

Properties value goes up as it age.

I had a chance to buy a couple of haunted houses and turn them into rental properties...

but I said no, because who wants to be the lessor of two evils?

I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more.

I'm in it for the long hall.

My wife's mad just because I told my mother in law I can't wait til she gets to move into one of our properties....

... we own a cemetery.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy's last will...

Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast.
He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My...

A family gather round the death bed of grandad, his solicitor arrives as the man is able to read out his will:

'To my daughter, I leave my Kensington properties says grandad'

'To my son, I leave my Richmond properties'

'Finally, as I have the most properties in Windsor and Ascot, I leave these for the grandchildren'

The solicitor turns to the grandmother and quietly whispers 'My god, I n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

A New Metal has been added to Chemistry

Name: Woman
Symbol: Wm
Atomic mass: Light when first found... tends to get heavier with time.


**PHYSICAL PROPERTIES**

- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love
- Very Bitter if Mishandled


**CHEMICAL PROPERTIES** ...

An engineer is giving a lecture at the local college...

The lecture hall is completely full with a line out the door of people trying to get in. From the outside of the building the audience could be heard erupting with laughter, applause, oohs and aahs, and gasps of surprise.

A man walking by sees the line out the door and hears the commotion co...

The man with an orange for a head

A bartender is working on a quiet Sunday when an unusual man comes in.

The man has an orange for a head. Perfectly normal body up to the neck, then just a massive orange instead of a head.

The bartender serves the man and says "I hope you don't mind me asking you mate, but ... what h...

Triangles seem to be rich

They hold so many properties

The Magic Slide

Once upon a time, there was a magic slide that resided in a magical forest. If you shouted something while sliding down, you would land in a pile of whatever you had shouted.

One day, a man found the slide. As he slid down, he shouted "Gold!" and landed in a pile of gold.

Another man f...

Why can't Communists be programmers?

Because there is a hierarchy of classes, inheritance, and private properties

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