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A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!"

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.

Lo...

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Tim has been dating his girlfriend for months, but he was never able to get her to orgasm...

He tried everything. Different positions, speeds, different lubes, even different music playing in the background. Nothing worked. Finally, she complains that she's just too hot during sex, and being all sweaty kills the mood.

So not having an electric fan to cool them down, Tim invites his ...

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

Online dating during Covid is like:

I'm dying to meet you.

I’m dating a gymnast.

She’s head over heels.

“Take out” could mean food, dating, or murder.

If you’re a praying mantis, it means all three at the same time.

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do.

About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.

The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.”

“Do...

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My dating life is like pulp fiction

One minute I feel like John Travolta. I got class, style, a nice car and I’m on my way to pick up my date.

The next minute I’m getting fucked in the ass.

When a woman is dating the Invisible Man,

can she really say she's seeing someone?

I finally started dating my high school crush

Too bad I lost my teaching license over it

What's the most popular dating site in India?

Connect the dots.

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I thought about dating a Nazi once

but the swastika was a huge red flag.

My girlfriend broke up with me and started dating her gynecologist...

At least he knows what he's getting into.

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A father has three daughters of dating age

One Saturday night, he hears a knock on the door. He answers to see a young man, who says, "Hi I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?"

The father nods and calls her down. After a while he hears another knock on the door. The young man says, "Hi I'm Joe. I'...

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They say when you’re on the dating scene you should project the qualities you want from a person

I’ve not found a girlfriend yet but I sure have been sucking a lot of cock.

A woman said to her husband "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?"

So he took her to dinner and a movie, and dropped her off at her parent's house.

There are three unwritten rules of dating.

1.
2.
3.

I was dating a dentist.

I was really confused when she recommended Oral-B.

I'm really bad at dating

I find it hard to keep my interest in a woman and in the trunk of my car for so long

Recently started dating a chinese girl but not sure if I want to keep going.

She’s been raising a lot of red flags.

Dating a female tennis player is always a good idea.

They've got good aces.

What do you call two cheaters dating?

An open relationship.

My Jamaican buddy is dating a Spanish chick. He doesn't like her granddad, Juan...

But he does like Hernando.

What's Carol Baskin's favorite dating app?

Grindr

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

If I had a dollar for every girl that looked different in real life than she did on her online dating photos...

I still wouldn't have enough money for make-up remover for 1 of them

I've been dating a horse girl for three years now

It's been a stable relationship

Mom, I'm dating a man.

\-Whom, sweetheart?

\-Dante the mailman.

\-Dante the mailman? But he could be your father!

\-But mom, age is just a number.

\-Sweetheart, I don't think you understood.

I tried to get into online dating, but then I fractured my wrist...

I couldn't pick up lines

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So I started dating my high school girlfriend again.

It just felt right now that I've come out as gay, and she has transitioned into a guy.

If you’re dating a guy and you see the banner of the Soviet Union hanging on his wall, leave him!

That’s a big red flag!

Pandemic dating is weird. Last night I asked a girl at the grocery store for her digits ...

And she wrote down her temperature.

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and sta...

Having a PhD. gains you leverage in online dating

Helps with handling rejections well.

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I started a dating site for older people.

OK Boomer

What's the best part about dating a homeless woman?

After the date you can drop them off anywhere.

Dating is much easier since the lock down started.

Zero effort.

Why did the jewish girl get in trouble for dating a female cop?

According to kosher law, you can't eat pigs.

The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.

Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.

I just caught my husband asking somebody for dating advice...

He's just not sure that radiocarbon is the most reliable method.

Dating a blind woman is easy,

You know they won't be seeing anyone else.

I thought my blind neighbor started dating a guy

turns out she wasn’t seeing anyone

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A woman and a man meet at a rapid dating service......

...The man sits down and says, “I’ve only got three questions.”
“OK,” replies the woman.
“Do you like to clean?” he asks.
“I love cleaning,” she replies.
“Great. Do you like to cook for other people?”
“I love to cook,” she says.
“Fantastic,” says the man. “OK, last question. Do you...

A dating profile reads...

Single woman with Lysol and hand sanitizer seeking single man with two-ply toilet paper for good, clean fun.

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A young man’s dating hack

Out one night with his friends, a young man meets a beautiful young lady who agrees to go on a date with him the following day.

Worried he won’t remember her name, the young man uses a little memory trick to help his rememebr her name, which incidentally was Franny.

Fanny with and ‘r’,...

A girl I’m dating works long hours at a bakery. I don’t think it’s going to work out.

She’s too kneady.

High school guys be dating middle schoolers but are late to class

Like bro, your worrying about the wrong first period.

In college, I lived in a houseboat and started dating the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

I really like this gynecologist I’m dating

He checks a lot of boxes

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

What dating app do chickens use?

Tender.

I’m starting an online dating site for men who want to meet someone just like their mother.

It’s called Oedipal Arrangements.

Husband and Wife

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes ...

"I started dating a girl from another nation"

"Oh really? Which one?

" Imagination"

Of all the dating sites I've tried, I found the most success on Google.

I just typed in "single girls" and got 49 million matches!

I tried online dating recently and it is really refreshing. The ladies actually want to get to know you.

Last night my favorite one was asking me really great questions like my first pet's name and the street I grew up on. She even wanted to know about my mom and her maiden name!

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There was a man who recently started dating an extremely attractive woman

Soon he found out that he was required to spend 3 weeks in Hong Kong for work. He thought to himself "Damn, I'm going for 3 weeks and knowing the needs of my girlfriend, I'm sure she'll cheat on me".

He decides to go to a sex shop so that he could buy something with which his girlfriend could...

I'm done with dating sites

I'm only dating pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a car, a job and, pizza

A girl I am dating said, "I expect to be treated like a Disney Princess."

So I told her to pretend she is the Little Mermaid and stop talking.

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