Engagement Jokes

They find themselves meeting St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, and he’s about to let them in to Heaven. Before they go in, the woman says “St. Peter, we were planning to get married in a few months, is there any way we can get married in Heaven, so we can spend the rest of eternity together?”

“H... read more

If I founded reddit I'd be searching for better servers too.

He said he was bespoken for

"One that's a bit like you," she said.

"Full of sparkle?"

"Cheap and round," she replied.

her father asked, "Does this fellow have any money?"

The daughter shook her head sadly...

"Oh Daddy! You men are all alike," sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about you."

"How much did it cost?" she asked in a flash.

"£300," I told her.

"£300?!" she fumed. "You said you were going to spend a month's wages!"

"I didn't say it was going to be *my* month's wages."

Down South, a young man falls in love, and he rushes home to tell his Pappy about his new sweetheart.

Pappy sadly shakes his head back and forth and says, "Son, I hate to tell ya, but in mah youth, I sowed mah wild oats, and that girl is yer half-sister."

Brokenhearted, the young man c... read more

And suffering.

It's somewhere between Dayton and Marion.

Guess I can't go phishing anymore.

So I spent £200 and gave most of the ring to our landlord.

She realized she'd be known as Maria Shatner Mercedes.

Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Oedipus, this is my significant mother...

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

And finally, the suffer-ring

Gp- "So you know what ro do when she (wife) annoys you right?... bend her over your knee, pull her pants down. And you'll forget why you were annoyed."

When he could've called it a Kneel Diamond?

First, you get the engagement ring.

Then, you get the wedding ring.

And finally, you get suffering

A ENGAGEment ring

There was a diamond in the ruff.

They said I was mandated

As Frank greeted Mr. and Mrs. Lee, Lorraine's stunning sister, Claire, whispered something to him. Curious and suspicious, Lorraine decided to check on them and found Frank and Claire in bed together. Lorraine confronted Frank, who pleaded for another chance. Reluctantly, Lorraine agreed, but made i... read more

But she and the engagement ring still remain close.

During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.

After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner “Sir, we have been wondering why Brit... read more

He'd marry a thin girl because she could wear a smaller sized engagement ring.



Source: 1913 newspaper

A Nobel award winning physicist, who was afraid of flying, was on speaking tour of the nation's top colleges. He travelled by limousine to each destination to give his speech.
After two dozen engagements, the physicist and the limousine driver were having dinner before the next speech. The limous... read more

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger lady at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd... read more

She finally gets a reply from a man who has spent his entire life in the outback. They meet and hit it off immediately and, after a brief engagement, they get married. On the wedding night, she walks into their bedroom to find her new husband standing in the middle of the room, totally naked and all... read more