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Darth Vader Jokes

If Darth Vader was frozen in Carbonite

He would be Mannaquin Skywalker

Why doesn't Darth Vader like to eat Ewoks?

He thinks they're a little Chewie.

(from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber?

"I find your lack of face disturbing."

Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.

Ella wasn’t great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.

What is Darth Vader’s favorite month?

Imperial March

Darth Vader could never find love....

He was looking in Alderaan places.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are about to engage in a lightsaber duel, when Vader suddenly whispers, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."

Luke ignores him and continues to prepare for the fight.

Vader whispers again, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."

Luke lowers from his attack stance and asks, "Ok, what are you going on about?"



Vader says, "I can sense your presents."

1 My kid’s made up Star Wars joke: What does Darth Vader exhale?

Carbon Darkside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album

The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."

Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."

Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader?

Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

How does Darth Vader manage to eat through that mask?

He's force fed.

you ever hear about Darth Vader's other daughter, Ella Vader?

She's really going up in the world.

Did you know Darth Vader’s cousin lives in Switzerland and drives a cab?

He’s called ‘Taxi Vader’

How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland?

Welcome to the Park side.

My friends 10 yo daughter made this up while in the elevator today: "Did you know Darth Vader has another daughter?"

Mom: "No, who?"
Daughter: "Ella, Ella Vader."

Where does Darth Vader buy his clothes?

At the Death Store

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What instrument does Darth Vader play?

The rebel bass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Darth Vader so famous?

He was the first black man to admit he is the father.

You know Darth Vader actually did get married.

Even though he’s kind of a downer she’s much more uplifting… her name is Ella

i just learned that Darth Vader loved watching silly comedies.

May the farce be with you.

They put a model of young Darth Vader in the wax museum…

…actually it was Mannequin Skywalker.

What's Darth Vader's least favorite temperature?

Luke warm.

^^im ^^sorry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Darth Vader?

Since I was little people asked why did I want to be Darth Vader. Easy, I wanna be a villain so I can saunter everywhere. Luke is always sprinting somewhere, always running, always sweaty and on the move. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Fuck no, and I ain’t about to either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Met a prostitute who said she'll do anything for $50...

Guess who just got Darth Vader unlocked...

Say what you will about Darth Vader

But his sister Ella really takes things to another level.

Why does Santa Clause hate Darth Vader?

He's always feeling his presents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know that Darth Vader isn't a black man underneath the mask?

He claims to be your father.

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.

But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?

He hates it when it's high ground.

What’s Darth Vader favourite measurement system?

The Imperial System

Trump is Darth Vader's cousin!

Tax E. Vader.

Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves...

Apparently they are a choking hazard.

What first tipped Darth Vader off about the Millennium Falcon?

He found their lack of freight disturbing

^^May ^^the ^^Fourth ^^be ^^with ^^you!

What did Darth Vader say under the tree?

Luke... I feel your presents...

My sister just told this to me, and I genuinely laughed at it so I thought it belonged here!

Why does Darth Vader's breathing sound so angry?

He is just venting...

What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady?

Darth Vader probably gets high fived

What do you call a sick Darth Vader?

Barf Vader

-Courtesy of my 6 year old nephew.

Where does Darth Vader go shopping?

At the Darth Mall.

The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.

Darth Vader...

Of all the things that Darth Vader lost when the Death Star blew up, it was the destruction of his George Michael box set that affected him most deeply.

He finds his lack of Faith disturbing.

What’s Darth Vader’s favorite dessert?

*coooooo*

*kieeeee*

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

What is Darth Vader’s favorite Nissan vehicle?

The Rogue one.

How does Darth Vader like his toast...

On the dark side😂😂


(Told to me by my dad)

I met Darth Vader’s wife at the mall yesterday.

Nice gal, her names’s Ella.

Apple/orchard jokes needed!

I work at an apple orchard as an orchardist. I also tent to narrate the hay rides a lot. I've tried to Google apple jokes but could only find two decent ones.

What is darth vaders favorite apple? Empire apples

Why did the chicken cross the orchard? To get to the other cider

Tho...

What is Darth Vader's favorite snack?

(Breathe heavy for effect)

"Coooo-Keees"

Do you know why Darth Vader really betrayed the emperor?

His hatred became more palpable

How does Darth Vader take his coffee?

You would think black right? But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I heard Darth Vader's suit was really expensive.

It must have cost him an arm and a leg.

What did Darth Vader say when he sensed Luke for the first time?

"I have a dad feeling about this."

What’s Darth Vader’s stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

I'm getting my Darth Vader shaped mole checked out.

I'm concerned because it's on the dark side.

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

How do we know that Darth Vader is American?

Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader takes a trip to the clinic after having unprotected sex. What did his test results come back positive for?

Sithilis

What did Darth Vader tell Luke?

Luke, I am your [Unlock Content for 20000 Credits].

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